If you tell children that they ought to be affectionate, you run the risk of producing cant and humbug. But if you make them happy and free, if you surround them with kindness, you will find that they become spontaneously friendly with everybody, and that almost everybody responds by being friendly with them. A trustful affectionate disposition justifies itself, because it gives irresistible charm, and creates the response which it expects. This is one of the most important results to be expected from the right education of character.
Bertrand Russell (1872-1970) English mathematician and philosopher
Education and the Good Life, Part 2, ch. 11 “Affection and Sympathy” (1926)
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Quotations about:
kindness
Note not all quotations have been tagged, so Search may find additional quotes on this topic.
Kindness is invincible, if it be sincere and not hypocritical or a mere facade. For what can the most insulting of people do to you if you are consistently kind to him, and, when the occasion allows, gently advise him and quietly put him on the proper course at the very time when he is attempting to do you a mischief. “No, my son, we were born for something other than this; it is not I who am harmed, it is you, my son, who are causing harm to yourself.”
[τὸ εὐμενὲς ἀνίκητον, ἐὰν γνήσιον ᾖ καὶ μὴ σεσηρὸς μηδὲ ὑπόκρισις. τί γάρ σοι ποιήσει ὁ ὑβριστικώτατος, ἐὰν διατελῇς εὐμενὴς αὐτῷ καί, εἰ οὕτως ἔτυχε, πρᾴως παραινῇς καὶ μεταδιδάσκῃς εὐσχολῶν παῤ αὐτὸν ἐκεῖνον τὸν καιρὸν ὅτε κακοποιεῖν σε ἐπιχειρεῖ: ῾μή, τέκνον: πρὸς ἄλλο πεφύκαμεν. ἐγὼ μὲν οὐ μὴ βλαβῶ, σὺ δὲ βλάπτῃ, τέκνον.᾿]
Marcus Aurelius (AD 121-180) Roman emperor (161-180), Stoic philosopher
Meditations [To Himself; Τὰ εἰς ἑαυτόν], Book 11, ch. 18 (11.18) (AD 161-180) [tr. Hard (1997 ed.)]
(Source)
Marcus' 9th point to remember when aggravated by another's actions. Graves comments, "The good Emperor, I am afraid, had too good an opinion of human nature in general."
Hard uses the same translation in their 2011 edition.
(Source (Greek)). Alternate translations:Meekness is a thing unconquerable, if it be true and natural, and not affected or hypocritical. For how shall even the most fierce and malicious that thou shalt conceive, be able to hold on against thee, if thou shalt still continue meek and loving unto him; and that even at that time, when he is about to do thee wrong, thou shalt be well disposed, and in good temper, with all meekness to teach him, and to instruct him better? As for example; My son, we were not born for this, to hurt and annoy one another; it will be thy hurt not mine, my son.
[tr. Casaubon (1634)]Gentleness and Good Humour are invincible, provided they are of the right Stamp, without any thing of Hypocrisy, or Grimace. This is the way to Disarm the most Barbarous, and Savage: A constancy in Obliging Behaviour, will make the most Outragious Person asham'd of his Malice : The worst Body imaginable can't find in his heart to do you any Mischief, if you continue kind and unmov'd under ill Usage, if you strike in with the right opportunity for Advice; If when he is going to do you an ill Turn, you endeavour to recover his Understanding, and retrieve his Temper in such gentle Language as this. Prethee Child be quiet, Men were never made to worry one another; In earnest if you go on, my dear Friend, you'l have the worst on't; As for my part, I'm proof against every Thing, but my own Folly.
[tr. Collier (1701)]Meekness is invincible, where it is genuine, and sincere without hypocrisy. For, what can the most insolent do to you, if you steadfastly persist in kindness to him, and, upon occasion, mildly admonish and instruct him thus, at the very time he is attempting to do you an injury? “Don’t do so, my son! Nature formed us for a quite different conduct. You cannot hurt me; you hurt yourself, my son!”
[tr. Hutcheson/Moor (1742)]Consider that benevolence is invincible, if it be genuine, without affectation or hypocrisy. For what can the most brutishly injurious person do to you, if you persevere in your kindness to them, and when an opportunity offers, tenderly admonish him, and at the very time when he is going to do you an injury, thus calmly instruct him: "Forbear, my son, we were formed by nature for quite a different purpose; you cannot injure me, but you hurt yourself my son."
[tr. Graves (1792)]Consider that a good disposition is invincible if it be genuine, and not an affected smile and acting a part. For what will the most violent man do to thee, if thou continuest to be of a kind disposition towards him, and if, as opportunity offers, thou gently admonishest him and calmly correctest his errors at the very time when he is trying to do thee harm, saying, Not so, my child: we are constituted by nature for something else: I shall certainly not be injured, but thou art injuring thyself, my child.
[tr. Long (1862)]Gentleness is invincible, provided it is of the right stamp, without anything of hypocrisy or malice. This is the way to disarm the most insolent, if you continue kind and unmoved under ill usage, if you strike in with the right opportunity for advice. If when he is going to do you an ill turn you endeavour to recover his undertsanding, and retrieve his temper by such language as this: I pray you, child, be quiet, men were never made to worry one another. I shall not be injured, but you are injuring yourself, child.
[tr. Collier/Zimmern (1887)]Kindness is invincible if only it is honest, not fawning or insincere. What can the most aggressive do, if you keep persistently kind, and as ocasion offers gently remonstrate, and seize the moment when he is bent on mischief, for trying quietly to convert him to a better frame of mind. "Not so, my son, we are made for other ends; you cannot hurt me, you hurt yourself, my son."
[tr. Rendall (1898)]Meekness is invincible if it be genuine, without simper or hypocrisy. For what can the most insolent of men do to you, if you persist in civility towards him; and, if occasion offers, admonish him gently and deliberately, shew him the better way at the very moment that he is endeavouring to harm you? “Nay, my son; we were born for something better. No hurt can come to me; it is yourself you hurt, my son.”
[tr. Hutcheson/Chrystal (1902)]Kindness is irresistible, be it but sincere and no mock smile or a mask assumed. For what can the most unconscionable of men do to thee, if thou persist in being kindly to him, and when a chance is given exhort him mildly and, at the very time when he is trying to do thee harm, quietly teach him a better way thus: Nay, my child, we have been made for other things. I shall be in no wise harmed, but thou art harming thyself, my child.
[tr. Haines (Loeb) (1916)]Gentleness is invincible, if it be genuine and not sneering or hypocritical. For what can the most insolent do to you, if you continue gentle to him, and, if opportunity allows, mildly admonish him and quietly show him a better way at the very moment when he attempts to do you injury: "No, my child; we came into the world for other ends. It is not I that am harmed, but you are harmed, my child."
[tr. Farquharson (1944)]Kindness is irresistible, so long as it be genuine and without false smiles or duplicity. The most consummate impudence can do nothing, if you remain persistently kind to the offender, give him a gentle word of admonition when opportunity offers, and at the moment when he is about to vent his malice upon you bring him round quietly with "No, my son; it was not for this that we were made. I shall not be hurt; it is yourself you are hurting."
[tr. Staniforth (1964)]Kindness is invincible, provided it’s sincere -- not ironic or an act. What can even the most vicious person do if you keep treating him with kindness and gently set him straight -- if you get the chance -- correcting him cheerfully at the exact moment that he’s trying to do you harm. "No, no, my friend. That isn’t what we’re here for. It isn’t me who’s harmed by that. It’s you."
[tr. Hays (2003)]Kindness is invincible — if it is sincere, not fawning or pretense. What can the most aggressive man do to you if you continue to be kind to him? If, as opportunity arises, you gently admonish him and take your time to re-educate him at the very moment when he is trying to do you harm? "No, son, we were born for other purposes than this. There is no way that I can be harmed, but you are harming yourself, son."
[tr. Hammond (2006)]Kindness is unconquerable, so long as it is without flattery or hypocrisy. For what can the most insolent man do to you, if you continue to be kind to him and, if you have the chance, gently advise and calmly show him what is right at the very moment he is trying to harm you, saying: "No, my son. We were born for something else. I am certainly not harmed, but you bring harm to yourself?"
[tr. Needleman/Piazza (2008)]
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against things like this.
[Ὁ δὲ καρπὸς τοῦ πνεύματός ἐστιν ἀγάπη χαρὰ εἰρήνη, μακροθυμία χρηστότης ἀγαθωσύνη, πίστις πραΰτης ἐγκράτεια· κατὰ τῶν τοιούτων οὐκ ἔστιν νόμος.]
The Bible (The New Testament) (AD 1st - 2nd C) Christian sacred scripture
Galatians 5: 22-23 [CEB (2011)]
(Source)
(Source (Greek)). Alternate translations:But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.
[KJV (1611)]What the Spirit brings is very different: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, trustfulness, gentleness and self-control. There can be no law against things like that, of course.
[JB (1966)]On the other hand the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, trustfulness, gentleness and self-control; no law can touch such things as these.
[NJB (1985)]But the Spirit produces love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, humility, and self-control. There is no law against such things as these.
[GNT (1992 ed.)]By contrast, the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against such things.
[NRSV (2021 ed.)]
Have the same concern for everyone. Do not be proud, but accept humble duties. Do not think of yourselves as wise. If someone has done you wrong, do not repay him with a wrong. Try to do what everyone considers to be good. Do everything possible on your part to live in peace with everybody.
[τὸ αὐτὸ εἰς ἀλλήλους φρονοῦντες, μὴ τὰ ὑψηλὰ φρονοῦντες ἀλλὰ τοῖς ταπεινοῖς συναπαγόμενοι. μὴ γίνεσθε φρόνιμοι παρ᾽ ἑαυτοῖς. μηδενὶ κακὸν ἀντὶ κακοῦ ἀποδιδόντες, προνοούμενοι καλὰ ἐνώπιον πάντων ἀνθρώπων· εἰ δυνατὸν τὸ ἐξ ὑμῶν, μετὰ πάντων ἀνθρώπων εἰρηνεύοντες·]
The Bible (The New Testament) (AD 1st - 2nd C) Christian sacred scripture
Romans 12: 16-18 [GNT (1992 ed.)]
(Source)
(Source (Greek)). Alternate translations:Be of the same mind one toward another. Mind not high things, but condescend to men of low estate. Be not wise in your own conceits. Recompense to no man evil for evil. Provide things honest in the sight of all men. If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men.
[KJV (1611)]Treat everyone with equal kindness; never be condescending but make real friends with the poor. Do not allow yourself to become self-satisfied. Never repay evil with evil but let everyone see that you are interested only in the highest ideals. Do all you can to live at peace with everyone.
[JB (1966)]Give the same consideration to all others alike. Pay no regard to social standing, but meet humble people on their own terms. Do not congratulate yourself on your own wisdom. Never pay back evil with evil, but bear in mind the ideals that all regard with respect. As much as possible, and to the utmost of your ability, be at peace with everyone.
[NJB (1985)]Consider everyone as equal, and don’t think that you’re better than anyone else. Instead, associate with people who have no status. Don’t think that you’re so smart. Don’t pay back anyone for their evil actions with evil actions, but show respect for what everyone else believes is good. If possible, to the best of your ability, live at peace with all people.
