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    disapproval


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Compassion is not a popular virtue. Very often when I talk to religious people, and mention how important it is that compassion is the key, that it’s the sine qua non of religion, people look kind of balked, and stubborn sometimes, as much to say, “What’s the point of having religion if you can’t disapprove of other people?”

Karen Armstrong (b. 1944) British author, comparative religion scholar
NOW Interview with Bill Moyers, PBS (1 Mar 2002)
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Added on 5-Oct-20 | Last updated 5-Oct-20
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Philosophy had supplied Socrates with convictions in which he had been able to have rational, as opposed to hysterical, confidence when faced with disapproval.

Alain de Botton (b. 1969) Swiss-British author
The Consolations of Philosophy, ch. 1 “Consolations for Unpopularity” (2000)
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Added on 24-Aug-17 | Last updated 24-Aug-17
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It is good, too, that we sometimes suffer opposition, and that men think ill of us and misjudge us, even when we do and mean well. Such things are an aid to humility, and preserve us from pride and vainglory. For we more readily turn to God as our inward witness, when men despise us and think no good of us.

[Bonum est quod patiamur quandoque contradictiones, et male et imperfecte de nobis sentiatur, etiamsi bene agimus, et intendimus. Ista sæpe juvant ad humilitatem, et a vana gloria nos defendunt. Tunc enim melius interiorem testem Deum quærimus, quando foris vilipendimur ab hominibus, et non bene de nobis creditur.]

Thomas von Kempen
Thomas à Kempis (c. 1380-1471) German-Dutch priest, author
The Imitation of Christ [De Imitatione Christi], Book 1, ch. 12, v. 1 (1.12.1) (c. 1418-27) [tr. Sherley-Price (1952)]
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(Source (Latin)). Alternate translations:

It is good also that we suffer sometime contradiction, and that we be holden of others as evil, and wretched, and sinful, though we do well and intend well: for such things help us to meekness and mightily defend us from vain-glory and pride. We take God the better to be our judge and witness, when we be outwardly despised in the world, and the world judgeth not well of us.
[tr. Whitford/Raynal (1530/1871)]

It also is good that we sometimes suffer contradiction, and that we be thought of by others as evil and wretched and sinful, though we do well and intend well; such things help us to humility, and mightily defend us from vainglory and pride. We take God better to be our judge and witness when we are outwardly despised in the world and the world does not judge well of us.
[tr. Whitford/Gardiner (1530/1955)]

It is good for us sometimes to be crossed and contradicted, yea to be ill spoken of, and ill thought of, although we both doe and mean well. These wonderfully increase in us the vertue of humility, and strongly beat downe in us the vice of vain-glory. For then we more earnestly call God to witnesse in us and for us, when men abroad dis-esteeme us and give no credit unto us.
[tr. Page (1639), 1.3.3-5]

The Injuries and contumelious Usage, the Calumnies and Censures of them who speak and think ill of us, bring their Profit with them too; even when most wrongful, most undeserved. For these oftentimes are an occasion of rectifying our Measures, as bringing us to a juster and more modest Opinion of our selves: They cure our Ambition and Vain-glory, and convince us how vain a thing it is, to thrill after Reputation and the Praise of Men, when even Innocence and Goodness cannot protect us from Slander and Reproaches. They teach us to set a due Value upon the Testimony of our own Consciences, and the righteous Approbation of God, the Searcher of Hearts; when that which he will not fail to commend and reward, cannot escape the Contempt and Condemnation of the World, nor prevail for so much as fair Quarter, from our mistaken and injurious Brethren.
[tr. Stanhope (1696; 1706 ed.)]

It is good for him also to meet with contradiction and reproach; and to be evil thought of, and evil spoken of, even when his intentions are upright, and his actions blameless; for this keeps him humble, and is a powerful antidote to the poison of vain glory: then chiefly it is, that we have recourse to the witness within us, which is God; when we are outwardly despised, and held in no degree of esteem and favor among men.
[tr. Payne (1803)]

It is good that we be sometimes contradicted; and that there be an evil or a lessening conceit had of us; and this, although we do and intend well. These things help often to the attaining of humility, and defend us from vain glory: for then we chiefly seek God for our inward witness, when outwardly we be contemned by men, and when there is no credit given unto us.
[ed. Parker (1841)]

