Liberty is the capacity to do anything that does no harm to others.
(Other Authors and Sources)
Declaration of the Rights of Man and the Citizen, France, Article IV (26 Aug. 1789)
THE DOCTOR: To the rational mind, nothing is inexplicable; only unexplained.
(Other Authors and Sources)
Doctor Who (1963)
ANYA: Look, I know you find me attractive; I’ve seen you looking at my breasts.
XANDER: Nothing personal, but when a guy does that, it just means his eyes are open.(Other Authors and Sources)
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
“I can’t remember if I’m the good twin or the evil one.”
Sig Lines
~
I am returning this otherwise good typing paper to you because someone has printed gibberish all over it and put your name at the top.
(Other Authors and Sources)
English Professor, University of Ohio
“A polar bear is a rectangular bear after a coordinate transform.”
Sig Lines
~
Examine what is said, not him who speaks.
(Other Authors and Sources)
Arab proverb
“I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.”
Sig Lines
~
“Early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.”
Sig Lines
~
“Eagles may soar, but weasels don’t get sucked into jet engines.”
Sig Lines
~
“Yes, I am an Agent of Evil. However, my duties are largely ceremonial.”
Sig Lines
~
“Alcohol and calculus don’t mix. Never drink and derive.”
Sig Lines
~
MAYOR: I swear, I would sell my soul for a decent short game. Of course, it’s a little late for that. I don’t suppose I could offer your soul, huh? Really help me on the green.
(Other Authors and Sources)
Buffy the Vampire Slayer, “Lover’s Walk”
Confessed faults are half mended.
(Other Authors and Sources)
Scottish proverb
Be not afraid of growing slowly, be afraid only of standing still.
(Other Authors and Sources)
Chinese proverb
XANDER: You up for a little reconnaissance?
BUFFY: You mean where we all sculpt and paint and stuff?
XANDER: No, that was the Renaissance.
BUFFY: Oh. I’ve had a really long week.(Other Authors and Sources)
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
GILES: I suppose there is a sort of Machiavellian ingenuity to your transgression.
XANDER: I resent that! Or possibly, thank you.(Other Authors and Sources)
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
MAYOR: Be careful not put someone’s eye out with that thing … until I tell you to.
(Other Authors and Sources)
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
MAYOR: There’s more than one way to skin a cat. And I happen to know that’s factually true.
(Other Authors and Sources)
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
STUDENT: Have you accepted Jesus Christ as your personal savior?
BUFFY: You know I meant to, and then I just got really busy…(Other Authors and Sources)
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Go, eat your bread in gladness, and drink your wine in joy.
The Bible (The Old Testament) (14th - 2nd C BC) Judeo-Christian sacred scripture [Tanakh, Hebrew Bible], incl. the Apocrypha (Deuterocanonicals)
Ecclesiastes 9:7 [JPS (1985)]
(Source)
Alternate translations:Go thy way, eat thy bread with joy, and drink thy wine with a merry heart.
[KJV (1611)]Go, eat your bread with joy and drink your wine with a glad heart.
[JB (1966)]Go ahead -- eat your food and be happy; drink your wine and be cheerful.
[GNT (1976)]Go, eat your bread with enjoyment and drink your wine with a merry heart.
[NRSV (1989 ed.)]
All parts should go together without forcing. You must remember that the parts you are reassembling were disassembled by you. Therefore, if you can’t get them together again, there must be a reason. By all means, do not use a hammer.
(Other Authors and Sources)
IBM maintenance manual (1925)
“That’s it! I’m calling the Mother Ship!”
Sig Lines
~
Talk doesn’t cook rice.
(Other Authors and Sources)
Chinese proverb
LORD PALMERDALE: Are you in charge here?
THE DOCTOR: No, but I’m full of ideas.Terrance Dicks (1935-2019) English screenwriter, author [pseud. Robin Bland]
Doctor Who, “The Horror of Fang Rock” (1977)
If I speak in the tongues of humans and of angels but do not have love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal.