[CEB (2011)]Live in harmony with one another; do not be arrogant, but associate with the lowly; do not claim to be wiser than you are. Do not repay anyone evil for evil, but take thought for what is noble in the sight of all. If it is possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.
[NRSV (2021 ed.)]
Tough and funny and a little bit kind: that is as near to perfection as a human being can be.
Mignon McLaughlin (1913-1983) American journalist and author
The Second Neurotic’s Notebook, ch. 4 (1966)
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It’s a bit embarrassing to have been concerned with the human problem all one’s life and find at the end that one has no more to offer by way of advice than “Try to be a little kinder.”
Aldous Huxley (1894-1963) English novelist, essayist and critic
(Attributed)
(Source)
Quoted in Huston Smith, "Aldous Huxley -- A Tribute," The Psychedelic Review, Vol. 1, No. 3 (1964) (the Aldous Huxley Memorial Issue).
A variant is in Laura Huxley's biography of her husband, This Timeless Moment: A Personal View of Aldous Huxley, "One Never Loves Enough" (1968). She identified it as coming from a "public talk" not long before his death:It is a little embarrassing that, after forty-five years of research and study, the best advice I can give to people is to be a little kinder to each other.
In a word, there is only one thing here worth the minding, and that is, to be true and just, and to show benevolence, even to the untrue and unjust.
[Ἓν ὧδε πολλοῦ ἄξιον, τὸ μετ᾿ ἀληθείας καὶ δικαιοσύνης εὐμενῆ τοῖς ψεύσταις καὶ ἀδίκοις διαβιοῦν.]
Marcus Aurelius (AD 121-180) Roman emperor (161-180), Stoic philosopher
Meditations [To Himself; Τὰ εἰς ἑαυτόν], Book 6, ch. 47 (6.47) (AD 161-180) [tr. Collier/Zimmern (1887)]
(Source)
(Source (Greek)). Alternate translations:One thing there is, and that only, which is worth our while in this world, and ought by us much to be esteemed; and that is, according to truth and righteousness, meekly and lovingly to converse with false, and unrighteous men.
[tr. Casaubon (1634), 6.42]In a word. There's only one thing here worth the minding; And that is, not to imitate the Degeneracy of Mortals: But to be True, Honest, and Good-natur'd, even amongst Knaves, and Sharpers.
[tr. Collier (1701)]The one thing valuable in this life, is, to spend it in a steady course of truth, justice, and humanity, toward even the false and unjust.
[tr. Hutcheson/Moor (1742)]In short, there is nothing here much worth our attention, but to act on all occasions with a regard to truth and justice, and to live peaceably even with those who act with fraud and injustice.
[tr. Graves (1792), 6.41]One thing here is worth a great deal, to pass thy life in truth and justice, with a benevolent disposition even to liars and unjust men.
[tr. Long (1862)]Here one thing is of real worth, to live out life in truth and justice, with charity even to the false and the unjust.
[tr. Rendall (1898)]The one precious thing in life is to spend it in a steady course of truth and justice, with kindliness even for the false and the unjust.
[tr. Hutcheson/Chrystal (1902)]One thing on earth is worth much -- to live out our lives in truth and justice, and in charity with liars and unjust men.
[tr. Haines (Loeb) (1916)]One thing here is of great price, to live out life with truth and righteousness, gracious to liars and to the unrighteous.
[tr. Farquharson (1944)]In this life one thing only is of precious worth: to live out one's days in truthfulness and fair dealing, and in charity even with the false and unjust.
[tr. Staniforth (1964)]In this world there is only one thing of real value, to pass our days in truth and justice, and yet be gracious to those who are false and unjust.
[tr. Hard (1997 ed.)]The only thing that isn’t worthless: to live this life out truthfully and rightly. And be patient with those who don't.
[tr. Hays (2003)]In this world there is only one thing of value, to live out your life in truth and justice, tolerant of those who are neither true nor just.
[tr. Hammond (2006)]In this world there is only one thing of real value, to pass our days in truth and justice, and yet be gracious to those who are false and unjust.
[tr. Hard (2011 ed.)]So there is one thing that is of most value: to live out your life in truth and justice and be kind to those who are false and unjust.
[tr. Gill (2013)]So one thing is worth much: to keep on living with truth and justice and in good will even among liars and unjust men.
[tr. @sentantiq (2019)]
Honesty is a virtue, but not the only one. If you’re in a courtroom, you need the whole truth and nothing but the truth; in the living room, sometimes you need anything but. Often.
Judith Martin (b. 1938) American author, journalist, etiquette expert [a.k.a. Miss Manners]
Essay (1996-03/04), Modern Maturity magazine
Be mersiphull to all the dum animals — no man can ride into heaven, on a sore-backed horse.
[Be merciful to all the dumb animals — no man can ride into heaven on a sore-backed horse.]
Josh Billings (1818-1885) American humorist, aphorist [pseud. of Henry Wheeler Shaw]
Josh Billings’ Trump Kards, ch. 11 “The Mermaid” (1874)
(Source)
Madame de Tencin was gentle-mannered but quite unscrupulous, capable of absolutely anything. On one occasion people were praising the gentleness of her nature. “Yes,” an abbé commented, “if it was in her interest to poison you, I’m sure she’d choose the pleasantest poison possible.”
[Mme de Tencin, avec des manières douces, était une femme sans principes et capable de tout, exactement. Un jour, on louait sa douceur: «Oui, dit l’abbé Trublet, si elle eût eu intérêt de vous empoisonner, elle eût choisi le poison le plus doux.»]Nicolas Chamfort (1741-1794) French writer, epigrammist (b. Nicolas-Sébastien Roch)
Products of Perfected Civilization [Produits de la Civilisation Perfectionnée], Part 2 “Characters and Anecdotes [Caractères et Anecdotes],” ¶ 662 (1795) [tr. Parmée (2003), ¶ 455]
(Source)
(Source (French)). Alternate translations:When some one was one day vaunting the affability and softness of manner of Madame de Tencin, the Abbé Trublet replied, "Yes, if it was her interest to poison you she would select the sweetest poison for the purpose."
[tr. Blessington (c. 1869)]Madame de Tencin, with the suavest manners in the world, was an unprincipled woman, capable of anything. On one occasion, a friend was praising her gentleness. "Aye, aye," said the Abbé Imblet, "if she had any object whatever in poisoning you, undoubtedly she would choose the sweetest and least disagreeable poison in the world."
[tr. Mathews (1878)]Madame de Tencin, whose manners were of the sweetest, was a woman of no principles, and capable of anything, precisely. One day someone was extolling her sweetness. "Yes," said the Abbé Trublet, {if she stood to profit by poisoning you, she would choose the sweetest possible poison."
[tr. Merwin (1969)]Mme de Tencin, with the sweetest manners, was a woman without principles and was capable of everything, to be exact. One day someone praised her sweetness: "Yes," said the abbé Trublet, "if she decided to poison you, she would choose the sweetest poison possible."
[tr. Siniscalchi (1994), ¶ 662]
To be honest, to be kind — to earn a little and to spend a little less, to make upon the whole a family happier for his presence, to renounce when that shall be necessary and not be embittered, to keep a few friends, but these without capitulation — above all, on the same grim condition, to keep friends with himself — here is a task for all that a man has of fortitude and delicacy. He has an ambitious soul who would ask more; he has a hopeful spirit who should look in such an enterprise to be successful.
Robert Louis Stevenson (1850-1894) Scottish essayist, novelist, poet
Essay (1888-12), “A Christmas Sermon,” sec. 1, Scribner’s Magazine, Vol. 4
(Source)
Originally written in the winter of 1887-88. Collected in Across the Plains, ch. 12 (1892).
In its natural state, the child tells the literal truth because it is too naive to think of anything else. Blurting out the complete truth is considered adorable in the young, right smack up to the moment that the child says, “Mommy, is this the fat lady you can’t stand?” At this point, the parent rightly senses the need to explain kindness.
Judith Martin (b. 1938) American author, journalist, etiquette expert [a.k.a. Miss Manners]
Miss Manners’ Guide to Rearing Perfect Children, ch. 8 “Extra Credit,” “Ethics” (1984)
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Kindness is not a bad religion, no matter what name you use for God.
Barbara Brown Taylor (b. 1951) American minister, academic, author
An Altar in the World, ch. 7 (2009)
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Incline us oh God! to think humbly of ourselves, to be severe only in the examination of our own conduct, to consider our fellow-creatures with kindness, and to judge of all they say and do with that charity which we would desire from them ourselves.
Jane Austen (1775-1817) English author
Prayer 3 “Another Day Now Gone”
(Source)
On e of three surviving prayers Austen wrote. More discussion: Exploring Jane Austen’s Prayers | Jane Austen's World.
Love should be the vestal fire of some mighty temple — some vast dim fane whose organ music is the rolling of the spheres. Affection will burn cheerily when the white flame of love is flickered out. Affection is a fire that can be fed from day to day, and be piled up ever higher as the winter years draw nigh. Old men and women can sit by it with their thin hands clasped, the little children can nestle down in front, the friend and neighbour has his welcome corner by its side, and even shaggy Fido and sleek Titty can toast their noses at the bars.
Let us heap the coals of kindness upon that fire. Throw on your pleasant words, your gentle pressures of the hand, your thoughtful and unselfish deeds. Fan it with good humour, patience, and forbearance. You can let the wind blow and the rain fall unheeded then, for your hearth will be warm and bright, and the faces round it will make sunshine in spite of the clouds without.Jerome K. Jerome (1859-1927) English writer, humorist [Jerome Klapka Jerome]
Idle Thoughts of an Idle Fellow, “On Being in Love” (1886)
(Source)
It is the head that governs men. A kind heart is of no use in a chess game.
[On gouverne les hommes avec la tête. On ne joue pas aux échecs avec un bon cœur.]
Nicolas Chamfort (1741-1794) French writer, epigrammist (b. Nicolas-Sébastien Roch)
Products of Perfected Civilization [Produits de la Civilisation Perfectionée], Part 1 “Maxims and Thoughts [Maximes et Pensées],” ch. 8, ¶ 522 (1795) [tr. Merwin (1969)]
(Source)
(Source (French)). Alternate translations:People are governed with the head; kindness of heart is little use in chess.
[tr. Mathers (1926)]Men are governed using the head. A kind heart is useless in a chess game.
[tr. Dusinberre (1992)]A person governs men with his head. One does not play chess with goodness of heart.
[tr. Siniscalchi (1994), ¶ 521]
I hope you will have a wonderful year, that you’ll dream dangerously and outrageously, that you’ll make something that didn’t exist before you made it, that you will be loved and that you will be liked, and that you will have people to love and to like in return. And, most importantly (because I think there should be more kindness and more wisdom in the world right now), that you will, when you need to be, be wise, and that you will always be kind.
