There are more who want to be loved than who want to love.
[Y a plus de gens qui veulent être aimés que de gens qui veulent aimer eux-mêmes.]Nicolas Chamfort (1741-1794) French writer, epigrammist (b. Nicolas-Sébastien Roch)
Products of Perfected Civilization [Produits de la Civilisation Perfectionée], Part 1 “Maxims and Thoughts [Maximes et Pensées],” ch. 6, ¶ 360 (1795) [tr. Merwin (1969)]
(Source)
(Source (French)). Alternate translations:
There are more people who wish to be loved than there are who are willing to love.
[Source (<1884)]
Men are more eager to be loved than anxious to love.
[tr. Mathers (1926)]
There are more people who want to be loved than there are people who want to love.
[tr. Dusinberre (1992)]
There are more people who want to be loved than people who want to love.
[tr. Siniscalchi (1994)]
Quotations about:
giving
Note not all quotations have been tagged, so Search may find additional quotes on this topic.
Give all thou canst; high Heaven rejects the lore
Of nicely calculated less or more.William Wordsworth (1770-1850) English poet
“Inside of King’s College Chapel, Cambridge,” Ecclesiastical Sonnets, Part 3, # 43, ll. 6-7 (1822)
(Source)
For all you can hold in your cold dead hand
Is what you have given away.Joaquin Miller (1837-1913) American poet [pen name of Cincinnatus Heine (or Hiner) Miller]
“Peter Cooper (Died 1883),” ll. 11-12, In Classic Shades and Other Poems (1890)
(Source)
This phrasing of the sentiment seems to have been made by Miller, but the sentiment itself predates him in various ways. See, for example, Martial, Epigram 5.42 (AD 90): "You keep thus always what you gave."
Edward Gibbon, in his Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire,, ch. 61 (1776), notes the epitaph of 15th Century Earl Edward Courtenay of Devonshire:
What we gave, we have;
What we spent, we had;
What we left, we lost.
Miller was himself quoted by Edwin M. Poteat, President of Furman University, in his poem "What You Have Given Away" (1909). Poteat put the phrase in quotation marks, but is sometimes still given full credit.
Elbert Hubbard may have been borrowing from Miller in his Little Journeys to the Homes of the Great, Vol. 12 "Great Scientists," "Haeckel" (collected in 1916, but published earlier), where he writes:
We keep things by giving them to others. The dead carry in their clenched hands only that which they have given away; and the living carry only the love in their hearts which they have bestowed on others.
Finally, often in the variant form "All we can hold in our cold dead hands is what we have given away," the phrase is today often identified as a Sanskrit proverb. The universality of thought means it may well have an ancient Indian inspiration, but the language may indicate a tie to Miller's poem, as promulgated. The "Sanscrit proverb" appears as such in Hoyt's New Cyclopedia of Practical Quotations (1922), but not in the 1896 edition. This may be taken from a letter to the editor, New York Times (1908-07-25) by Emily Noble, identifying this as the translation of a Sanskrit proverb.
The Holy Supper is kept, indeed,
In whatso we share with another’s need;
Not what we give, but what we share, —
For the gift without the giver is bare;
Who gives himself with his alms feeds three, —
Himself, his hungering neighbor, and me.James Russell Lowell (1819-1891) American diplomat, essayist, poet
“The Vision of Sir Launfal,” Part 2, st. 8 (1848)
(Source)
Christ / the Holy Grail speaking to Sir Launfal. See Matthew 25:31-46.
For it’s the will
And not the gift that makes the giver.[Denn der Wille
und nicht die Gabe macht den Geber.]Gotthold Lessing (1729-1781) German playwright, philosopher, dramaturg, writer
Nathan the Wise [Nathan der Weise], Act 1, sc. 5 [Lay Brother/Friar] (1779) [tr. Morgan (1955)]
(Source)
(Source (German)). Alternate translations:
The will, and not the deed, makes up the giver.
[tr. Taylor (1790)]
'Tis
The will, and not the boon, that makes the giver.
[tr. Reich (1860)]
For the will it is
That makes the giver -- not the gift.
[tr. Jacks (1867)]
For the will and not the gift makes the giver.
[Source (1873)]
The will and not the deed perfects the giver.
[tr. Boylan (1878)]
For 'tis the will, and not the gift,
That makes the giver.
[tr. Corbett (1883)]
The will and not the gift
Doth constitute the giver.
[tr. Maxwell (1917)]
Because the intention and not the gift make the giver.