The Bible (The New Testament) (AD 1st - 2nd C) Christian sacred scripture
1 Corinthians 13:1 [NRSV (2021 ed.)]
(Source)
Alternate translations:Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not charity, I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal.
[KJV (1611)]If I have all the eloquence of men or of angels, but speak without love, I am simply a gong booming or a cymbal clashing.
[JB (1966)]I may be able to speak the languages of human beings and even of angels, but if I have no love, my speech is no more than a noisy gong or a clanging bell.
[GNT (1976)]Though I command languages both human and angelic -- if I speak without love, I am no more than a gong booming or a cymbal clashing.
[NJB (1985)]If I speak in tongues of human beings and of angels but I don’t have love, I’m a clanging gong or a clashing cymbal.
[CEB (2011)]
Render therefore unto Caesar the things which are Caesar’s; and unto God the things that are God’s.
The Bible (The New Testament) (AD 1st - 2nd C) Christian sacred scripture
Matthew 22:21
The story is told of Picasso that a stranger in a railway carriage accosted him with the challenge, “Why don’t you paint things as they really are.” Picasso demurred, saying that he did not quite understand what the gentleman meant, and the stranger then produced from his wallet a photograph of his wife. “I mean,” he said, “like that. That’s how she is.” Picasso coughed hesitantly and said, “She is rather small, isn’t she. And somewhat flat?”
(Other Authors and Sources)
Angels Fear, by Gregory and Mary Catherine Bateson
Be not forgetful to entertain strangers, for thereby some have entertained angels unawares.
The Bible (The New Testament) (AD 1st - 2nd C) Christian sacred scripture
Hebrews 13:2 [KJV (1611)]
(Source)
Alternate translations:Remember always to welcome strangers, for by doing this, some people have entertained angels without knowing it.
[JB (1966); NJB (1985)]Remember to welcome strangers in your homes. There were some who did that and welcomed angels without knowing it.
[GNT (1976)]Don’t neglect to open up your homes to guests, because by doing this some have been hosts to angels without knowing it.
[CEB (2011)]Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for by doing that some have entertained angels without knowing it.
[NRSV (2021 ed.)]
He who carries out one good deed acquires one advocate in his own behalf, and he who commits one transgression acquires one accuser against himself. Repentance and good works are like a shield against calamity.
The Talmud (AD 200-500) Collection of Jewish rabbinical writings
(Unreferenced)
Knowing others is wisdom; Knowing the self is enlightenment;
Mastering others requires force; Mastering the self needs strength.(Other Authors and Sources)
Tao te Ching
If hard work were so wonderful, the rich would keep it all for themselves.
(Other Authors and Sources)
Yiddish proverb
Only time can heal your broken heart, just as only time can heal his broken arms and legs.
(Other Authors and Sources)
Miss Piggy
Every man likes the smell of his own farts.
(Other Authors and Sources)
Icelandic proverb
It’s not the bullet with my name on it that worries me. It’s the one that says “To whom it may concern.”
(Other Authors and Sources)
Anonymous Belfast resident, quoted in The London Guardian (1991)
See also this.
“Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people.”
Sig Lines
~
Attributed to many people, most prominently Eleanor Roosevelt and Hyman Rickover, but the origin appears to be a recollection of a statement by Henry Thomas Buckle: "Men and women range themselves into three classes or orders of intelligence; you can tell the lowest class by their habit of always talking about persons; the next by the fact that their habit is always to converse about things; the highest by their preference for the discussion of ideas." -- Charles Stewart, Haud Immemor: Reminiscences of Legal and Social Life in Edinburgh and London 1850-1900 (1901). More information here.
Love can sweep you off your feet and carry you along in a way you’ve never known before. But the ride always ends, and you end up feeling lonely and bitter. Wait. It’s not love I’m describing. I’m thinking of a monorail.