Neil Gaiman (b. 1960) British author, screenwriter, fabulist
Blog entry (2008-12-31), “Another Year”
(Source)
For all you can hold in your cold dead hand
Is what you have given away.Joaquin Miller (1837-1913) American poet [pen name of Cincinnatus Heine (or Hiner) Miller]
“Peter Cooper (Died 1883),” ll. 11-12, In Classic Shades and Other Poems (1890)
(Source)
This phrasing of the sentiment seems to have been made by Miller, but the sentiment itself predates him in various ways. See, for example, Martial, Epigram 5.42 (AD 90): "You keep thus always what you gave."
Edward Gibbon, in his Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire,, ch. 61 (1776), notes the epitaph of 15th Century Earl Edward Courtenay of Devonshire:What we gave, we have;
What we spent, we had;
What we left, we lost.
Miller was himself quoted by Edwin M. Poteat, President of Furman University, in his poem "What You Have Given Away" (1909). Poteat put the phrase in quotation marks, but is sometimes still given full credit.
Elbert Hubbard may have been borrowing from Miller in his Little Journeys to the Homes of the Great, Vol. 12 "Great Scientists," "Haeckel" (collected in 1916, but published earlier), where he writes:We keep things by giving them to others. The dead carry in their clenched hands only that which they have given away; and the living carry only the love in their hearts which they have bestowed on others.
Finally, often in the variant form "All we can hold in our cold dead hands is what we have given away," the phrase is today often identified as a Sanskrit proverb. The universality of thought means it may well have an ancient Indian inspiration, but the language may indicate a tie to Miller's poem, as promulgated. The "Sanscrit proverb" appears as such in Hoyt's New Cyclopedia of Practical Quotations (1922), but not in the 1896 edition. This may be taken from a letter to the editor, New York Times (1908-07-25) by Emily Noble, identifying this as the translation of a Sanskrit proverb.
Thy Godlike crime was to be kind,
To render with thy precepts less
The sum of human wretchedness,
And strengthen Man with his own mind.
Tact is not one thing only. It is a number of qualities working together: insight into the nature of men, sympathy, self-control, a knack of inducing self-control in others, avoidance of human blundering, readiness to give the immediate situation an understanding mind and a second thought. Tact is not only kindness, but kindness skillfully extended.
He shall come to know
Dionysus, son of Zeus, consummate god,
most terrible, and yet most gentle, to mankind.[γνώσεται δὲ τὸν Διὸς
Διόνυσον, ὃς πέφυκεν ἐν τέλει θεός,
δεινότατος, ἀνθρώποισι δ᾽ ἠπιώτατος.]Euripides (485?-406? BC) Greek tragic dramatist
Bacchæ [Βάκχαι], l. 859ff [Dionysus/Διόνυσος] (405 BC) [tr. Arrowsmith (1960)]
(Source)
Speaking of King Pentheus. (Source (Greek)). Alternate translations:Thus he shall know dread Bacchus, son of Jove,
A god most terrible when he asserts
His slighted power: but gracious to mankind.
[tr. Wodhull (1809)]He will recognize the son of Zeus, Dionysus, who is in fact a god, the most terrible and yet most mild to men.
[tr. Buckley (1850)]Know he must
Dionysus, son of Jove, among the gods
Mightiest, yet mildest to the sons of men.
[tr. Milman (1865)]There belike to tell
That Dionysus, son to Zeus, is god,
Most terrible, most gracious unto men.
[tr. Rogers (1872), l. 820ff]So shall he recognize Dionysus, the son of Zeus, who proves himself at last a god most terrible, for all his gentleness to man.
[tr. Coleridge (1891)]And he shall know Zeus' son
Dionysus, who hath risen at last a God
Most terrible, yet kindest unto men.
[tr. Way (1898)]So shall he learn and mark
God's true Son, Dionyse, in fulness God,
Most fearful, yet to man most soft of mood.
[tr. Murray (1902)]And he shall recognize the son of Zeus,
Dionysus, as a god in perfect essence:
a terrible one, but to men most gentle.
[tr. Kirk (1970)]And he shall know the son of Zeus, Dionysus; who, those most gentle to mankind, can prove a god of terror irresistible.
[tr. Vellacott (1973)]Consummate god, most terrible, most gentle
To mankind.
[tr. Soyinka (1973), Bacchante speaking]He shall know Zeus’ son
Dionysos, that he is in his fullness a god
most dreadful, and to men most mild.
[tr. Neuburg (1988)]So shall Pentheus come to know Dionysus, son of Zeus,
a God sprung from nature, like nature most cruel,
and, yet, most gentle to mankind.
[tr. Cacoyannis (1982)]And he'll know
Zeus-born Dionysos is a true divinity,
Most terrifying to men, and most kind.
[tr. Blessington (1993)]He will come to know Dionysus, the son of Zeus,
that he is, in the ritual of initiation, a god most terrifying,
but for mankind a god most gentle.
[tr. Esposito (1998)]Then he will know the son of Zeus,
Dionysus, and realize that he was born a god, bringing
terrors for initiation, and to the people, gentle grace.
[tr. Woodruff (1999)]And he will know that Dionysos, son
Of Zeus, was born a god in full, and is
Most terrible to mortals and most gentle.
[tr. Gibbons/Segal (2000)]He will learn that Dionysus is in the full sense a god, a god most dreadful to morals -- but also most gentle!
[tr. Kovacs (2002)]He'll learn the nature of this son of Zeus:
The sweetest and most fearsome of the gods.
[tr. Teevan (2002)]Only then will he learn that the son of Zeus, Dionysos, is a god of peace for the good folk but he is also a fearsome god who those who don’t respect him.
[tr. Theodoridis (2005)]He will recognize Zeus' son Dionysus, born in ritual,
The most terrible god -- and kindest to humans.
[tr. Valerie (2005)]He'll come to acknowledge
Dionysus, son of Zeus, born in full divinity,
most fearful, yet most kind to human beings.
[tr. Johnston (2008)]And he shall finally know Dionysus, son of Zeus,
a god both terrible and gentle to the world of man.
[tr. Robertson (2014)]He will know Dionysus. He will know the son of Zeus to be true-god-born, to be the greatest horror to mortal kind.
And the greatest helper.
[tr. Pauly (2019)]He shall learn that Dionysus is the son of Zeuis, a god with the power of a god, a god most fearful and most gentle.
[tr. Behr/Foster (2019)]And he will come to know the son of Zeus,
Dionysus, the one who is by his own nature a god in the end [telos],
the one who is most terrifying [deinos], but, for humans, also most gentle [ēpios ].
[tr. Buckley/Sens/Nagy (2020)]
But although tact is a virtue, it is very closely allied to certain vices; the line between tact and hypocrisy is a very narrow one. I think the distinction comes in the motive: when it is kindliness that makes us wish to please, our tact is the right sort; when it is fear of offending, or desire to obtain some advantage by flattery, our tact is apt to be of a less amiable kind.
Bertrand Russell (1872-1970) English mathematician and philosopher
“On Tact,” New York American (1933-02-01)
(Source)
I think we’re just communicating wrong, because, like, what I know “woke” to mean is, like, learning new things about people or the world, and then acting accordingly. Like, basic kindness. Maybe a gesture of care to people who are more vulnerable than you. You know what, actually, you wouldn’t like it. It’s Jesus stuff.
Sarah Silverman (b. 1970) American stand-up comedian, actress, writer
The Daily Show (15 Feb 2023)
(Source)
It is because gold is rare that gilding has been invented, which, without having its solidity, has all its brilliance. — Thus, to replace the kindness we lack, we have devised politeness, which has all its appearance.
[C’est parce que l’or est rare que l’on a inventé la dorure, qui, sans en avoir la solidité, en a tout le brillant. Ainsi, pour remplacer la bonté qui nous manque, nous avons imaginé la politesse, qui en a toutes les apparences.]
Pierre-Marc-Gaston de Lévis (1764-1830) French noble, politician, author, aphorist
Maximes et Essais sur Différents Sujets, “Pensées Détachées,” # 180 (1808)
(Source)
(Source (French)). Frequently misattributed to his more famous father, Francis de Gaston, first Duke de Lévis.
The full aphorism also includes a final clause, "et au défaut de vertu, nous avons l'honneur, qui en a l'éclat" ("and, in default of virtue, we have honor, which has its luster").
The French was incorporated in standard French grammar books for many years.
The English translation shows up in several cases without any attribution and in varied contexts (1, 2, 3).
Kind-hearted people might of course think there was some ingenious way to disarm or defeat the enemy without too much bloodshed, and might imagine this is the true goal of the art of war. Pleasant as it sounds, it is a fallacy that must be exposed: War is such a dangerous business that mistakes that come from kindness are the very worst.
[Nun könnten menschenfreundliche Seelen sich leicht denken, es gebe ein künstliches Entwaffnen oder Niederwerfen des Gegners, ohne zuviel Wunden zu verursachen, und das sei die wahre Tendenz der Kriegskunst. Wie gut sich das auch ausnimmt, so muß man doch diesen Irrtum zerstören, denn in so gefährlichen Dingen, wie der Krieg eins ist, sind die Irrtümer, welche aus Gutmütigkeit entstehen, gerade die schlimmsten.]
Karl von Clausewitz (1780-1831) Prussian soldier, historian, military theorist
On War [Vom Kriege], Book 1, ch. 1 “What Is War? [Was ist der Krieg?],” § 3 (1.1.3) (1832) [tr. Howard & Paret (1976)]
(Source)
(Source (German)). Alternate translations:Now, philanthropists may easily imagine there is a skilful method of disarming and overcoming an enemy without causing great bloodshed, and that this is the proper tendency of the art of War. However plausible this may appear, still it is an error which must be extirpated; for in such dangerous things as war, the errors which proceed from a spirit of benevolence are just the worst.
[tr. Graham (1873)]Now philanthropic souls might easily imagine that there was an artistic way of disarming or overthrowing our adversary without too much bloodshed and that this was what the art of war should seek to achieve. However agreeable this may sound, it is a false idea which must be demolished. In affairs so dangerous as war, false ideas proceeding from kindness of heart are precisely the worst.
[tr. Jolles (1943)]
Write Injuries in Dust, Benefits in Marble.
Benjamin Franklin (1706-1790) American statesman, scientist, philosopher, aphorist
Poor Richard’s Almanack, “August” (1747)
(Source)
As with so much else of Franklin's, this phrase is not without earlier forms, e.g.: Thomas More, History of King Richard III (1513):For men use, if they have an evil turn, to write it in marble; and whosoever does us a good turn, we write it in dust.
Or see Shakespeare, Henry VIII 4.2.45-46 (1613):Men's evil manners live in brass, their virtues
We write in water.
Variants include "but kindnesses in marble" or "but kindness in marble."
This also shows up as a French saying in various forms:
- "Ecrivez les injures sur le sable, mais les bienfaits sur le marbre."
- "Écrivez les injures sur le sable, gravez les bienfaits sur le marbre."
Call a jack a jack. Call a spade a spade. But always call a whore a lady. Their lives are hard enough, and it never hurts to be polite.
