God bears with imperfect beings, even when they resist his goodness. We ought to imitate this merciful patience and endurance. It is only imperfection that complains of what is imperfect. The more perfect we are the more gentle and quiet we become towards the defects of others.
François Fénelon (1651-1715) French Catholic archbishop, theologian, poet, writer [François de Salignac de la Mothe-Fénelon]
Letter (1710-10-11) to Duchess de Montemart
(Source)
Sometimes misattributed to Joseph Addison.
This is a shortened version, from Selections from the Writings of Fénelon, Letter 37 [tr. Follen (1829)], of a passage given in Fénelon's Letters to Women, Letter 116 [tr. Lear (1921)] as:Sometimes even it is necessary to imitate God's dealings with souls, Who often so softens His rebuke that the person rebuked feels rather as though he were accusing himself than being accused. Anything like impatient reproof from being shocked at great faults becomes a very human correction, not that of grace.Our own imperfection makes us hasty to rebuke the imperfect, and it is a very subtle and ll-permeating self-love which cannot forgive the self-love of others. The stronger it is, the more critical the censor will be: there is nothing so irritating to a proud, self-willed mind, as the self-will of a neighbor; and another man's passions seem intolerably ridiculous and unbearable to one who is given up to his own. But he who is full oft he love of God, on the contrary, is full of forbearance, consideration, and indulgence. He waits and adapts himself, and goes softly, one step at a time: the less self-love he has, the more he tolerates that of others in order to heal it.
Quotations about:
forbearance
Note not all quotations have been tagged, so Search may find additional quotes on this topic.
PATIENCE, n. A minor form of despair, disguised as a virtue.
Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914?) American writer and journalist
“Patience,” The Devil’s Dictionary (1911)
(Source)
Originally published in the "Cynic's Word Book" column in the New York American (1904-12-26), and the "Cynic's Dictionary" column in the San Francisco Examiner (1905-01-03).
To describe someone as a “criminal” is both to mark that person with a terrifying permanent character trait and simultaneously to place the person outside the circle of “us.” They are criminals. We make mistakes.
Jason Stanley (b. 1969) American philosopher, epistemologist, academic
How Fascism Works: The Politics of Us and Them, ch. 7 (2018)
(Source)
PHILINTE: And if goodness were found on every side,
If all men’s hearts were docile, frank, and just,
Most of our virtues would but gather rust,
Since they can serve to help us calmly bear
The injustices that face us everywhere.[Et si de probité tout était revêtu,
Si tous les cœurs étaient francs, justes, et dociles,
La plupart des vertus nous seraient inutiles,
Puisqu’on en met l’usage à pouvoir sans ennui
Supporter, dans nos droits, l’injustice d’autrui.]Molière (1622-1673) French playwright, actor [stage name for Jean-Baptiste Poquelin]
Le Misanthrope, Act 5, sc. 1, ll. 1564ff (1666) [tr. Frame (1967)]
(Source)
(Source (French)). Alternate translations:If probity reigned everywhere, if all hearts were candid, just, and tractable, most of our virtues would be useless to us, inasmuch as their functions are to bear, without annoyance, the injustices of others in our good cause.
[tr. Van Laun (1878)]If everything were clothed with integrity, and all hearts were frank, just, and docile, most of our virtue would be useless, since we can only use them in bearing the injustice of others in respect to our rights.
[tr. Mathew (1890)]If everyone were clothed with integrity,
If every heart were just, frank, kindly,
The other virtues would be well-nigh useless,
Since their chief purpose is to make us bear with patience
The injustice of our fellows.
[tr. Wormeley (1894)]If probity reigned everywhere, if all hearts were open, just and tractable, most of our virtues would be useless to us, for their office is to bear, without annoyance, the injustice of others when we have justice on our side.
[tr. Waller (1903)]If everything were clothed in probity,
If all men's hearts were open, just, gentle,
Most of our virtues would be wholly useless,
Since we employ them now, in cheerfully
Enduring wrong, with right on our side.
[tr. Page (1913)]If honesty shone forth from all men's eyes,
If every heart were frank and kind and just,
What could our virtues do but gather dust
(Since their employment is to help us bear
The villainies of men without despair)?
[tr. Wilbur (1954)]If truth and rectitude were universal,
If every heart were frank and reasonable,
Most of the virtues would be meaningless,
Because they enable us to bear serenely
The injustice of others, when our cause is just.
[tr. Bishop (1957)]
I have always found that mercy bears richer fruits than strict justice.
Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865) American lawyer, politician, US President (1861-65)
Comment (1864, Summer)
(Source)
Recalled by his long-time friend, Joseph Gillespie, regarding pardons for some army deserters, in O. Oldroyd, The Lincoln Memorial: Album-Immortelles (1882).
Often attributed to a speech in Washington (1865), but I can find nothing in his collected works or in Presidential paper collections.
Allowing an unimportant mistake to pass without a comment is a wonderful social grace […] Children who have the habit of constantly correcting should be stopped before they grow up to drive spouses and everyone else crazy by interrupting stories to say, “No, dear — it was Tuesday, not Wednesday.”
Judith Martin (b. 1938) American author, journalist, etiquette expert [a.k.a. Miss Manners]
(Attributed)
Widely attributed to Martin, but I am unable to find an original source.