[tr. Reinhardt (1950)]
It's not the gift that makes the giver, no, but rather his good will.
[tr. Ade (1972)]
The only gift is a portion of thyself. Thou must bleed for me. Therefore the poet brings his poem; the shepherd, his lamb; the farmer, corn; the miner, a gem; the sailor, coral and shells; the painter, his picture; the girl, a handkerchief of her own sewing.
Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882) American essayist, lecturer, poet
“Gifts,” Essays: Second Series, No. 5 (1844).
(Source)
Give, give, give — what is the point of having experience, knowledge, or talent if I don’t give it away? Of having stories if I don’t tell them to others? Of having wealth if I don’t share it? I don’t intend to be cremated with any of it! It is in giving that I connect with others, with the world, and with the divine.
Isabel Allende (b. 1942) Chilean-American writer
“In Giving I Connect with Others,” This I Believe series, All Things Considered, NPR (2005-04-04)
(Source)
Written as a tribute to her daughter, Paula, who died in December 1992.
The rule is, we are to Give as we would Receive, cheerfully, quickly, and without Hesitation; for there’s no Grace in a Benefit that sticks to the fingers.
Seneca the Younger (c. 4 BC-AD 65) Roman statesman, philosopher, playwright [Lucius Annaeus Seneca]
Morals, Part 1 “Of Benefits,” ch. 7 “The Manner of Obliging” [tr. L’Estrange (1693)]
(Source)
Where the heart is in the giving, there is no question of goods that are being traded thriftily. In giving, you throw a bridge across the chasm of your solitude.
Antoine de Saint-Exupéry (1900-1944) French writer, aviator
Citadelle [The Wisdom of the Sands], ch. 46 (1948) [tr. Gilbert (1950)]
(Source)
It is well to give when asked, but it is better to give unasked, through understanding.
Kahlil Gibran (1883-1931) Lebanese-American poet, writer, painter [Gibran Khalil Gibran]
The Prophet, “Giving” (1923)
(Source)
Giving is more joyous than receiving, not because it is a deprivation, but because in the act of giving lies the expression of my aliveness.
Erich Fromm (1900-1980) American psychoanalyst and social philosopher
The Art of Loving, ch. 2, sec. 1 (1956)
(Source)
All of us are infected today with an extraordinary egoism. And that is not freedom; freedom means learning to demand only of oneself, not of life and others, and knowing how to give: sacrifice in the name of love.
Andrei Tarkovsky (1932-1986) Russian film director, screenwriter, film theorist [Андрей Арсеньевич Тарковский]
Sculpting in Time (1986) [tr. Hunter-Blair]
(Source)
To have and not give is in some cases worse than stealing.
[Haben und nichts geben, ist in manchen Fällen schlechter als stehlen.]
Marie von Ebner-Eschenbach (1830-1916) Austrian writer
Aphorisms [Aphorismen], No. 41 (1880-1893) [tr. Wister (1882)]
(Source)
(Source (German)). Alternate translation:
To have and not give is in some instances worse than stealing.
[tr. Scrase/Mieder (1994)]
You have to be very careful when you give to others that you don’t tell them how great you are rather than how much you value them.
Merle Shain (1935-1989) Canadian journalist and author
When Lovers Are Friends, ch. 9 (1980)
(Source)
That charity which longs to publish itself ceases to be charity.
Eliza Cook (1818-1889) English author and poet
“Diamond Dust,” Eliza Cook’s Journal, # 90 (18 Jan 1851)
(Source)
That I nor gold nor silver to you send,
I this forbear, for your sake, learned friend.
Who gives great gifts, expects great gifts again;
My cheap ones to return will cause no pain.[Quod non argentum, quod non tibi mittimus aurum,
Hoc facimus causa, Stella diserte, tua.
Quisquis magna dedit, voluit sibi magna remitti;
Fictilibus nostris exoneratus eris.]Martial (AD c.39-c.103) Spanish Roman poet, satirist, epigrammatist [Marcus Valerius Martialis]
Epigrams [Epigrammata], Book 5, epigram 59 (5.59) (AD 90) [tr. Killigrew (1695)]
(Source)
(Source (Latin)). Alternate translations:
That of silver or gold we afford no oblation,
'Tis for they sake, sweet Stella, th' economy's such.
Ample off'rings expect ample remuneration;
A plain service of earth will not gravitate much.