We are so much accustomed to the humanitarian outlook that we forget how little it counted in earlier ages of civilisation. Ask any decent person in England or America what he thinks matters most in human conduct: five to one his answer will be “kindness.” It’s not a word that would have crossed the lips of any of the earlier heroes of this series. If you had asked St. Francis what mattered in life, he would, we know, have answered “chastity, obedience and poverty”; if you had asked Dante or Michelangelo, they might have answered “disdain of baseness and injustice”; if you had asked Goethe, he would have said “to live in the whole and the beautiful.” But kindness, never. Our ancestors didn’t use the word, and they did not greatly value the quality — except perhaps insofar as they valued compassion.
Kenneth Clark (1903-1983) British art historian, museum director, broadcaster
Civilisation, A Personal View, ch. 13 “Heroic Materialism” (1969)
(Source)
It is compassion rather than the principle of justice which can guard us against being unjust to our fellow men.
Eric Hoffer (1902-1983) American writer, philosopher, longshoreman
Passionate State of Mind, Aphorism 140 (1955)
(Source)
For there is no more essential duty than that of returning kindness received.
[Nullum enim officium referenda gratia magis necessarium est.]
Marcus Tullius Cicero (106-43 BC) Roman orator, statesman, philosopher
De Officiis [On Duties; On Moral Duty; The Offices], Book 1, ch. 15 (1.15) / sec. 47 (44 BC) [tr. Peabody (1883)]
(Source)
(Source (Latin)). Alternate translations:For of all the virtues, there is none we are more necessarily obliged to, than gratitude.
[tr. Cockman (1699)]For there is no duty of a more necessary obligation than returning a kindness.
[tr. McCartney (1798)]For there is no duty more indispensable than that of returning a kindness.
[tr. Edmonds (1865)]For no duty is more imperative than gratitude.
[tr. Gardiner (1899)]There is no duty more obligatory than the repayment of a kindness.
[ed. Harbottle (1906)]For no duty is more imperative than that of proving one's gratitude.
[tr. Miller (1913)]No duty is more necessary than to return a favor.
[tr. Edinger (1974)]
“Honesty” without compassion and understanding is not honesty, but subtle hostility.
Rose N. Franzblau (1930-1978) Austrian-American psychologist, author, columnist
Column, New York Post (1966)
What do we live for, if it is not to make life less difficult to each other?
George Eliot (1819-1880) English novelist [pseud. of Mary Ann Evans]
Middlemarch, Book 8, ch. 72 [Dorothea] (1871)
(Source)
Democratic citizenship requires a degree of empathy, insight, and kindness that demands a great deal of all of us. There are easier ways to live.
Jason Stanley (b. 1969) American philosopher, epistemologist, academic
How Fascism Works: The Politics of Us and Them, ch. 10 (2018)
(Source)
To be kind is more important than to be right. Many times, what people need is not a brilliant mind that speaks but a special heart that listens.
F. Scott Fitzgerald (1896-1940) American writer [Francis Scott Key Fitzgerald]
(Attributed)
No actual citation found. Also often attributed (also without citation) to Menachem Mendel Schneerson.
The whole philosophy of life can be summed up in two little words: be kind.
Count heads. That is what matters in all things. When you must, follow the common taste, and make your way toward eminence. The wise should adapt themselves to the present, even when the past seems more attractive, both in the clothes of the soul and of the body. This rule for living holds for everything but goodness, for one must always practice virtue.
[El gusto de las cabeças haze voto en cada orden de cosas. Ésse se ha de seguir por entonces, y adelantar a eminencia. Acomódese el cuerdo a lo presente, aunque le parezca mejor lo pasado, así en los arreos del alma como del cuerpo. Sólo en la bondad no vale esta regla de vivir, que siempre se ha de practicar la virtud.]
Baltasar Gracián y Morales (1601-1658) Spanish Jesuit priest, writer, philosopher
The Art of Worldly Wisdom [Oráculo Manual y Arte de Prudencia], § 120 (1647) [tr. Maurer (1992)]
(Source)
(Source (Spanish)). Alternate translations:Let a prudent man accommodate himself to the present, whether as to body, or mind, though the past may even seem better unto him. In manners onely that rule is not to be observed, seeing vertue is at all times to be practised.
[Flesher ed. (1685)]In everything the taste of the many carries the votes; for the time being one must follow it in the hope of leading it to higher things. In the adornment of the body as of the mind adapt yourself to the present, even though the past appear better. But this rule does not apply to kindness, for goodness is for all time.
[tr. Jacobs (1892)]The choice of the many carries the vote in every field. For the time being, therefore, it must be bowed to, in order to bring it to higher level: the man of wisdom accommodates himself to the present, even though the past seems better, alike in the dress of his spirit, as in the dress of his body. Only in the matter of being decent does this rule of life not apply, for virtue should be practiced eternally.
[tr. Fischer (1937)]
Bless us Lord, this Christmas, with quietness of mind;
Teach us to be patient and always to be kind.Helen Steiner Rice (1900-1981) American poet, businesswoman
(Attributed)
Kindness is a language the dumb can speak and the deaf can hear and understand.
Christian Nestell Bovee (1820-1904) American epigrammatist, writer, publisher
Thoughts, Feelings, & Fancies (1857)
Slightly revised in Bovee's Intuitions & Summaries of Thought (1862): "Kindness: a language which the dumb can speak, and the deaf can understand."
Since the 2000s, frequently misattributed to Mark Twain. More information: The Apocryphal Twain: "Kindness is language the deaf can hear." - Center for Mark Twain Studies.
Now and in the time to be, try to be kind to your parents. If this sounds too close to “Honor thy mother and father” for your comfort, so be it. All I am trying to say is try not to rebel against them, for, in all likelihood, they will die before you do, so you can spare yourselves at least this source of guilt if not of grief. If you must rebel, rebel against those who are not so easily hurt. Parents are too close a target (so, by the way, are sisters, brothers, wives or husbands); the range is such that you can’t miss.
Joseph Brodsky (1940-1996) Russian-American poet, essayist, Nobel laureate, US Poet Laureate [Iosif Aleksandrovič Brodskij]
“Speech at the Stadium,” Commencement Address, University of Michigan (18 Dec 1988)
(Source)
Kindness is more important than wisdom, and the recognition of this is the beginning of wisdom.
Theodore Isaac Rubin (1923-2019) American psychiatrist and author
One to One: Understanding Personal Relationships (1983)
Errors and mistakes, however gross, in matters of opinion, if they are sincere, are to be pitied, but not punished nor laughed at. The blindness of the understanding is as much to be pitied as the blindness of the eye, and there is neither jest nor guilt in a man’s losing his way in either case. Charity bids us set him right if we can, by arguments and persuasions; but charity, at the same time, forbids, either to punish or ridicule his misfortune.
Lord Chesterfield (1694-1773) English statesman, wit [Philip Dormer Stanhope]
Letter to his son, #126 (21 Sep 1747)
(Source)
On religious tolerance.
The one and only test of a valid religious idea, doctrinal statement, spiritual experience, or devotional practice was that it must lead directly to practical compassion. If your understanding of the divine made you kinder, more empathetic, and impelled you to express this sympathy in concrete acts of loving-kindness, this was good theology. But if your notion of God made you unkind, belligerent, cruel, or self-righteous, or if it led you to kill in God’s name, it was bad theology. Compassion was the litmus test for the prophets of Israel, for the rabbis of the Talmud, for Jesus, for Paul, and for Muhammad, not to mention Confucius, Lao-tsu, the Buddha, or the sages of the Upanishads.
Karen Armstrong (b. 1944) British author, comparative religion scholar
The Spiral Staircase: My Climb Out of Darkness (2004)
(Source)
TECMESSA: Kindness gives birth to kindness.
Sophocles (496-406 BC) Greek tragic playwright
Ajax
Alt. trans.:
- "For it is always kindness which breeds kindness." [tr. Garvie (1998), ll. 522-23]
- "Kindness begets kindness." [tr. Golder & Pevear (1999), l. 584]
- "'Tis kindness that still begets kindness." [tr. Jebb (1917), ll. 521-22]
- "For kindness begets kindness evermore." [tr. Trevelyan (1919)]
The person who is sick in the body needs a doctor;
someone who is sick in the mind needs a friend
For a well-meaning friend knows how to treat grief.[Τῷ μὲν τὸ σῶμα διατεθειμένῳ κακῶς
χρεία ‘στ’ ἰατροῦ, τῷ δὲ τὴν ψυχὴν φίλου·
λύπην γὰρ εὔνους οἶδε θεραπεύειν φίλος.]Menander (c. 341 - c. 290 BC) Greek comedic dramatist
Fragment 591 K., in Stobaeus, Anthology [tr. @sentantiq]
(Source)
Alt. trans.:
- "For him who is ill at ease in his body there is need of a physician, but need of a friend for him whose soul is ill. For loyal words have the secret of healing grief." [tr. Allinson (1921)]
- "Sick bodies need a doctor, minds a friend; / Kind words have skill the mourner's pain to mend." [tr. Edmonds]
Today I bent the truth to be kind, and I have no regret, for I am far surer of what is kind than I am of what is true.
Robert Brault (b. c. 1945) American aphorist, programmer
(Attributed)
True is, that whilome that good poet sayd,
The gentle minde by gentle deeds is knowne:
For a man by nothing is so well bewrayd,
As by his manners.Edmund Spenser (c. 1552-1599) English poet
The Faerie Queene, Book 6, Canto 3, st. 1 (1589-96)
(Source)
Spender is referencing Chaucer's "Wife of Bath's Tale" in the Canterbury Tales: "he is gentil that doth gentil dedis."
Do not only look
For gentlefolk in castles: everywhere,
In humble dwellings and in haylofts, too,
The hearts of men are often kind and true.[Che non pur per cittadi e per castella,
Ma per tuguri ancora e per fenili
Spesso si trovan gli uomini gentili.]Ludovico Ariosto (1474-1533) Italian poet
Orlando Furioso, Canto 14, st. 62 (1532) [tr. Reynolds (1973)]
(Source)
Alt. trans.: "For not alone dwells Hospitality / In court and city; but ofttimes we find / In loft and cottage men of gentle kind." [tr. Rose (1831)]
Do not be chary of appreciation. Hearts are unconsciously hungry for it.
Phillips Brooks (1835-1893) American clergyman, hymnist
“Destruction and Fulfilment,” Sermon 12, Twenty Sermons, 4th Series (1887)
(Source)
Sermon on Matt. 17.
I believe in aristocracy, though — if that is the right word, and if a democrat may use it. Not an aristocracy of power, based upon rank and influence, but an aristocracy of the sensitive, the considerate and the plucky. Its members are to be found in all nations and classes, and all through the ages, and there is a secret understanding between them when they meet. They represent the true human tradition, the one permanent victory of our queer race over cruelty and chaos. Thousands of them perish in obscurity, a few are great names. They are sensitive for others as well as for themselves, they are considerate without being fussy, their pluck is not swankiness but the power to endure, and they can take a joke.
You have it easily in your power to increase the sum total of this world’s happiness now. How? By giving a few words of sincere appreciation to someone who is lonely or discouraged. Perhaps you will forget tomorrow the kind words you say today, but the recipient may cherish them over a lifetime.
