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josh billings - lion lamb - 1875-09Thare may cum a time, when the Lion, and the Lam will lie down together, — i shall be az glad to see it az enny boddy, — but i am still betting on the Lion.

[There may come a time, when the Lion and the Lamb will like down together — I shall be as glad to see it as anybody — but I am still betting on the Lion.]

Josh Billings (1818-1885) American humorist, aphorist [pseud. of Henry Wheeler Shaw]
Josh Billings’ Farmer’s Allminax, 1875-09 (1875 ed.)
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Added on 2-Oct-25 | Last updated 2-Oct-25
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“Will you walk into my parlour?” said a spider to a fly:
“‘Tis the prettiest little parlour that ever you did spy.”

mary howitt
Mary Howitt (1799-1888) English poet
Poem (1828), “The Spider and the Fly,” st. 1, The New Year’s Gift and Juvenile Souvenir [ed. Mrs. Alaric Watts]
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Variant: “Step into my parlor, said the spider to the fly …”

The poem has been parodied frequently, including by Lewis Carroll's "Mock Turtle's Song." More information about this poem here.
 
Added on 18-Sep-25 | Last updated 8-Sep-25
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[…] [P]redatory wealth — of the wealth accumulated on a giant scale by all forms of iniquity, ranging from the oppression of wageworkers to unfair and unwholesome methods of crushing out competition, and to defrauding the public by stock jobbing and the manipulation of securities.
Certain wealthy men of this stamp, whose conduct should be abhorrent to every man of ordinarily decent conscience, and who commit the hideous wrong of teaching our young men that phenomenal business success must ordinarily be based on dishonesty, have during the last few months made it apparent that they have banded together to work for a reaction. Their endeavor is to overthrow and discredit all who honestly administer the law, to prevent any additional legislation which would check and restrain them, and to secure if possible a freedom from all restraint which will permit every unscrupulous wrongdoer to do what he wishes unchecked provided he has enough money.

Theodore Roosevelt (1858-1919) American politician, statesman, conservationist, writer, US President (1901-1909)
Message (1908-01-31) to Congress, on Workers Compensation
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Added on 5-Jul-25 | Last updated 5-Jul-25
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EDIBLE, adj. Good to eat, and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake to a pig, a pig to a man, and a man to a worm.

Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914?) American writer and journalist
“Edible,” The Cynic’s Word Book (1906)
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Included in The Devil's Dictionary (1911). Originally published in the "Devil's Dictionary" column in the San Francisco Wasp (1882-12-23).
 
Added on 23-Apr-24 | Last updated 23-Apr-24
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Democracy is the theory that two thieves will steal less than one, and three less than two, and four less than three, and so on ad infinitum.

H. L. Mencken (1880-1956) American writer and journalist [Henry Lewis Mencken]
A Little Book in C Major, ch. 5, § 25 (1916)
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Variant:

DEMOCRACY. The theory that two thieves will steal less than one, and three less than two, and four less than three, and so on ad infinitum.
A Book of Burlesques, "The Jazz Webster" (1924)
 
Added on 31-Jan-24 | Last updated 31-Jan-24
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The time is passed when you could have a happy minority living upon the misery of the great mass. That time is passed. People won’t acquiesce in it, and you will have to learn to put up with the knowledge that your neighbor is also happy, if you want to be happy yourself. I think, if people are wisely educated, they will have a more expansive nature and will find no difficulty in allowing the happiness of others as a necessary condition of their own.

Bertrand Russell
Bertrand Russell (1872-1970) English mathematician and philosopher
Interview by Woodrow Wyatt, BBC TV (1959)

Collected in Bertrand Russell's BBC Interviews (1959) [UK] and Bertrand Russell Speaks His Mind (1960) [US].
 
Added on 17-Jan-24 | Last updated 17-Jan-24
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The kiss originated when the first male reptile licked the first female reptile, implying in a subtle, complimentary way that she was as succulent as the small reptile he had for dinner the night before.