[tr. Elphinston (1782), Book 2, ep. 11]
In forbearing to send you either silver or gold, eloquent Stella, I have acted for your interest. Whoever makes great presents, wishes great presents to be made in return. By my present of earthenware vases you will be released from such an obligation.
[tr. Bohn's Classical (1859)]
In sending you no silver plate, no gold plate, I act in your interest, eloquent Stella. He who has given great presents has desired great presents in return: your burden will be lightened by my earthenware.
[tr. Ker (1919)]
Dear poet friend, desirous to befriend you
It is not gold or silver that I send you,
For costly gifts demand a costly guerdon;
My pretty gift shall free you from a burden.
[tr. Pott & Wright (1921)]
If I send you no silver, if I send you no gold, I do so for your sake, eloquent Stella. Whoever gives much, wants much in return. My earthenware will take a load off your shoulders.
[tr. Shackleton Bailey (1993)]
Thank me you get no wealthy gifts from me.
It keeps you of reciprocation free.
[tr. Wills (2007)]
In sending you no silver and no gold,
my purpose, eloquent Stella, is to please.
A lavish giver wants a big return --
my earthenware will put you at your ease.
[tr. McLean (2014)]
The art of politics is ostentatious giving and surreptitious taking.
Roger J. Vaughan (b. 1946) American economist, economic analyst
In Stephen Labaton, “Presidential Candidates Ignore Banking Problem,” New York Times (7 Oct 1992)
(Source)
Attention is the rarest and purest form of generosity.
Simone Weil (1909-1943) French philosopher
Letter to Joë Bousquet (13 Apr 1942)
Quoted in Simone Pétrement, Simone Weil: A Life (1976) [tr. Rosenthal].
Every man is a consumer, and ought to be a producer. He fails to make his place good in the world, unless he not only pays his debt, but also adds something to the common wealth.
Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882) American essayist, lecturer, poet
“Wealth,” The Conduct of Life, ch. 3 (1860)
(Source)
He who gives only what he would as readily throw away gives without generosity; for the essence of generosity is in self-sacrifice.
Henry Taylor (1800-1886) English dramatist, poet, bureaucrat, man of letters
“Money,” Notes from Life (1847)
(Source)
In Christmas feasting pray take care;
Let not your table be a Snare;
But with the Poor God’s Bounty share.
Benjamin Franklin (1706-1790) American statesman, scientist, philosopher, aphorist
Poor Richard’s Almanack, December (1748)
(Source)
The ultimate test of man’s conscience may be his willingness to sacrifice something today for future generations whose words of thanks will not be heard.
Gaylord Nelson (1916-2005) American politician and environmentalist
“Ah, Wilderness! Save It,” New York Times (4 Sep 1984)
(Source)
In giving of thy alms, inquire not so much into the person, as his necessity. God looks not so much upon the merits of him that requires, as into the manner of him that relieves; if the man deserve not, thou hast given it to humanity.
I will enjoy the pleasure of what I give by giving it alive, and seeing another enjoy it. When I die, I should be ashamed to leave enough to build me a monument if there were a wanting friend above ground.
Alexander Pope (1688-1744) English poet
Letter to Jonathan Swift (9 Oct 1729)
The very poor can always be depended upon. They never turn away the hungry. Time and again, all over the United States, have I been refused food at the big house on the hill; and always have I received food from the little shack down by the creek or marsh, with its broken windows stuffed with rags and its tired-faced mother broken with labor. Oh! you charity-mongers, go to the poor and learn, for the poor alone are the charitable. They neither give nor withhold from the excess. They have no excess. They give, and they withhold never, from what they need for themselves. A bone to the dog is not charity. Charity is the bone shared with the dog when you are just as hungry as the dog.
Jack London (1876-1916) American novelist
“My Life in the Underworld,” Cosmopolitan Magazine (May 1907)
(Source)
Republished in The Road, Part 1, ch. 1 (1907). Recalling his days as a hobo in 1892.
Posthumous charities are the very essence of selfishness, when bequeathed by those who, when alive, would part with nothing.
Charles Caleb "C. C." Colton (1780-1832) English cleric, writer, aphorist
Lacon: or, Many Things in Few Words, #341 (1820)
(Source)
Do not give, as many rich men do, like a hen that lays her egg and then cackles.
Henry Ward Beecher (1813-1887) American clergyman and orator
“Plymouth Pulpit” (26 Jun 1869)
As we struggle with shopping lists and invitations, compounded by December’s bad weather, it is good to be reminded that there are people in our lives who are worth this aggravation, and people to whom we are worth the same.