Dale Carnegie (1888-1955) American writer, lecturer
In Dorothy Carnegie, The Quick and Easy Way to Effective Speaking (1962)
I was thinking I’d want my daughters to know how much I love them, but I’d also want them to know that being a strong man includes being kind. That there’s nothing weak about kindness and compassion. There’s nothing weak about looking out for others. There’s nothing weak about being honorable. You’re not a sucker to have integrity, and to treat others with respect.
Barack Obama (b. 1961) American politician, US President (2009-2017)
Speech, Funeral of Elijah Cummings, Washington, DC (25 Oct 2019)
(Source)
But the man was anxious to justify himself and said to Jesus, ‘And who is my neighbour?’
Jesus replied, “A man was once on his way down from Jerusalem to Jericho and fell into the hands of brigands; they took all he had, beat him and then made off, leaving him half dead. Now a priest happened to be travelling down the same road, but when he saw the man, he passed by on the other side. In the same way a Levite who came to the place saw him, and passed by on the other side.
“But a Samaritan traveller who came upon him was moved with compassion when he saw him. He went up and bandaged his wounds, pouring oil and wine on them. He then lifted him on to his own mount, carried him to the inn and looked after him. Next day, he took out two denarii and handed them to the innkeeper. ‘Look after him,’ he said ‘and on my way back I will make good any extra expense you have.’
“Which of these three, do you think, proved himself a neighbour to the man who fell into the brigands` hands?”
“The one who took pity on him” he replied.
Jesus said to him, “Go, and do the same yourself.”[ὁ δὲ θέλων δικαιῶσαι ἑαυτὸν εἶπεν πρὸς τὸν Ἰησοῦν, Καὶ τίς ἐστίν μου πλησίον;
ὑπολαβὼν ὁ Ἰησοῦς εἶπεν, Ἄνθρωπός τις κατέβαινεν ἀπὸ Ἰερουσαλὴμ εἰς Ἰεριχὼ καὶ λῃσταῖς περιέπεσεν, οἳ καὶ ἐκδύσαντες αὐτὸν καὶ πληγὰς ἐπιθέντες ἀπῆλθον ἀφέντες ἡμιθανῆ. κατὰ συγκυρίαν δὲ ἱερεύς τις κατέβαινεν ἐν τῇ ὁδῷ ἐκείνῃ καὶ ἰδὼν αὐτὸν ἀντιπαρῆλθεν· ὁμοίως δὲ καὶ Λευίτης [γενόμενος] κατὰ τὸν τόπον ἐλθὼν καὶ ἰδὼν ἀντιπαρῆλθεν.
Σαμαρίτης δέ τις ὁδεύων ἦλθεν κατ᾽ αὐτὸν καὶ ἰδὼν ἐσπλαγχνίσθη, καὶ προσελθὼν κατέδησεν τὰ τραύματα αὐτοῦ ἐπιχέων ἔλαιον καὶ οἶνον, ἐπιβιβάσας δὲ αὐτὸν ἐπὶ τὸ ἴδιον κτῆνος ἤγαγεν αὐτὸν εἰς πανδοχεῖον καὶ ἐπεμελήθη αὐτοῦ. καὶ ἐπὶ τὴν αὔριον ἐκβαλὼν ἔδωκεν δύο δηνάρια τῷ πανδοχεῖ καὶ εἶπεν, Ἐπιμελήθητι αὐτοῦ, καὶ ὅ τι ἂν προσδαπανήσῃς ἐγὼ ἐν τῷ ἐπανέρχεσθαί με ἀποδώσω σοι.
τίς τούτων τῶν τριῶν πλησίον δοκεῖ σοι γεγονέναι τοῦ ἐμπεσόντος εἰς τοὺς λῃστάς;
ὁ δὲ εἶπεν, Ὁ ποιήσας τὸ ἔλεος μετ᾽ αὐτοῦ.
εἶπεν δὲ αὐτῷ ὁ Ἰησοῦς, Πορεύου καὶ σὺ ποίει ὁμοίως.]The Bible (The New Testament) (AD 1st - 2nd C) Christian sacred scripture
Luke 10: 29-37 [JB (1966)]
(Source)
The Parable of the Good Samaritan. It immediately follows on the "Greatest Commandments" to love God and your neighbor, but only in Luke. There are no Synoptic parallels to this passage in Luke.
The Samaritans are an ethnoreligious group related to the Israelites, but who by tradition had not been part of the Assyrian captivity. Both sides consider their version of Judaism the pure and proper one, and in the period in question there was significant hostility between the groups, providing the context for the Samaritan's act of charity toward a fallen Jewish traveler, when a Levite and a Jewish priest had passed him by. More discussion here.
(Source (Greek)). Alternate translations:But he, willing to justify himself, said unto Jesus, And who is my neighbour?
And Jesus answering said, A certain man went down from Jerusalem to Jericho, and fell among thieves, which stripped him of his raiment, and wounded him, and departed, leaving him half dead. And by chance there came down a certain priest that way: and when he saw him, he passed by on the other side. And likewise a Levite, when he was at the place, came and looked on him, and passed by on the other side.
But a certain Samaritan, as he journeyed, came where he was: and when he saw him, he had compassion on him, and went to him, and bound up his wounds, pouring in oil and wine, and set him on his own beast, and brought him to an inn, and took care of him. And on the morrow when he departed, he took out two pence, and gave them to the host, and said unto him, Take care of him; and whatsoever thou spendest more, when I come again, I will repay thee.
Which now of these three, thinkest thou, was neighbour unto him that fell among the thieves?
And he said, He that shewed mercy on him.
Then said Jesus unto him, Go, and do thou likewise.
[KJV (1611)]But the man was anxious to justify himself and said to Jesus, "And who is my neighbour?"
In answer Jesus said, "A man was once on his way down from Jerusalem to Jericho and fell into the hands of bandits; they stripped him, beat him and then made off, leaving him half dead. Now a priest happened to be travelling down the same road, but when he saw the man, he passed by on the other side. In the same way a Levite who came to the place saw him, and passed by on the other side.
"But a Samaritan traveller who came on him was moved with compassion when he saw him. He went up to him and bandaged his wounds, pouring oil and wine n them. He then lifted him onto his own mount and took him to an inn and looked after him. Next day, he took out two denarii and handed them to the innkeeper and said, 'Look after him, and on my way back I will make good any extra expense you have.'
"Which of these three, do you think, proved himself a neighbour to the man who fell into the bandits' hands?"
He replied, "The one who showed pity towards him."
Jesus said to him, "Go, and do the same yourself."
[NJB (1985)]But the teacher of the Law wanted to justify himself, so he asked Jesus, “Who is my neighbor?”
Jesus answered, “There was once a man who was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho when robbers attacked him, stripped him, and beat him up, leaving him half dead. It so happened that a priest was going down that road; but when he saw the man, he walked on by on the other side. In the same way a Levite also came there, went over and looked at the man, and then walked on by on the other side.
But a Samaritan who was traveling that way came upon the man, and when he saw him, his heart was filled with pity. He went over to him, poured oil and wine on his wounds and bandaged them; then he put the man on his own animal and took him to an inn, where he took care of him. The next day he took out two silver coins and gave them to the innkeeper. ‘Take care of him,’ he told the innkeeper, ‘and when I come back this way, I will pay you whatever else you spend on him.’”
And Jesus concluded, “In your opinion, which one of these three acted like a neighbor toward the man attacked by the robbers?”
The teacher of the Law answered, “The one who was kind to him.”
Jesus replied, “You go, then, and do the same.”
[GNT (1992 ed.)]But the legal expert wanted to prove that he was right, so he said to Jesus, “And who is my neighbor?”
Jesus replied, “A man went down from Jerusalem to Jericho. He encountered thieves, who stripped him naked, beat him up, and left him near death. Now it just so happened that a priest was also going down the same road. When he saw the injured man, he crossed over to the other side of the road and went on his way. Likewise, a Levite came by that spot, saw the injured man, and crossed over to the other side of the road and went on his way.
A Samaritan, who was on a journey, came to where the man was. But when he saw him, he was moved with compassion. The Samaritan went to him and bandaged his wounds, tending them with oil and wine. Then he placed the wounded man on his own donkey, took him to an inn, and took care of him. The next day, he took two full days’ worth of wages and gave them to the innkeeper. He said, ‘Take care of him, and when I return, I will pay you back for any additional costs.’
"What do you think? Which one of these three was a neighbor to the man who encountered thieves?”
Then the legal expert said, “The one who demonstrated mercy toward him.”
Jesus told him, “Go and do likewise.”
[CEB (2011)]But wanting to vindicate himself, he asked Jesus, “And who is my neighbor?”
Jesus replied, “A man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho, and fell into the hands of robbers, who stripped him, beat him, and went away, leaving him half dead. Now by chance a priest was going down that road; and when he saw him, he passed by on the other side. So likewise a Levite, when he came to the place and saw him, passed by on the other side.
But a Samaritan while traveling came near him; and when he saw him, he was moved with pity. He went to him and bandaged his wounds, having poured oil and wine on them. Then he put him on his own animal, brought him to an inn, and took care of him. The next day he took out two denarii, gave them to the innkeeper, and said, ‘Take care of him; and when I come back, I will repay you whatever more you spend.’
"Which of these three, do you think, was a neighbor to the man who fell into the hands of the robbers?”
He said, “The one who showed him mercy.”
Jesus said to him, “Go and do likewise.”
[NRSV (2021 ed.)]
The essence of good manners consists in making it clear that one has no wish to hurt. When it is clearly necessary to hurt, it must be done in such a way as to make it evident that the necessity is felt to be regrettable.
Bertrand Russell (1872-1970) English mathematician and philosopher
“Good Manners and Hypocrisy,” New York American (1934-12-14)
(Source)
One must be fond of people and trust them if one is not to make a mess of life, and it is therefore essential that they should not let one down. They often do. The moral of which is that I must, myself, be as reliable as possible, and this I try to be. But reliability is not a matter of contract — that is the main difference between the world of personal relationships and the world of business relationships. It is a matter for the heart, which signs no documents. In other words, reliability is impossible unless there is a natural warmth. Most men possess this warmth, though they often have bad luck and get chilled. Most of them, even when they are politicians, want to keep faith. And one can, at all events, show one’s own little light here, one’s own poor little trembling flame, with the knowledge that it is not the only light that is shining in the darkness, and not the only one which the darkness does not comprehend.
E. M. Forster (1879-1970) English novelist, essayist, critic, librettist [Edward Morgan Forster]
“What I Believe,” The Nation (16 Jul 1938)
(Source)
Being cruel to be kind is just ordinary cruelty with an excuse made for it.
Good manners spring from just one thing — kind impulses.
Elsa Maxwell (1883-1963) American gossip columnist, author, songwriter, professional hostess
Elsa Maxwell’s Etiquette Book (1951)
(Source)
Loving-kindness is greater than laws; and the charities of life are more than all ceremonies.