F. Scott Fitzgerald (1896-1940) American writer [Francis Scott Key Fitzgerald]
Notebook E “Epigrams, Wisecracks and Jokes,” § 436 (1932-1940)

Originally collected in Edmund Wilson, ed., The Crack-Up (1945), then in the unexpurgated Matthew Bruccoli, ed., Notebooks of F. Scott Fitzgerald (1978).
 
Added on 8-Jan-24 | Last updated 8-Jan-24
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The nobility, say nobles, serves as intermediary between king and people. True, just as the hound serves as intermediary between hunter and hares.
 
[«La noblesse, disent les nobles, est une intermédiaire entre le roi et le peuple…» Oui, comme le chien de chasse est un intermédiaire entre le chasseur et les lièvres.]

Nicolas Chamfort
Nicolas Chamfort (1741-1794) French writer, epigrammist (b. Nicolas-Sébastien Roch)
Products of Perfected Civilization [Produits de la Civilisation Perfectionée], Part 1 “Maxims and Thoughts [Maximes et Pensées],” ch. 8, ¶ 511 (1795) [tr. Dusinberre (1992)]
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(Source (French)). Alternate translations:

The nobility, say the nobles, is an intermediary between the king and the people.... Precisely; just as the hound is the intermediary between the huntsman and the hares.
[tr. Hutchinson (1902)]

The Nobility, its members say, is an intermediary between the King and the People. .... Exactly, just as hounds are intermediary between men and hares.
[tr. Mathers (1926), ¶ 512]

“The nobility,” say the nobles, “is an intermediary between the king and the people . . .” No doubt: just as the hunting dog is an intermediary between the hunter and the hares.
[tr. Merwin (1969)]

"The nobility," say the nobles, "is a go-between twixt the king and the people ..." Yes, just as the hunting dog is the go-between twixt the huntsman and the hares.
[tr. Pearson (1973)]

"The nobility", say the nobles, "is an intermediary between the king and the people ..." Yes, like a hunting dog is an intermediary between a hunter and hares.
[tr. Siniscalchi (1994), ¶ 511]

"We're the intermediary between the king and his subjects," claim the nobility. Yes indeed -- and the hound is the intermediary between the hunter and the hare.
[tr. Parmée (2003), ¶ 269]

 
Added on 27-Nov-23 | Last updated 27-Nov-23
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THIRD FISHERMAN: Master, I marvel how the fishes live in the sea.
FIRST FISHERMAN: Why, as men do a-land: the great ones eat up the little ones.

Shakespeare
William Shakespeare (1564-1616) English dramatist and poet
Pericles, Act 2, sc. 1, l. 28ff (2.1.28-29) [with George Wilkins]
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Added on 10-Nov-21 | Last updated 8-Feb-24
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“Oh, what would you like on your vegetarian pizza?”
“Dead pigs and cows,” I said.
She glanced up at me and wrinkled her nose.
“They’re vegetarians,” I said defensively.

Jim Butcher (b. 1971) American author
Blood Rites (2004)
 
Added on 30-Dec-14 | Last updated 30-Dec-14
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Freedom for the pike is death for the minnow.

R. H. Tawney (1880-1962) English writer, economist, historian, social critic [Richard Henry Tawney]
Equality (1931)

Sometimes cited an English proverb, or attributed to Isaiah Berlin.
 
Added on 11-Jan-13 | Last updated 4-Sep-16
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CALVIN: (walking through snowy field) You know, Hobbes, it seems the only time most people go outside is to walk to their cars. We have houses, electricity, plumbing, heat …. Maybe we’re so sheltered and comfortable that we’ve lost touch with the natural world and forgotten our place in it. Maybe we’ve lost our awe of nature. That’s why I want to ask you, as a tiger, a wild animal close to Nature, what you think we’re put on Earth to do. What’s our purpose in life? Why are we here?

HOBBES: (stating the obvious) We’re here to devour each other alive.

CALVIN: (back in the house, yelling) Turn on the lights! Turn up the heat!

calvin & hobbes (1991-01-06)

Bill Watterson (b. 1958) American cartoonist
Calvin and Hobbes (1991-01-06)
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Added on 1-Feb-04 | Last updated 5-Aug-25
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