Why would we worry what others think of us if their opinions did not change us?
James Richardson (b. 1950) American poet
Vectors: Aphorisms and Ten-Second Essays, #387 (2001)
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There are silences harder to take back than words.
James Richardson (b. 1950) American poet
“Vectors: 56 Aphorisms and Ten-second Essays,” Michigan Quarterly Review, # 3 (Spring 1999)
(Source)
The man in the factory who has had to batter his way up through life in order to exist; the woman in the household, fending for her husband, her children; wary of deceit and false-dealing and bullying in the course of her busy day, know (and knew) instinctively that the bully must be met with instant repulse or he multiplies his own violence. A placated bully is a hand-fed bully. A Chamberlain, creapping home under the protection of his umbrella, tricked and ridiculed by the enemy, mouthing the peace-in-our-time fallacy, can cause the destruction of our world; and nearly did. One thing I’ve learned in life; you cannot placate the power-mad. You must — to paraphrase an old saying — take the bully by the horns. Early.
Edna Ferber (1886-1968) American author and playwright
A Kind of Magic: An Autobiography (1963)
(Source)
If you can’t change your fate, change your attitude.
Reason allows us to determine when our wishes are in irrevocable conflict with reality, and then bids us to submit ourselves willingly, rather than angrily or bitterly, to necessities. We may be powerless to alter certain events, but we remain free to choose our attitude towards them, and it is in our spontaneous acceptance of necessity that we find our distinctive freedom.
Alain de Botton (b. 1969) Swiss-British author
The Consolations of Philosophy, ch. 3 “Consolation for Frustration”(2000)
(Source)
Don’t agonize, organize.
Florynce "Flo" Kennedy (1916-2000) American lawyer, feminist, civil rights activist
(Attributed)
(Source)
Quoted in Gloria Steinem, "The Verbal Karate of Florynce R. Kennedy, Esq.," Ms. (Mar 1973).
“My lord,” said Lar, falling back upon the single statement that a servant may always rely upon when any other response is fraught with peril.
Steven Brust (b. 1955) American writer, systems programmer
The Lord of Castle Black (2003)
To persevere in one’s duty and be silent is the best answer to calumny.
George Washington (1732-1799) American military leader, Founding Father, US President (1789-1797)
Letter to William Livingston (7 Dec 1779)
There is nothing more galling to angry people than the coolness of those on whom they wish to vent their spleen.
Alexandre Dumas, père (1802-1870) French novelist and dramatist
The Black Tulip [La Tulipe Noire], ch. 28 (1850)
Never complain and never explain.
Benjamin Disraeli (1804-1881) English politician and author
(Attributed)
Regarding attacks on him in Parliament. Quoted in John Morley, Life of William Ewart Gladstone (1903).
Calumny is like a wasp which harasses you. Raise no hand against it unless you’re sure of killing it, for otherwise it will return to the charge more furious than ever.
Nicolas Chamfort (1741-1794) French writer, epigrammist (b. Nicolas-Sébastien Roch)
Maxims and Thoughts, #302 (1796)
(Source)
Alt. trans.: "Calumny is like the wasp which worries you, which it were best not to try to get rid of unless you are sure of slaying it; for otherwise it will return to the charge more furious than ever."
Silence is the unbearable repartee.
Gilbert Keith Chesterton (1874-1936) English journalist and writer
The Illustrated London News (30 Sep 1933)
To listen closely and reply well is the highest perfection we are able to attain in the art of conversation.
François VI, duc de La Rochefoucauld (1613-1680) French epigrammatist, memoirist, noble
Réflexions ou sentences et maximes morales [Maxims] (1665-1678)
If a donkey bray at you, don’t bray at him.
(Other Authors and Sources)
English proverb
It is always easier to hear an insult and not retaliate than have the courage to fight back against someone stronger than yourself; we can always say we’re not hurt by the stones others throw at us, and it’s only at night — when we’re alone and our wife or our husband or our school friend is asleep — that we can silently grieve over our own cowardice.
Paulo Coelho (b. 1947) Brazilian spiritual writer
The Devil and Miss Prym (2000)
Sir, calumnies are answer’d best with silence.
Life is 10 percent what you make it and 90 percent how you take it.
Irving Berlin (1888-1989) American songwriter [b. Isidore Beilin]
(Attributed)
(Source)
Attributed as a comment made by Berlin during a performance of the show This is the Army, Mr. Jones at the Palladium in London in 1943.
Also sometimes attributed to Benjamin Franklin.
We who lived in concentration camps can remember the men who walked through the huts comforting others, giving away their last piece of bread. They may have been few in number, but they offer sufficient proof that everything can be taken away from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms — to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.
Viktor Frankl (1905-1997) German-American psychologist, writer
Man’s Search for Meaning, Part 1 (1959)
(Source)
In the midst of great joy, do not promise anyone anything. In the midst of great anger, do not answer anyone’s letter.
(Other Authors and Sources)
Chinese proverb
We cannot prevent the birds of sorrow from flying over our heads, but we can refuse to let them build their nests in our hair.
(Other Authors and Sources)
Chinese proverb