The Talmud (AD 200-500) Collection of Jewish rabbinical writings
(Unreferenced)
Deeds of kindness are equal in weight to all the commandments.
The Talmud (AD 200-500) Collection of Jewish rabbinical writings
Mishnah, Zeraim, Pe’ah 4:19
(Source)
Kind words also produce their own image in men’s souls; and a beautiful image it is. They soothe and quiet and comfort the hearer. They shame him out of his sour, morose, unkind feelings. We have not yet begun to use kind words in such abundance as they ought to be used.
Blaise Pascal (1623-1662) French scientist and philosopher
(Attributed)
(Source)
Often attributed without citation in 19th Century works, e.g., The Golden Rule and Odd-Fellows' Family Companion, Vol. 7 (1847).
You cannot imagine the kindness I’ve received at the hands of perfect strangers.
W. Somerset Maugham (1874-1965) English novelist and playwright [William Somerset Maugham]
The Narrow Corner, ch. 15 (1932)
It’s important to be kind. You can’t know all the times that you’ve hurt people in tiny, significant ways. It’s easy to be cruel without meaning to be. There’s nothing you can do about that. But you can choose to be kind. Be kind.
Be charitable and indulgent to every one but yourself.
Joseph Joubert (1754-1824) French moralist, philosopher, essayist, poet
(Attributed)
(Source)
Frequently attributed to Joubert, but with no citation from his works. Earliest quoted in Maturin M. Ballou, ed., Treasury of Thought (1884 ed.).
Sometimes given "but thyself."
There are few mortals so insensible that their affections cannot be gained by mildness; their confidence by sincerity; their hatred by scorn or neglect.
Johann Georg Zimmermann (1728-1795) Swiss philosophical writer, naturalist, physician
Aphorisms and Reflections on Men, Morals and Things (1800)
(Source)
The last, best fruit that comes to perfection, even in the kindliest soul, is tenderness toward the hard; forbearance toward the unforbearing; warmth of heart toward the cold; and philanthropy toward the misanthropic.
Jean Paul Richter (1763-1825) German writer, art historian, philosopher, littérateur [Johann Paul Friedrich Richter; pseud. Jean Paul]
(Attributed)
Quoted in Josiah Hotchkiss Gilbert, Dictionary of Burning Words of Brilliant Writers (1895).
Yet, taught by time, my heart has learned to glow
For other’s good, and melt at other’s woe.
When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives mean the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares.
Henri Nouwen (1932-1996) Dutch Catholic priest and writer
Out of Solitude (1974)
Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.
Leo Buscaglia (1925-1998) American psychologist, writer
Born For Love: Reflections on Loving (1992)
The real trouble is that “kindness” is a quality fatally easy to attribute to ourselves on quite inadequate grounds. Everyone feels benevolent if nothing happens to be annoying him at the moment. Thus a man easily comes to console himself for all his other vices by a conviction that “his heart’s in the right place” and “he wouldn’t hurt a fly,” though in fact he has never made the slightest sacrifice for a fellow creature. We think we are kind when we are only happy: it is not so easy, on the same grounds, to imagine oneself temperate, chaste, or humble. You cannot be kind unless you have all the other virtues. If, being cowardly, conceited and slothful, you have never yet done a fellow creature great mischief, that is only because your neighbour’s welfare has not yet happened to conflict with your safety, self-approval, or ease. Every vice leads to cruelty.
C. S. Lewis (1898-1963) English writer, literary scholar, lay theologian [Clive Staples Lewis]
The Problem of Pain (1940)
No one is useless in this world who lightens the burden of it for any one else.
Charles Dickens (1812-1870) English writer and social critic
Our Mutual Friend, ch. 9 (1864-65)
There is only one way of not hating those who do us wrong, and that is by doing them good.
Henri-Frédéric Amiel (1821-1881) Swiss philosopher, poet, critic
Journal (27 Nov 1880) [tr. Ward (1887)]
See Matthew.
If, after I depart this vale, you ever remember me and have thought to please my ghost, forgive some sinner and wink your eye at some homely girl.
H. L. Mencken (1880-1956) American writer and journalist [Henry Lewis Mencken]
“Epitaph,” Smart Set (3 Dec 1921)
The pat on the back, the arm around the shoulder, the praise for what was done right, and the sympathetic nod for what wasn’t, are as much a part of golf as life itself.
Gerald R. Ford (1913-2006) American politician, US President (1974-77) [b. Leslie Lynch King, Jr.]
Speech, Dedication of the World Golf Hall of Fame, Pinehurst, North Carolina (12 Sep 1974)
Unkindness has no Remedy at Law.
Thomas Fuller (1654-1734) English physician, preacher, aphorist, writer
Gnomologia: Adages and Proverbs (compiler), # 5402 (1732)
(Source)
Teach me to feel another’s Woe;
To hide the Fault I see;
That Mercy I to others show,
That Mercy show to me.Alexander Pope (1688-1744) English poet
“The Universal Prayer,” 9 (1738)
One can pay back a loan of gold, but one dies forever in debt to those who are kind.
Proverbs, Sayings, and Adages
Malayan proverb
Even in a time of elephantine vanity and greed, one never has to look far to see the campfires of gentle people.
Garrison Keillor (b. 1942) American entertainer, author
“The Meaning of Life,” We Are Still Married (1989)
When I was young, I admired clever people. Now that I am old, I admire kind people.
Abraham Joshua Heschel (1907-1972) Polish-American rabbi, theologian, philosopher
(Attributed)
(Source)
Quoted by his student, Harold S. Kushner, in When All You've Ever Wanted Isn't Enough, ch. 3 (1986). Also attributed (without citation) to Milton Steinberg and Oscar Wilde.
Variants:
- "When I was young, I admired clever people. Now that I am older, I admire kind people."
- "When I was young, I used to admire intelligent people; as I grow older, I admire kind people."
To read the front pages, you might conclude that Americans are mostly out for themselves, venal, grasping, and mean-spirited. The front pages have room only for defense contractors who cheat and politicians with their hands in the till. But you can’t travel the back roads very long without discovering a multitude of gentle people doing good for others with no expectation of gain or recognition. The everyday kindness of the back roads more than makes up for the acts of greed in the headlines.
Charles Kuralt (1934-1997) American journalist
On the Road with Charles Kuralt (1985)
The only sin is to be unkind.
Elbert Hubbard (1856-1915) American writer, businessman, philosopher
A Thousand and One Epigrams (1911)
How often could things be remedied by a word. How often is it left unspoken.
Norman Douglas (1868-1952) Austro-British writer
An Almanac (1945)
The Americans are a good-natured people, kindly, helpful to one another, disposed to take a charitable view even of wrongdoers […] Even a mob lynching a horse thief in the West has consideration for the criminal, and will give him a good drink of whiskey before he is strung up.
James Bryce (1838-1922) British politician, diplomat, jurist, historian
The American Commonwealth (1888)
The essence of true religious teaching is that one should serve and befriend all. … It is easy enough to be friendly with one’s friends. But to befriend the one who regards himself as your enemy is the quintessence of true religion. The other is mere business.
Mohandas Gandhi (1869-1948) Indian lawyer, anti-colonial nationalist, political ethicist [Mahatma Gandhi]
In Harijan (11 May 1947)
Men are more prone to revenge Injuries, than to requite Kindnesses.
Thomas Fuller (1654-1734) English physician, preacher, aphorist, writer
Gnomologia: Adages and Proverbs (compiler), # 3389 (1732)
(Source)
My note to you I certainly did not expect to see in print; yet I have not been much shocked by the newspaper comments on it. Those comments constitute a fair specimen of what has occurred to me through life. I have endured a great deal of ridicule without much malice; and have received a great deal of kindness, not quite free from ridicule. I am used to it.
Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865) American lawyer, politician, US President (1861-65)
Letter (1863-11-02) to James H. Hackett
(Source)
Lincoln's first letter (1863-08-17) to Hackett, a famous comedic stage actor, in which he talked about Shakespeare's plays, was published in the New York Herald, and drew criticism and mockery from Lincoln's detractors.
Do not let the wise boast in their wisdom; do not let the mighty boast in their might; do not let the wealthy boast in their wealth; but let those who boast boast in this, that they understand and know me, that I am the Lord; I act with steadfast love, justice, and righteousness in the earth, for in these things I delight, says the Lord.
The Bible (The Old Testament) (14th - 2nd C BC) Judeo-Christian sacred scripture [Tanakh, Hebrew Bible], incl. the Apocrypha (Deuterocanonicals)
Jeremiah 9:23-24 [NRSV (1989 ed.)]
(Source)
Alternate translations:Let not the wise man glory in his wisdom, neither let the mighty man glory in his might, let not the rich man glory in his riches: But let him that glorieth glory in this, that he understandeth and knoweth me, that I am the Lord which exercise lovingkindness, judgment, and righteousness, in the earth: for in these things I delight, saith the Lord.
[KJV (1611)]Let the sage boast no more of his wisdom, nor the valiant of his valour, nor the rich man of his riches! But if anyone wants to boast, let him boast of this: of understanding and knowing me. For I am Yahweh, I rule with kindness, justice and integrity on earth; yes, these are what please me -- it is Yahweh who speaks.
[JB (1966), 9:22-23]The wise should not boast of their wisdom,
nor the strong of their strength,
nor the rich of their wealth.
If any want to boast,
they should boast that they know and understand me,
because my love is constant,
and I do what is just and right.
These are the things that please me.
I, the Lord, have spoken.
[GNT (1976)]"Let the sage not boast of wisdom, nor the valiant of valour, nor the wealthy of riches! But let anyone who wants to boast, boast of this: of understanding and knowing me. For I am Yahweh, who acts with faithful love, justice, and uprightness on earth; yes, these are what please me," Yahweh declares.
[NJB (1985), 9:22-23]Let not the wise glory in their wisdom;
Let not the strong glory in their strength;
Let not the rich glory in their riches.
But only in this should one glory:
In being earnestly devoted to Me.
For I GOD act with kindness,
Justice, and equity in the world;
For in these I delight
-- declares GOD.
[RJPS (2023 ed.), 9:22-23]
Kindness consists in part, perhaps, in esteeming and loving people more than they deserve; but then there is a measure of prudence in believing that people are not always equal to what they are taken for.
[Une partie de la bonté consiste peut-être à estimer et à aimer les gens plus qu’ils ne le méritent; mais alors une partie de la prudence est de croire que les gens ne valent pas toujours ce qu’on les prise.]Joseph Joubert (1754-1824) French moralist, philosopher, essayist, poet
Pensées [Thoughts], ch. 5 “Des Passions et des Affections de l’Âme [On the Soul],” ¶ 66 (1850 ed.) [tr. Attwell (1896), ¶ 71]
(Source)
(Source (French)). Alternate translation:A part of goodness consists, perhaps, in esteeming and loving people more than they deserve; but then a part of prudence is to believe that people are not always worth what we rate them at.
[tr. Calvert (1866), ch. 5]
Commonly truncated and paraphrased as:A part of kindness consists in loving people more than they deserve.
