We all ov us beleave that we are the espeshall favourites ov fortune, but fortune don’t beleave enny sutch thing.
[We all of us believe that we are the especial favorites of fortune, but fortune don’t believe any such thing.]Josh Billings (1818–1885) American humorist, aphorist [pseud. of Henry Wheeler Shaw]
Josh Billings’ Trump Kards, ch. 8 “Lager Beer and Spruce Gum” (1874)
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Quotations by:
Billings, Josh
It iz very eazy to manage our nabors bizzness, but our own sumtimes bothers us.
[It is very easy to manage our neighbors’ business, but our own sometimes bothers us.]
Josh Billings (1818–1885) American humorist, aphorist [pseud. of Henry Wheeler Shaw]
Josh Billings’ Trump Kards, ch. 8 “Lager Beer and Spruce Gum” (1874)
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Thoze people who are trieing to git to heaven on their kreed will find out at last that they didn’t hav a thru ticket.
[Those people who are trying to get to heaven on their creed will find out at last that they didn’t have a through ticket.]
Josh Billings (1818–1885) American humorist, aphorist [pseud. of Henry Wheeler Shaw]
Josh Billings’ Trump Kards, ch. 9 “The Ram and Crawfish” (1874)
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Natur seldum makes a phool, she simply furnishes the raw materials, and lets the fellow finish the job to suit himself.
[Nature seldom makes a fool, she simply furnishes the raw materials and lets the fellow finish the job to suit himself.]
I kant help but respekt the man who haint got enny failings, but i dont seem to luv him, he iz too diffrent from me.
[I can’t help but respect the man who ain’t got any failings, but I don’t seem to love him; he is too different from me.]
Be mersiphull to all the dum animals — no man can ride into heaven, on a sore-backed horse.
[Be merciful to all the dumb animals — no man can ride into heaven on a sore-backed horse.]
Josh Billings (1818–1885) American humorist, aphorist [pseud. of Henry Wheeler Shaw]
Josh Billings’ Trump Kards, ch. 11 “The Mermaid” (1874)
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Munny will buy a pretty good dog, but it wont buy the wag ov hiz tale.
[Money will buy a pretty good dog, but it won’t buy the wag of his tail.]
Josh Billings (1818–1885) American humorist, aphorist [pseud. of Henry Wheeler Shaw]
Josh Billings’ Trump Kards, ch. 14 “A Ghost” (1874)
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When yu hav bored the bulls eye, set down, and keep still, folks will think then that yu kan hit it enny time you hav a mind to.
[When you have bored the bullseye, sit down, and keep still; folks will think then that you can hit it any time you have a mind to.]
Josh Billings (1818–1885) American humorist, aphorist [pseud. of Henry Wheeler Shaw]
Josh Billings’ Trump Kards, ch. 14 “A Ghost” (1874)
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Thare iz two men, prowling around, who want cluss watching, the one, that iz allwuz praizing, and the one, who iz allwuz kondeming, himself.
[There are two men, prowling around, who want close watching: the one that is always praising, and the one who is always condemning, himself.]
Josh Billings (1818–1885) American humorist, aphorist [pseud. of Henry Wheeler Shaw]
Josh Billings’ Trump Kards, ch. 14 “A Ghost” (1874)
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