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Punctuality is the politeness of kings.

[L’exactitude est la politesse des rois.]

Louis XVIII (1755-1824) French monarch (1814-1824) ["Louis the Desired"]
(Attributed)

Attributed in Souvenirs de J. Lafitte (1844)
 
Added on 15-May-17 | Last updated 15-May-17
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LARGE MAN WITH DEAD BODY: Who’s that then?

THE DEAD COLLECTOR: I dunno, must be a king.

LARGE MAN WITH DEAD BODY: Why?

THE DEAD COLLECTOR: He hasn’t got shit all over him.

Monty Python (contemp.) British comedy troupe
Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975)
 
Added on 27-May-16 | Last updated 27-May-16
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When I was a fighting man, the kettle-drum they beat,
The people scattered gold-dust before my horse’s feet;
But now I am a great king, the people hound my track
With poison in my wine-cup, and daggers at my back.

Robert E. Howard (1906-1936) American author
“The Phoenix on the Sword” (1932)
 
Added on 25-Apr-16 | Last updated 25-Apr-16
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Sail, quoth the King; hold, saith the Wind.

Thomas Fuller (1654-1734) English writer, physician
Gnomologia: Adages and Proverbs, #4064 (1732)
    (Source)
 
Added on 5-May-11 | Last updated 26-Jan-21
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And his hands would plait the priest’s entrails,
For want of a rope, to strangle kings.

[Et ses mains ourdiraient les entrailles du prêtre,
Au défaut d’un cordon pour étrangler les rois.]

Denis Diderot (1713-1784) French editor, philosopher
Poésies Diverses, “Les Éleuthéromanes” (1875)

Alt. trans. "His hands would plait the priest’s guts, if he had no rope, to strangle kings."

Derived from a statement attributed (but not confirmed) to Jean Meslier: "I would like — and this would be the last and most ardent of my wishes — I would like the last of the kings to be strangled by the guts of the last priest."

Variant: "Let us strangle the last king with the guts of the last priest."
[Et des boyaux du dernier prêtre / Serrons le cou du dernier roi.]

This version was attributed to Diderot in Jean-François de La Harpe,  Cours de Littérature Ancienne et Moderne (1840)

Sometimes paraphrased as, ""Men will never be free until the last king is strangled with the entrails of the last priest," etc.
 
Added on 20-Nov-08 | Last updated 24-Jul-20
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I shall be an autocrat: that’s my trade. And the good Lord will forgive me: that’s his.

[Moi, je serai autocrate: c’est mon metier. Et le bon Dieu me pardonnnera: c’est son metier.]

Catherine II (1762-1796) Russian empress [Catherine the Great; b. Sophie of Anhalt-Zerbst]
(Attributed)
 
Added on 1-Feb-04 | Last updated 21-Feb-14
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KING ARTHUR: I am your king.

WOMAN: Well, I didn’t vote for you.

KING ARTHUR: You don’t vote for kings.

WOMAN: Well how’d you become king then?

KING ARTHUR: [angelic music plays] The Lady of the Lake, her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite, held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water, signifying by divine providence that I, Arthur, was to carry Excalibur. That is why I am your king.

DENNIS: [interrupting] Listen, strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.

Monty Python (contemp.) British comedy troupe
Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975)
    (Source)
 
Added on 1-Feb-04 | Last updated 4-Sep-22
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