[E.g. (1935)]
(Sometimes the "A part of" is left off as well.)
A man’s character is most evident by how he treats those who are not in a position either to retaliate or reciprocate.
Paul Eldridge (1888-1982) American educator, novelist, poet
“Lanterns in the Night,” Maxim 41, The Jewish Forum (Aug 1948)
Restated by Eldridge in Maxims for a Modern Man, #1198 (1965): "A man is most accurately judged by how he treats those who are not in a position either to retaliate or to reciprocate."
The same sentiment is also made or attributed to Ann Landers, Abigail Van Buren, Malcolm Forbes, James Miles, and (without any reference found) Goethe and Samuel Johnson. A more convoluted version can be found in the 19th Century by Charles Spurgeon.
More examination of this quotation:
There is a delight in meeting the eyes of one to whom one has just done a kindness.
[Il y a du plaisir à rencontrer les yeux de celui à qui l’on vient de donner.]
Jean de La Bruyère (1645-1696) French essayist, moralist
The Characters [Les Caractères], ch. 4 “Of the Heart [Du Coeur],” § 45 (4.45) (1688) [tr. Stewart (1970)]
(Source)
Commonly paraphrased, "The finest pleasure is kindness to others." It is interesting how some of the translations lean into the idea of performing a kindness being a pleasure, and others the obligation that kindness leverages.
(Source (French)). Alternate translations:There is a pleasure to meet the Eyes of a person that we have lately oblig'd.
[Bullord ed. (1696)]There is a pleasure in meeting the Eyes of a Person whom we have lately oblig'd.
[Curll ed. (1713)]There is a pleasure to meet the Eyes of a Person whom we have lately obliged.
[Browne ed. (1752)]There is a pleasure in meeting the glance of a person whom we have lately laid under some obligations.
[tr. Van Laun (1885)]
Thus says the Lord of hosts: Render true judgments, show kindness and mercy to one another; do not oppress the widow, the orphan, the alien, or the poor; and do not devise evil in your hearts against one another.
But they refused to listen and turned a stubborn shoulder and stopped their ears in order not to hear. They made their hearts adamant in order not to hear the law and the words that the Lord of hosts had sent by his spirit through the former prophets. Therefore great wrath came from the Lord of hosts.The Bible (The Old Testament) (14th - 2nd C BC) Judeo-Christian sacred scripture [Tanakh, Hebrew Bible], incl. the Apocrypha (Deuterocanonicals)
Zechariah 7: 9-12 [NRSV (2021 ed.)]
(Source)
Alternate translations:Thus speaketh the Lord of hosts, saying, Execute true judgment, and shew mercy and compassions every man to his brother:
And oppress not the widow, nor the fatherless, the stranger, nor the poor; and let none of you imagine evil against his brother in your heart.
But they refused to hearken, and pulled away the shoulder, and stopped their ears, that they should not hear.
Yea, they made their hearts as an adamant stone, lest they should hear the law, and the words which the Lord of hosts hath sent in his spirit by the former prophets: therefore came a great wrath from the Lord of hosts.
[KJV (1611)]Yahweh Sabaoth says this. He said, "Apply the law fairly, and practice kindness and compassion towards one another. Do not oppress the widow and the orphan, the settler and the poor man, and do not secretly plan evil against one another." But they would not pay attention; they turned a petulant shoulder; they stopped their ears rather than hear; they made their hearts adamant rather than listen to the teaching and the words that Yahweh Sabaoth had sent by his spirit through the prophets in the past. This aroused great anger on the part of of Yahweh Sabaoth overtook them.
[JB (1966)]“Long ago I gave these commands to my people: ‘You must see that justice is done, and must show kindness and mercy to one another. Do not oppress widows, orphans, foreigners who live among you, or anyone else in need. And do not plan ways of harming one another.’
“But my people stubbornly refused to listen. They closed their minds and made their hearts as hard as rock. Because they would not listen to the teaching which I sent through the prophets who lived long ago, I became very angry."
[GNT (1976)]'Yahweh Sabaoth says this. He said, "Apply the law fairly, and show faithful love and compassion towards one another.
Do not oppress the widow and the orphan, the foreigner and the poor, and do not secretly plan evil against one another."
But they would not listen; they turned a rebellious shoulder; they stopped their ears rather than hear;
they made their hearts adamant rather than listen to the teaching and the words that Yahweh Sabaoth had sent -- by his spirit -- through the prophets in the past; and consequently the fury of Yahweh Sabaoth overtook them.
[NJB (1985)]The Lord of heavenly forces proclaims:
Make just and faithful decisions; show kindness and compassion to each other! Don’t oppress the widow, the orphan, the stranger, and the poor; don’t plan evil against each other! But they refused to pay attention. They turned a cold shoulder and stopped listening.
They steeled their hearts against hearing the Instruction and the words that the Lord of heavenly forces sent by his spirit through the earlier prophets. As a result, the Lord of heavenly forces became enraged.
[CEB (2011)]Thus said GOD of Hosts: Execute true justice; deal loyally and compassionately with one another.
Do not defraud the widow, the orphan, the stranger, and the poor; and do not plot evil against one another. --
But they refused to pay heed. They presented a balky back and turned a deaf ear.
They hardened their hearts like adamant against heeding the instruction and admonition that GOD of Hosts sent to them by divine spirit through the earlier prophets; and a terrible wrath issued from GOD of Hosts.
[RJPS (2023 ed.)]
So many gods, so many creeds;
So many paths that wind and wind,
While just the art of being kind
Is all the sad world needs.Ella Wheeler Wilcox (1850-1919) American author, poet, temperance advocate, spiritualist
Poem (1896), “The World’s Need,” Custer and Other Poems
(Source)
Life is short and we have never too much time for gladdening the hearts of those who are traveling the dark journey with us. Oh, be swift to love, make haste to be kind!
Henri-Frédéric Amiel (1821-1881) Swiss philosopher, poet, critic
Journal Intime (1869-12-16) [tr. Ward (1897)]
(Source)
It is futile to judge a kind deed by its motives. Kindness can become its own motive. We are made kind by being kind.
Eric Hoffer (1902-1983) American writer, philosopher, longshoreman
Passionate State of Mind, Aphorism 123 (1955)
(Source)
We may also observe that a great many people do many things that seem to be inspired more by a spirit of ostentation than by heart-felt kindness; for such people are not really generous but are rather influenced by a sort of ambition to make a show of being open-handed. Such a pose is nearer akin to hypocrisy than to generosity or moral goodness.
[Videre etiam licet plerosque non tam natura liberales quam quadam gloria ductos, ut benefici videantur, facere multa, quae proficisci ab ostentatione magis quam a voluntate videantur. Talis autem sinulatio vanitati est coniunctior quam aut liberalitati aut honestati.]
Marcus Tullius Cicero (106-43 BC) Roman orator, statesman, philosopher
De Officiis [On Duties; On Moral Duty; The Offices], Book 1, ch. 14 (1.14) / sec. 44 (44 BC) [tr. Miller (1913)]
(Source)
(Source (Latin)). Alternate translations:trans.:One may also observe in a great many people, that they take a sort of pride in being counted magnificent, and give very plentifully, not from any generous principle in their natures, but only to appear great in the eye of the world; so that all their bounty is resolved into nothing but mere outside and pretense, and is nearer of kin to vanity and folly, than it is to either liberality or honesty.
[tr. Cockman (1699)]Besides we may observe, that most men, not so much from a liberal disposition, as led by some show of apparent beneficence, do acts of kindness, which seem to flow more from ostentation than from the heart. This conduct is more allied to vanity than to liberality or honour.
[tr. McCartney (1798)]For it is easy to observe, that most of them are not so much by nature generous, as they are misled by a kind of pride to do a great many things in order that they may seem to be generous; which things seem to spring not so much from good will as from ostentation. Now such a simulation is more nearly allied to duplicity than to generosity or virtue.
[tr. Edmonds (1865)]We can see, also, that a large number of persons, less from a liberal nature than for the reputation of generosity, do many things that evidently proceed from ostentation rather than from good will.
[tr. Peabody (1883)]It is also manifest that the conduct of men who are not really generous but only ambitious of the name often springs from vainglory rather than from a pure motive. Such hypocrisy, I hold, savours more of deceit than of liberality or honour.
[tr. Gardiner (1899)]It is quite clear that many individuals who are not so much innately generous as they are swayed by the vain desire to seem generous, often indulge in gestures that apparently originate in ostentation rather than in genuine open-handedness. This kind of pretense is closer to vanity than to generosity or uprightness.
[tr. Edinger (1974)]
Deeds of kindness are equal in weight to all the commandments.
The Talmud (AD 200-500) Collection of Jewish rabbinical writings
(Unreferenced)
In Louis I. Newman, comp., The Talmudic Anthology, #177 (1945)
To keep up and improve Friendship, thou must be willing to receive a Kindness, as well as to do one.
Thomas Fuller (1654-1734) English physician, preacher, aphorist, writer
Introductio ad Prudentiam, Vol. 1, # 1186 (1725)
(Source)
Good words are worth much, and cost little.
George Herbert (1593-1633) Welsh priest, orator, poet.
Jacula Prudentum, or Outlandish Proverbs, Sentences, &c. (compiler), # 155 (1640 ed.)
(Source)
The old woman took the umbrella, gratefully, and smiled her thanks. “You’ve a good heart,” she told him. “Sometimes that’s enough to see you safe wherever you go.” Then she shook her head. “But mostly, it’s not.”
The truth is the kindest thing we can give folks in the end.
Harriet Beecher Stowe (1811-1896) American author
The Pearl of Orr’s Island, ch. 36 [Aunt Roxy] (1869)
(Source)
We do not go to cowards for tender dealing; there is nothing so cruel as panic; the man who has least fear for his own carcase, has most time to consider others.
Gentleness and cheerfulness, these come before all morality; they are the perfect duties.
Robert Louis Stevenson (1850-1894) Scottish essayist, novelist, poet
Essay (1888-12), “A Christmas Sermon,” sec. 2, Scribner’s Magazine, Vol. 4
(Source)
In context, Stevenson is using "morality" in terms of legalistic religion.
Originally written in the winter of 1887-88. Collected in Across the Plains, ch. 12 (1892).
No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted.
Aesop (620?-560? BC) Legendary Greek storyteller
Fables [Aesopica], “The Lion and the Mouse” (6th C BC)
Alternate translation: "Kindness is seldom thrown away" [tr. James (1848)]
There is no religion without love, and people may talk as much as they like about their religion, but if it does not teach them to be good and kind to man and beast, it is all a sham.
Anna Sewell (1820-1878) English novelist
Black Beauty, Part 1, ch. 13 “The Devil’s Trade-Mark” (1877)
(Source)
If you can’t be kind, at least be vague.
Judith Martin (b. 1938) American author, journalist, etiquette expert [a.k.a. Miss Manners]
“Miss Manners,” syndicated column (1982-08-28)
(Source)
Widely cited as a Miss Manners quotation, this is actually the headline given in at least some outlets (e.g., The Washington Post) for this date's column (which may or may not have been the title suggested by the column itself). The phrased in an expanded form in the article:In any case, Miss Manners does not believe in ending a summer fling by explaining that it was a summer fling, when the other person might have considered it significant. Neither does one document the decline of one's interest; it is not nearly so charming a story as the build-up of feeling was, at the beginning of the summer.