Donald E. Westlake (1933-2008) American writer
(Attributed)
The excellence of a gift lies in its appropriateness rather than in its value.
Charles Dudley Warner (1829–1900) American essayist and novelist
Backlog Studies, Eleventh Study (1872)
(Source)
You make a living by what you earn, you make a life by what you give.
Winston Churchill (1874-1965) British statesman and author
(Spurious)
Frequently attributed to Churchill, but not found in any of his writings or records of his spoken words by the Churchill Centre.
What do you think God gave you more wealth than is requisite to satisfy your rational wants for, when you look around and see how many are in absolute need of that which you do not need? Can you not take the hint?
J. G. Holland (1819-1881) American novelist, poet, editor [Josiah Gilbert Holland; pseud. Timothy Titcomb]
(Attributed)
Quoted in Josiah Hotchkiss Gilbert, Dictionary of Burning Words of Brilliant Writers (1895)
In fact generally, doing well by others is more characteristic of virtue than being done well by, and doing things positively honourable than forbearing to do things dishonourable.
[τῆς γὰρ ἀρετῆς μᾶλλον τὸ εὖ ποιεῖν ἢ τὸ εὖ πάσχειν, καὶ τὰ καλὰ πράττειν μᾶλλον ἢ τὰ αἰσχρὰ μὴ πράττειν]
Aristotle (384-322 BC) Greek philosopher
Nicomachean Ethics [Ἠθικὰ Νικομάχεια], Book 4, ch. 1 (4.1.7) / 1120a.11 (c. 325 BC) [tr. Chase (1847)]
(Source)
(Source (Greek)). Alternate translations:
For virtue rather shows itself in treating others as we ought, than in being treated as we ought; and in doing noble acts, rather than in abstaining from disgraceful acts.
[tr. Williams (1869)]
For it is more truly distinctive of virtue to be the author than to be the recipient of benefactions, and to do what is noble than to abstain from doing what is shameful.
[tr. Welldon (1892)]
For it is more distinctive of virtue to do good to others than to have good done to you, and to do what is noble than not to do what is base.
[tr. Peters (1893)]
For it is more characteristic of virtue to do good than to have good done to one, and more characteristic to do what is noble than not to do what is base.
[tr. Ross (1908)]
Virtue is displayed in doing good rather than in having good done to one, and in performing noble acts rather than in avoiding base ones.
[tr. Rackham (1934)]
The good man thinks it more blessed to give than to receive, and virtue is more clearly shown in the performance of fine actions than in the non-performance of base ones.
[tr. Thomson (1953)]
Virtue consists more in doing good than in receiving it, and more in doing fine actions than in refraining from disgraceful ones.
[tr. Thomson/Tredennick (1976)]
For it is more proper to virtue to do good than to receive good, and more proper to do fine actions than not to do shameful ones.
[tr. Irwin (1999)]
For it is more characteristic of virtue to do good than to receive it, and to do noble actions than not to do shameful ones.
[tr. Crisp (2000)]
Cf. the Bible, Acts 20:35 [KJV]:
I have shewed you all things, how that so labouring ye ought to support the weak, and to remember the words of the Lord Jesus, how he said, It is more blessed to give than to receive.
Happiest are the people who give most happiness to others.
Denis Diderot (1713-1784) French editor, philosopher
(Attributed)
If we hate ourselves, we can never love others, for love is the gift of oneself. How will you make a gift of that which you hate?
William Sloane Coffin, Jr. (1924-2006) American minister, social activist
Credo, “Faith, Hope, Love” (2004)
(Source)
You cannot live the perfect day without doing something for someone who will never be able to repay you.
John Wooden (1910-2010) American basketball player and coach
They Call Me Coach, ch. 8, epigram (1972)
(Source)
The one thing we can never get enough of is love. And the one thing we never give enough is love.
Henry Miller (1891-1980) American novelist
Insomnia, or The Devil at Large (1971)
As it is better to give than to receive, so it is better to share the fruit of one’s contemplation than merely to contemplate.
[Sicut enim maius est illuminare quam lucere solum, ita maius est contemplata aliis tradere quam solum contemplari.]
Thomas Aquinas (1225-1274) Italian friar, philosopher, theologian
Summa Theologica, 2a-2ae, “Treatise on the States of Life,” Q.188 “Of the Different Kinds of Religious Life” (1265-1274)
(Source)
Alt. trans.:
- "Just as it is better to illuminate than merely to shine, so to pass on what one has contemplated is better than merely to contemplate."