It is good for us also to meet with contradiction and reproach; and to be evil thought of, and evil spoken of; even when our intentions are upright, and our actions blameless; for this keeps us humble, and is a powerful antidote to the poison of vain glory. Then chiefly it is, that we have recourse to the witness within us, which is GOD; when we are outwardly despised, and held in no esteem and favor among men.
[tr. Dibdin (1851)]

It is good that we sometimes suffer contradictions, and that men have an evil or imperfect opinion of us, even when we do and intend well. These things are often helps to humility, and defend us from vain glory. For we then better seek God as our inward witness, when outwardly we are despised by men, and little credit is given to us.
[ed. Bagster (1860)]

It is good that we sometimes endure contradictions, and are hardly and unfairly judged, when we do and mean what is good. For these things help us to be humble, and shield us from vain-glory. For then we seek the more earnestly the witness of God, when men speak evil of us falsely, and give us no credit for good.
[tr. Benham (1874)]

It is good that we be sometimes contradicted, and this, although we do and intend well. These things help often to the attaining of humility, and defend us from vain glory: for then we are more inclined to seek God for our inward witness.
[tr. Anon. (1901)]

It is good for us sometimes to suffer contradiction, to be misjudged by men even though we do well and mean well. These things help us to be humble and shield us from vainglory. When to all outward appearances men give us no credit, when they do not think well of us, then we are more inclined to seek God Who sees our hearts.
[tr. Croft/Bolton (1940)]

It is good for us sometimes to endure contradictions, and to be thought of as bad or imperfect, even when we do and mean well. Such things often help towards meekness, and protect us from idle boasting. For then we look to God, the better inward witness, when we are disparaged from without by men, and no good is credited to us.
[tr. Daplyn (1952)]

It's good for you sometimes to hear men's voices raised against you, and to find that you are making a bad impression, or at least a false impression, on others, even when you are doing your best, and with the best intentions. It often makes for humility; prevents you from having too good an opinion of yourself. It's when we make a bad surface impression, and people are ready to think ill of us, that we learn to fall back upon God's judgements, because he witnesses all our actions from within.
[tr. Knox-Oakley (1959)]

It is a good thing that we are maligned now and again, and are misjudged and disliked even when we mean and do well. This sort of thing is often a great help in achieving humility, and it keeps us from groundless self-satisfaction; for we are more ready to listen for God’s assuring voice within, when those around believe the worst of us and treat us with contempt
[tr. Knott (1962)]

It is good too that we should be contradicted and ill-thought of, even when we act with the best intentions. Experiences like these help us towards humility and guard us against vainglory. When outwardly we are slandered and ill-thought of, then we will yearn more anxiously for God’s inward witness.
[tr. Rooney (1979)]

Sometimes it is good that we put up with people speaking against us, and sometimes it is good that we be thought of as bad and flawed, even when we do good things and have good intentions. Such troubles are often aids to humility, and they protect us from pride. Indeed, we are sometimes better seeking God when people have nothing but bad things to say about us and when they refuse to give us credit for the good things we have done!
[tr. Creasy (1989)]

 
Added on 1-Jul-13 | Last updated 28-Sep-23
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‘Yes, sir,’ said Jeeves in a low, cold voice, as if he had been bitten in the leg by a personal friend.

P. G. Wodehouse (1881-1975) Anglo-American humorist, playwright and lyricist [Pelham Grenville Wodehouse]
Carry On, Jeeves (1925)
 
Added on 1-Jul-09 | Last updated 5-Sep-19
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It was a cold, disapproving gaze, such as a fastidious luncher who was not fond of caterpillars might have directed at one which he had discovered in his portion of salad …

P. G. Wodehouse (1881-1975) Anglo-American humorist, playwright and lyricist [Pelham Grenville Wodehouse]
The Adventures of Sally (1922)
 
Added on 15-Jun-09 | Last updated 5-Sep-19
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Miss Manners’ meager arsenal consists only of the withering look, the insistent and repeated request, the cold voice, the report up the chain of command, and the tilted nose. Also the ability to dismiss inferior behavior from her mind as coming from inferior people. You will perhaps point out that she will never know the joy of delivering a well-deserved sock in the chops. True — but she will never inspire one either.

Judith Martin (b. 1938) American author, journalist, etiquette expert [a.k.a. Miss Manners]
“Miss Manners,” syndicated column (1980-05-08)
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Added on 1-Feb-04 | Last updated 9-May-23
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