Nothing exerts a stronger psychic effect upon the human environment, and especially upon children, than the life which the parents have not lived.
Carl Jung (1875-1961) Swiss psychologist
Lecture (1929-06), “Paracelsus,” Literary Club of Zurich, Paracelsus House, Einsiedeln, Schwyz, Switzerland [tr. Hull (1966)]
(Source)
(Publication notes.) Collected in The Spirit in Man, Art, and Literature, Part 1, "Paracelsus," ¶ 3 (1929).
Quotations about:
childrearing
Note not all quotations have been tagged, so Search may find additional quotes on this topic.
If you tell children that they ought to be affectionate, you run the risk of producing cant and humbug. But if you make them happy and free, if you surround them with kindness, you will find that they become spontaneously friendly with everybody, and that almost everybody responds by being friendly with them. A trustful affectionate disposition justifies itself, because it gives irresistible charm, and creates the response which it expects. This is one of the most important results to be expected from the right education of character.
Bertrand Russell (1872-1970) English mathematician and philosopher
Education and the Good Life, Part 2, ch. 11 “Affection and Sympathy” (1926)
(Source)
We are being very careful with our children. They’ll never have to pay a psychiatrist twenty-five dollars an hour to find out why we rejected them. We’ll tell them why we rejected them. Because they’re impossible, that’s why.
Jean Kerr (1922-2003) American author and playwright [b. Bridget Jean Collins]
Essay (1957), “Please Don’t Eat the Daisies,” Please Don’t Eat the Daisies
(Source)
The values communicated by status-insecure parents are such that their children learn to put personal success and the acquisition of power above all else. They are taught to judge people for their usefulness rather than their likableness. Their friends, and even future marriage partners, are selected and used in the service of personal advancement; love and affection take second place to knowing the right people. They are taught to eschew weaknesses and passivity, to respect authority, and to despise those who have not made the socio-economic grade. Success is equated with social esteem and material advantage, rather than with more spiritual values.
Norman F. Dixon (1922-2013) British cognitive psychologist, author, military engineer
On the Psychology of Military Incompetence, Part 2, ch. 22 “Authoritarianism” (1976)
(Source)
I have known some pacifists who wished history taught without reference to wars, and thought that children should be kept as long as possible ignorant of the cruelty in the world. But I cannot praise the “fugitive and cloistered virtue” that depends upon absence of knowledge. As soon as history is taught at all, it should be taught truthfully. If true history contradicts any moral we wish to teach, our moral must be wrong, and we had better abandon it. I quite admit that many people, including some of the most virtuous, find facts inconvenient, but that is due to a certain feebleness in their virtue. A truly robust morality can only be strengthened by the fullest knowledge of what really happens in the world.
Bertrand Russell (1872-1970) English mathematician and philosopher
Education and the Good Life, Part 2, ch. 11 “Affection and Sympathy” (1926)
(Source)
It’s frightening to think that you mark your children merely by being yourself.
[C’est effrayant de penser qu’on marque ses enfants rien que par ce qu’on est.]
Simone de Beauvoir (1908-1986) French author, existentialist philosopher, feminist theorist
Les Belles Images, ch. 3 (1966) [tr. O’Brian (1968)]
(Source)
There’s no way to repay a mother’s love, or lack of it.
Mignon McLaughlin (1913-1983) American journalist and author
The Second Neurotic’s Notebook, ch. 2 (1966)
(Source)
If your children spend most of their time in other people’s houses, you’re lucky; if they all congregate at your house, you’re blessed.
Mignon McLaughlin (1913-1983) American journalist and author
The Second Neurotic’s Notebook, ch. 2 (1966)
(Source)
The ideal home: big enough for you to hear the children, but not very well.
Mignon McLaughlin (1913-1983) American journalist and author
The Second Neurotic’s Notebook, ch. 2 (1966)
(Source)
Our children know we lie to them, but not — thank God — how much.
Mignon McLaughlin (1913-1983) American journalist and author
The Neurotic’s Notebook, ch. 2 (1963)
(Source)
The fault no child ever loses is the one he was most punished for.
Mignon McLaughlin (1913-1983) American journalist and author
The Neurotic’s Notebook, ch. 2 (1963)
(Source)
We start out determined to see that our children are good; we soon settle for having them nice.
Mignon McLaughlin (1913-1983) American journalist and author
The Neurotic’s Notebook, ch. 2 (1963)
(Source)
We are all born rude. No infant has ever appeared yet with the grace to understand how inconsiderate it is to disturb others in the middle of the night.
