DEAR MISS MANNERS: Is it ever possible to be too polite?
GENTLE READER: When politeness is used to show up other people, it is reclassified as rudeness. Thus it is technically impossible to be too polite.
Judith Martin (b. 1938) American author, journalist, etiquette expert [a.k.a. Miss Manners]
Miss Manners Rescues Civilization, ch. 13 “Tradition Moves Ahead” (1996)
(Source)
"Miss Manners's Parting Shot." Concluding words of the book.
Quotations about:
passive-aggressive
Note not all quotations have been tagged, so Search may find additional quotes on this topic.
It was one of the rules which above all others made Doctr. Franklin the most amiable of men in society, “never to contradict any body.” if he was urged to announce an opinion, he did it rather by asking questions, as if for information, or by suggesting doubts.
Thomas Jefferson (1743-1826) American political philosopher, polymath, statesman, US President (1801-09)
Letter (1808-11-24) to Thomas Jefferson Randolph
(Source)
Referring to Benjamin Franklin.
Etiquette is a set of rules people use so they can be rude to each other in public.
“Honesty” without compassion and understanding is not honesty, but subtle hostility.
Rose N. Franzblau (1930-1978) Austrian-American psychologist, author, columnist
Column, New York Post (1966)
I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
Mark Twain (1835-1910) American writer [pseud. of Samuel Clemens]
(Misattributed)
This appears to have originally been based on a comment by lawyer and jurist Ebenezer Rockwood Hoar in 1884 regarding the death of abolitionist figure Wendell Phillips. In retelling it has been attributed to (and targeted at) a variety of people. It was not attached to Twain until 1938, and the connection was widely popularized by a reference from columnist Walter Winchell (1946), and by Hal Holbrook's one-man show, Mark Twain Tonight (1954).
For more discussion of this quotation's origins, see Quote Origin: I Did Not Attend the Funeral, But I Sent a Nice Letter Saying I Approved of It – Quote Investigator®.