There is no way to be kind in such an assignment, but you can at least be vague.
You have been told, O mortal, what is good,
And what God requires of you:
Only to do justice
And to love goodness,
And to walk modestly with your God.The Bible (The Old Testament) (14th - 2nd C BC) Judeo-Christian sacred scripture [Tanakh, Hebrew Bible], incl. the Apocrypha (Deuterocanonicals)
Micah 6: 8 [RJPS (2023 ed.)]
(Source)
Alternate translations:He hath shewed thee, O man what is good; and what doth the LORD require of thee, but to do justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with thy God?
[KJV (1611)]What is good has been explained to you, man; this is what Yahweh asks of you: only this, to act justly, to love tenderly and to walk humbly with your God.
[JB (1966)]No, the Lord has told us what is good. What he requires of us is this: to do what is just, to show constant love, and to live in humble fellowship with our God.
[GNT (1976)]You have already been told what is right and what Yahweh wants of you. Only this, to do what is right, to love loyalty and to walk humbly with your God.
[NJB (1985)]He has told you, human one, what is good and
what the Lord requires from you:
to do justice, embrace faithful love, and walk humbly with your God.
[CEB (2011)]He has told you, O mortal, what is good,
and what does the Lord require of you
but to do justice and to love kindness
and to walk humbly with your God?
[NRSV (2021 ed.)]He has shown you, O mortal, what is good.
And what does the Lord require of you?
To act justly and to love mercy
and to walk humbly with your God.
[NIV (2011 ed.)]
That best portion of a good man’s life,
His little, nameless, unremembered acts
Of kindness and love.
William Wordsworth (1770-1850) English poet
“Lines Composed a few Miles above Tintern Abbey” (13 Jul 1798)
(Source)
Often paraphrased into a sentence, e.g., "The best portion of a good man's life is his little, nameless, unremembered acts of kindness and of love."
Shall we make a new rule of life from tonight: always to try to be a little kinder than is necessary?
J. M. Barrie (1860-1937) Scottish novelist and dramatist [James Matthew Barrie]
The Little White Bird, ch. 4 “A Night-Piece,” Scribner’s Magazine, Vol. 32 (1902-08)
(Source)
This portion of the serial is in ch. 4 of the fully collected novel (1902).
The first rule is, to keep an untroubled spirit; for all things must bow to Nature’s law, and soon enough you must vanish into nothingness, like Hadrian and Augustus. The second is to look things in the face and know them for what they are, remembering that it is your duty to be a good man. Do without flinching what man’s nature demands; say what seems to you most just — though with courtesy, modesty, and sincerity.
[Τὸ πρῶτον μὴ ταράσσου: πάντα γὰρ κατὰ τὴν τοῦ ὅλου φύσιν καὶ ὀλίγου χρόνου οὐδεὶς οὐδαμοῦ ἔσῃ, ὥσπερ οὐδὲ Ἁδριανὸς οὐδὲ Αὔγουστος. ἔπειτα ἀτενίσας εἰς τὸ πρᾶγμα ἴδε αὐτὸ καὶ συμμνημονεύσας ὅτι ἀγαθόν σε ἄνθρωπον εἶναι δεῖ καὶ τί τοῦ ἀνθρώπου ἡ φύσις ἀπαιτεῖ, πρᾶξον τοῦτο ἀμεταστρεπτὶ καὶ εἰπέ, ὡς δικαιότατον φαίνεταί σοι: μόνον εὐμενῶς καὶ αἰδημόνως καὶ ἀνυποκρίτως.]
Marcus Aurelius (AD 121-180) Roman emperor (161-180), Stoic philosopher
Meditations [To Himself; Τὰ εἰς ἑαυτόν], Book 8, ch. 5 (8.5) (AD 161-180) [tr. Staniforth (1964)]
(Source)
This translation was adapted (and significantly shortened) by Norman Vincent Peale in You Can If You Think You Can (1974): "The first rule is to keep an untroubled spirit. The second is to look things in the face and know them for what they are."
Peale's paraphrase significantly changes the meaning (by removing the fatalism and the sense of duty in the face of the actions of great men from the past, and turning it into a general call for calm and clarity). Nonetheless, Peale's version of this translation shows up all over the place, and generally without reference to him.
Original Greek. Alternate translations:First; let it not trouble thee. For all things both good and evil come to pass according to the nature and general condition of the universe, and within a very little while, all things will be at an end; no man will be remembered: as now of Africanus (for example) and Augustus it is already come to pass. Then secondly; fix thy mind upon the thing itself; look into it, and remembering thyself, that thou art bound nevertheless to be a good man, and what it is that thy nature requireth of thee as thou art a man, be not diverted from what thou art about, and speak that which seemeth unto thee most just: only speak it kindly, modestly, and without hypocrisy.
[tr. Casaubon (1634), 8.4]In the first place , keep your self easie, for all things are govern'd by the Laws, and Order of Providence: Besides, you'l quickly go the way of all Flesh, as Augustus, Adrian, and the rest of the Emperours have done before you. Farther, Examine the matter to the bottom , and remember, that the top of your business is to be a Good Man : Therefore whatever the Dignity of Humane Nature requires of you, set about it presently , without Ifs, or Ands : And speak always according to your Conscience , but let it be done in the Terms of Good Nature and Civility.
[tr. Collier (1701)]In the first place, be not disturbed or put into confusion. All things happen according to the nature of the whole. In a little time you shall be gone, as Hadrian, and Augustus. And, then, attentively consider the nature of what occurs to you: Remember you must persist in the purpose of being a good man. Act, then, inflexibly what suits the nature of a man, and speak always what appears to you just, and yet with calm good-nature and modesty; and without Hypocrisy.
[tr. Hutcheson/Moor (1742)]Let it be a principal part of your philosophy to preserve your tranquility: for all things come to pass by the direction of Providence. And, in a few years, you yourself must leave this world, as Hadrian and Augustus have done before you.
In the next place, consider the affair in its proper light, and you will find, that your whole business here is to be a good man. Whatever teh nature of man therefore requires of you, perform it strenuously and with assiduity; and whatever justice dictates on every occasion, speak it boldly, but with good-nature, modesty, and sincerity.
[tr. Graves (1792)]This is the chief thing: Be not perturbed, for all things are according to the nature of the universal; and in a little time thou wilt be nobody and nowhere, like Hadrianus and Augustus. In the next place, having fixed thy eyes steadily on thy business, look at it, and at the same time remembering that it is thy duty to be a good man, and what man's nature demands, do that without turning aside; and speak as it seems to thee most just, only let it be with a good disposition and with modesty and without hypocrisy.
[tr. Long (1862)]In the first place, keep yourself easy, for all things are governed by the universal nature. Besides, you'll quickly go the way of all flesh, as Augustus and Hadrian have done before you. Farther, examine the matter from top to bottom, and remember that your business is to be a good man. Therefore, whatever the dignity of human nature requires of you, set about it at once, without "ifs" or "ands"; and speak always according to your conscience, but let it be done in the terms of good nature and modesty and sincerity.
[tr. Collier/Zimmern (1887)]First and foremost, keep unperturbed. For all things follow the law of Nature: and in a little while you will vanish and be nought, even as are Hadrian and Augustus. Secondly, face facts open-eyed, bearing in mind that it is your duty to be a man and to do good; what man's nature demands, that you do without swerving; so speak, as seems to you most just; only be it considerately, modestly, and with sincerity.
[tr. Rendall (1898)]Before all things, be not perturbed. Everything comes to pass as directed by universal Nature, and in a little time you will be departed and gone, like Hadrianus and Augustus. Then, scan closely the nature of what has befallen, remembering that it is your duty to be a good man. Do unflinchingly whatever man’s nature requires, and speak as seems most just, yet in kindliness, modesty, and sincerity.
[tr. Hutcheson/Chrystal (1902)]Firstly, fret not thyself, for all things are as the Nature of the Universe would have them, and within a little thou shalt be non-existent, and nowhere, like Hadrianus and Augustus. Secondly, look steadfastly at the thing, and see it as it is and, remembering withal that thou must be a good man, and what the Nature of man calls for, do this without swerving, and speak as seemeth to thee most just, only be it graciously, modestly, and without feigning.
[tr. Haines (Loeb) (1916)]In the first place, be not troubled; for all things are according to Universal Nature, and in a little while you will be no one and nowhere, even as Hadrian and Augustus are no more. Next, looking earnestly at the question, perceive its essence, and reminding yourself that your duty is to be a good man, and what it is that man's nature demands, do that without swerving, and speak the thing that appears to you to be most just, provided only that it is with kindness and modesty, and without hypocrisy
. [tr. Farquharson (1944)]First of all, be untroubled in your mind; for all things come about as universal nature would have them, and in a short while you will be no one and nowhere, as are Hadrian and Augustus. And next, keep your eyes fixed on the matter in hand and observe it well, remembering that it is your duty to be a good person, and that whatever human nature demands, you must fulfil without the slightest deviation and in the manner that seems most just to you; only do so with kindness and modesty, and without false pretences.
[tr. Hard (1997 ed.), Hard (2011 ed.)]The first step: Don't be anxious. Nature controls it all. And before long you'll be no one, nowhere -- like Hadrian, like Augustus. The second step: Concentrate on what you have to do. Fix your eyes on it. Remind yourself that your task is to be a good human being; remind yourself what nature demands of people. Then do it, without hesitation, and speak the truth as you see it. But with kindness. With humility. Without hypocrisy.
[tr. Hays (2003)]First, do not be upset: all things follow the nature of the Whole, and in a little while you will be no one and nowhere, as is true now even of Hadrian and Augustus. Next, concentrate on the matter in hand and see it for what it is. Remind yourself of your duty to be a good man and rehearse what man’s nature demands: then do it straight and unswerving, or say what you best think right. Always, though, in kindness, integrity, and sincerity.
[tr. Hammond (2006)]
OLIVER: Kindness, nobler ever than revenge.
William Shakespeare (1564-1616) English dramatist and poet
As You Like It, Act 4, sc. 3, l. 135 (4.3.135) (1599)
(Source)
ANTONIO: In nature there’s no blemish but the mind;
None can be called deformed but the unkind.William Shakespeare (1564-1616) English dramatist and poet
Twelfth Night, Act 3, sc. 4, l. 386ff (3.4.386-387) (1601)
(Source)
Be pitiful, for every man is fighting a hard battle.
John Watson (1850-1907) Scottish writer, preacher, theologian [pseud. Ian Maclaren]
The British Weekly (1897)
Kindness is the mark of faith; and whoever has not kindness has not faith.
Muhammad (AD c. 570-632) Arab religious, military, and political leader; founder of Islam [Mohammed, مُحَمَّد]
The Sayings of Mohammed, #254 [tr. Abdullah Al-Suhrawardy (1941)]