- "Better to illuminate than merely to shine; to deliver to others contemplated truths than merely to contemplate."
- "Better to light up than merely to shine, to deliver to others contemplated truths than merely to contemplate." [Source]
- "For even as it is better to enlighten than merely to shine, so it is better to give to others the fruits of one's contemplation than merely to contemplate." [Source]
Give as thou wouldest receive, cheerfully and quickly, without hesitation, or bargaining.
Thomas Fuller (1654-1734) English physician, preacher, aphorist, writer
Introductio ad Prudentiam, # 418 (1725)
(Source)
The wise lover does not consider so much the lover’s gift, as the giver’s love. He pays more attention to the giver’s affection than to the gift’s value, and he places less value on all gifts than he does on the beloved.
[Prudens amator non tam donum amantis, quam dantis considerat amorem. Affectum potius attendit, quam censum, et infra dilectum omnia data ponit.]
Thomas à Kempis (c. 1380-1471) German-Dutch priest, author
The Imitation of Christ [De Imitatione Christi], Book 3, ch. 6, v. 2 (3.6.2) (c. 1418-27) [tr. Creasy (1989)]
(Source)
(Source (Latin)). Alternate translations:
He that loves prudently, keeps his Eyes upon the Giver, considers the Kindness and Disposition of his Friend, and values the Gift by that, not by his own Quality and Instrinsick Worth.
[tr. Stanhope (1696; 1706 ed.), The Christian's Pattern]
And he that loves with purity, considers not the gift of the lover, but the love of the giver: he values the affection more than the tokens of it: esteems his beloved infinitely beyond the benefits he confers.
[tr. Payne (1803), 3.5.1]
A prudent lover considereth not so much the gift of his lover, as the love of the giver. He rather esteemeth the good will, then the value, and placeth all gifts under his beloved.
[tr. Page (1639), 3.6.5]
He that loves prudently, keeps his eyes upon the giver, considers the kindness and disposition of his friend, and values the gift by that, not by its own quality and intrinsic worth.
[tr. Stanhope (1696; 1809 ed.), The Christian's Pattern]
A considerate lover regardeth not so much the gift of Him who loves him, as the love of the Giver,He esteems the good will rather than the value [of the gift,] and sets all gifts below Him whom he loves.
[ed. Parker (1841)]
He that loves with purity, considers not the gift of the lover, but the love of the giver: he values the affection more than the tokens of it, and places all gifts infinitely below the donor.
[tr. Dibdin (1851), 3.5]
A wise lover considers not so much the gift of the lover as the love of the giver. He looks more at the goodwill than the value, and sets his beloved above all his gifts.
[ed. Bagster (1860)]
A wise lover considereth not so much the gift of his lover as he doth the love of the giver. He regardeth more the love than the gift, and accounteth all gifts little in comparison of his Beloved, who giveth them to him.
[tr. Whitford/Raynal (1530/1871)]
The prudent lover considereth not the gift of the lover so much as the love of the giver. He looketh for the affection more than the value, and setteth all gifts lower than the Beloved.
[tr. Benham (1874), 3.6.4]
A considerate lover regardeth not so much the gift of him who loves him, as the love of the giver. He esteems the good will rather than the value of the gift, and sets all gifts below him whom he loves.
[tr. Anon. (1901)]
The wise lover regards not so much the gift of Him Who loves as the love of Him Who gives. He regards the affection of the Giver rather than the value of the gift, and sets his Beloved above all gifts.
[tr. Croft/Bolton (1940)]
The wise lover does not so much consider a gift from the beloved, as the love of the giver. He turns to the feeling rather than the value, and sets all gifts below the one loved.
[tr. Daplyn (1952)]
A wise lover values not so much the gift of the lover, as the love of the giver. He esteems the affection above the gift, and values every gift far below the Beloved.
[tr. Sherley-Price (1952)]
An experienced lover heeds not so much the gift of the lover as the love of him that gave it. What he looks for is affection, not money; his Beloved is higher in his eyes than any gift.
[tr. Knox-Oakley (1959)]
A wise lover does not look at the gift of the one who loves him, but at the love of the giver. He weighs the affection and not the value; and he thinks more of the Beloved than of what the Beloved has to give.
[tr. Knott (1962)]
The prudent lover considers not so much the lover's gift as the love of the giver. He looks at the love that gave the gift rather than the cost. He places the beloved above all.
[tr. Rooney (1979)]
