A bitter-tongued parent cannot teach respect for facts. Truth for its own sake can be a deadly weapon in family relations. Truth without compassion can destroy love. Some parents try too hard to prove exactly how, where and why they have been right. This approach will bring bitterness and disappointment. When attitudes are hostile, facts are unconvincing.
Haim Ginott (1922-1973) Israeli-American school teacher, child psychologist, psychotherapist [b. Haim Ginzburg]
Between Parent and Teenager, ch. 2 “Rebellion and Response” (1969)
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Sometimes mis-cited to the earlier Between Parent and Child (1965).
Quotations about:
hostility
Note not all quotations have been tagged, so Search may find additional quotes on this topic.
Modern wars are seldom fought without hatred between nations; this serves as a more or less substitute for the hatred between individuals. Even when there is no natural hatred and no animosity to start with, the fighting itself will stir up hostile feelings: violence committed on superior orders will stir up the desire for revenge and retaliation against the perpetrator rather than against the powers that ordered the action. It is only human (or animal, if you like), but it is a fact.
[Der Nationalhaß, an dem es auch bei unseren Kriegen selten fehlt, vertritt bei dem einzelnen gegen den einzelnen mehr oder weniger stark die individuelle Feindschaft. Wo aber auch dieser fehlt und anfangs keine Erbitterung war, entzündet sich das feindselige Gefühl an dem Kampfe selbst, denn eine Gewaltsamkeit, die jemand auf höhere Weisung an uns verübt, wird uns zur Vergeltung und Rache gegen ihn entflammen, früher noch, ehe wir es gegen die höhere Gewalt sein werden, die ihm gebietet, so zu handeln. Dies ist menschlich oder auch tierisch, wenn man will, aber es ist so.]
Karl von Clausewitz (1780-1831) Prussian soldier, historian, military theorist
On War [Vom Kriege], Book 2, ch. 2 “On the Theory of War [Über die Theorie des Krieges],” § 17 (2.2.17) (1832) [tr. Howard & Paret (1976)]
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(Source (German)). Alternate translations:
National hatred, which is seldom wanting in our wars, is a substitute for personal hostility in the breast of individual opposed to individual. But where this also is wanting, and at first no animosity of feeling subsisted, a hostile feeling is kindled by the combat itself; for an act of violence which any one commits upon us by order of his superior, will excite in us a desire to retaliate and be revenged on him, sooner than on the superior power at whose command the act was done. This is human, or animal if we will; still it is so.
[tr. Graham (1873)]
National hatred, which is seldom lacking in our wars, becomes a more or less powerful substitute for personal hostility of individual against individual. But where this also is wanting, and, at first, no animosity existed, a hostile feeling is kindled by the combat itself. An act of violence which anyone commits upon us by order of his superior will excite in us the desire to retaliate and be revenged on him sooner than on the superior power at whose command the act was done. This is human -- animal, if you will -- but it is a fact.
[tr. Jolles (1943)]
“Honesty” without compassion and understanding is not honesty, but subtle hostility.
Rose N. Franzblau (1930-1978) Austrian-American psychologist, author, columnist
Column, New York Post (1966)
Bragging is not merely designed to impress. Bragging is designed to produce envy and assert superiority. It is, therefore, an act of hostility. Bragging is also a transparent ploy. It reveals your lack of self-confidence. “I am not enough,” you feel. So you resort to showering me with your “achievements,” in order to mask your perceived deficiencies.
Aaron Hass (contemp.) American clinical psychiatrist, academic, author
Doing the Right Thing: Cultivating Your Moral Intelligence, Sec. 1, ch. 7 “Self-Control” (1998)
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Institutions like to continue doing what they have been doing, always on a grander scale, if possible. When old enemies disappear, mellow, or turn into allies, as frequently happens in international relations, new enemies must be found and new threats must be discovered. The failure to replenish the supply of enemies is the supreme threat facing any national security bureaucracy.
Richard J. Barnet (1929-2004) American scholar, writer, activist
Roots of War, 5.1 (1971)
We have no reason to harbor any mistrust against our world, for it is not against us. If it has terrors, they are our terrors; if it has abysses, these abysses belong to us; if there are dangers, we must try to love them. And if only we arrange our life in accordance with the principle which tells us that we must always trust in the difficult, then what now appears to us as the most alien will become our most intimate and trusted experience. How could we forget those ancient myths that stand at the beginning of all races, the myths about dragons that at the last moment are transformed into princesses? Perhaps all the dragons in our lives are princesses who are only waiting to see us act, just once, with beauty and courage. Perhaps everything that frightens us is, in its deepest essence, something helpless that wants our love.
Rainer Maria Rilke (1875-1963) German poet
Letters to a Young Poet, Letter 8, 12 Aug 1904 (1929)
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