Judith Martin (b. 1938) American author, journalist, etiquette expert [a.k.a. Miss Manners]
Common Courtesy, “In the Quest for Equality, Civilization Itself Is Maligned” (1985)
(Source)
Children have an uncanny way of living up — or down — to what is expected of them.
Ann Landers (1918-2002) American advice columnist [pseud. for Eppie Lederer]
“Parenthood: What Do You Owe Your Children?” Family Circle (1977-11)
(Source)
Collected in The Ann Landers Encyclopedia (1978).
The superstition into which we’re born,
Even when we recognize it, loses not
Its power on us! Not all those are free
Who ridicule their chains.[Der Aberglaub’, in dem wir aufgewachsen,
Verliert, auch wenn wir ihn erkennen, darum
Doch seine Macht nicht über uns. — Es sind
Nicht alle frei, die ihrer Ketten spotten.]Gotthold Lessing (1729-1781) German playwright, philosopher, dramaturg, writer
Nathan the Wise [Nathan der Weise], Act 4, sc. 4 [Templar] (1779) [tr. Corbett (1883)]
(Source)
(Source (German)). Alternate translations:Yet the superstition
in which we have grown up, not therefore loses
when we detect it, all its influence on us.
Not all are free that can bemock their fetters.
[tr. Taylor (1790)]The superstition in which we grew up,
Does not cease influencing us, e'en after
We have discover'd its absurdity.
Not all are free who do bemock their fetters.
[tr. Reich (1860)]The superstition in which we were brought up never loses its power over us, even after we understand it.
[Source (1866)]And yet the superstitions we have learned
From education, do not lose their power
When we have found them out; nor are all free
Whose judgment mocks the galling chains they wear.
[tr. Boylan (1878)]The superstition in which we have grown up
Does not lose (even if we see through it)
Its power on us, on that account;
All are not free who mock their chains.
[tr. Jacks (1894)]The superstitions of our early years,
E'en when we know them to be nothing more,
Lose not for that their hold upon our hearts;
Not all are free who ridicule their chains.
[tr. Maxwell (1917)]The superstition in which we have grown up does not lose its power over us even for the reason that we recognize it as such. Not all are free who mock their chains.
[tr. Reinhardt (1950)]The superstition in which we grew up,
Though we may recognize it, does not lose
Its power over us -- Not all are free
Who make mock of their chains.
[tr. Morgan (1955)]Merely because we see the defects of the superstition we grew up in, it doesn't lose its hold upon our souls! Those men who mock their chains are not all free!
[tr. Ade (1972)]
Parents are often so busy with the physical rearing of children that they miss the glory of parenthood, just as the grandeur of trees is lost when raking leaves.
Marcelene Cox (1900-1998) American writer, columnist, aphorist
“Ask Any Woman” column, Ladies’ Home Journal (1945-05)
(Source)
A sparkling house is a fine thing if the children aren’t robbed of their luster in keeping it that way.
Marcelene Cox (1900-1998) American writer, columnist, aphorist
“Ask Any Woman” column, Ladies’ Home Journal (1945-11)
(Source)
As is always the case, parenting is an exercise in unintended consequences.
Stacy Schiff (b. 1961) American editor, essayist, biographer
“Obama’s Mother Ann Dunham Shaped His Success,” Newsweek (2011-05-01)
(Source)
The world is not always a kind place. That’s something all children learn for themselves, whether we want them to or not, but it’s something they really need our help to understand.
Fred Rogers (1928-2003) American educator, minister, songwriter, television host ["Mister Rogers"]
You Are Special (1994)
Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.Kahlil Gibran (1883-1931) Lebanese-American poet, writer, painter [Gibran Khalil Gibran]
“On Children,” The Prophet (1923)
(Source)
A child miseducated is a child lost.
John F. Kennedy (1917-1963) American politician, author, journalist, US President (1961–63)
State of the Union address (1962-01-11)
This quotation is usually attributed to Kennedy's 1963 State of the Union Address, but it does not show up in the formal text or the video recording.
It actually appears to be from his 1962 State of the Union address; while it does not appear in the text or the audio recording, it does show up in a copy in Vital Speeches and Documents of the Day, Vol. 2 (1961). There are other small textual changes to the speech in that version, which may reflect a press release version before or after the actual speech.
For there are two ways of dealing with nonsense in this world. One way is to put nonsense in the right place; as when people put nonsense into nursery rhymes. The other is to put nonsense in the wrong place; as when they put it into educational addresses, psychological criticisms, and complaints against nursery rhymes or other normal amusements of mankind.
Gilbert Keith Chesterton (1874-1936) English journalist and writer
Essay (1921-10-15), “Child Psychology and Nonsense,” closing words, Illustrated London News, “Our Notebook” column
(Source)