(Other Authors and Sources)
Deep Thoughts
If you bought our course, “How to Fly Solo in Six Easy Lessons,” we apologize for any inconvenience caused by our failure to include the last chapter, “How to Land Your Plane Safely.” Send us your name and address and we will send you the last chapter posthaste. Requests by estates also honored.
(Other Authors and Sources)
World Magazine, Correction in a 1973 issue
Pride goeth before destruction, and an haughty spirit before a fall.
The Bible (The Old Testament) (14th - 2nd C BC) Judeo-Christian sacred scripture [Tanakh, Hebrew Bible], incl. the Apocrypha (Deuterocanonicals)
Proverbs 16:18 [KJV (1611)]
(Source)
Source of the common elided version, "Pride goeth before a fall."
Alternate translations:Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall.
[JB (1966), NJB (1985)]Pride leads to destruction, and arrogance to downfall.
[GNT (1976)]Pride comes before disaster,
and arrogance before a fall.
[CEB (2011)]Pride goes before destruction
and a haughty spirit before a fall.
[NRSV (2021 ed.)]Pride goes before ruin,
Arrogance, before failure.
[RJPS (2023 ed.)]
“Happiness is a warm puppy,” said the anaconda.
Sig Lines
~
Y’all are hurting my tender ears. I would appreciate it if y’all would scream one at a time.
(Other Authors and Sources)
House Speaker John Alario (D-Westwego), Louisiana Legislature
You are properly exhausted after journey or business work. Worthily divert yourself from boredom and create new sense of perception that makes you completely relaxed & happy, please call on LONGMAN HOTEL where our multifunctional recreations will surely feast your tastes. YOU ARE ADDED WITH FUN …
(Other Authors and Sources)
Relaxation & happiness, a new sense perception a day, brochure for the Longman Hotel, Shanghai, China
BUFFY: I’m gonna give you all a nice, fun, normal evening if I have to kill every person on the face of the Earth to do it.
(Other Authors and Sources)
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
XANDER: You’re considered somewhat cool.
OZ: I am?
XANDER: Is it because you always tend to express yourself in short, non-committal sentences?
OZ: Could be.(Other Authors and Sources)
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Man is harder than iron, stronger than stone and more fragile than a rose.
(Other Authors and Sources)
Turkish proverb
If you ever drop your keys into a river of molten lava, let ’em go, because, man, they’re gone.
Jack Handey (b. 1949) American humorist
Deep Thoughts
There will be a Moscow Exhibition of Arts by 15,000 Soviet Republic painters and sculptors. These were executed over the past two years.
(Other Authors and Sources)
Soviet Weekly, article
And now, will y’all stand and be recognized?
(Other Authors and Sources)
Gib Lewis, Speaker of the Texas State House, 1983-93
To a group in wheelchairs on Disability Day
Passive activity income does not include the following: Income for an activity that is not a passive activity.
(Other Authors and Sources)
IRS Form 8583, Passive Activity Loss Limitation
What really matters is the name you succeed in imposing on the facts — not the facts themselves.
(Other Authors and Sources)
Cohen’s Law
“Thou shalt eat green eggs and ham — obey thy God, I-am-that-I-am.”
Sig Lines
~
He deserves Paradise who makes his companions laugh.
(Other Authors and Sources)
Qur’an
You should each judge your own conduct. If it is good, then you can be proud of what you yourself have done, without having to compare it with what someone else has done. For each of you have to carry your own load.
The Bible (The New Testament) (AD 1st - 2nd C) Christian sacred scripture
Galatians 6:4-5 [GNT (1976)]
(Source)
Alternate translations:But let every man prove his own work, and then shall he have rejoicing in himself alone, and not in another.
For every man shall bear his own burden.
[KJV (1611)]Let each of you examine his own conduct; if you find anything to boast about, it will at least be something of your own, not just something better than your neighbour has. Everyone has his own burden to carry.
[JB (1966)]But everyone is to examine his own achievements, and then he will confine his boasting to his own achievements, not comparing them with anybody else's. Each one has his own load to carry.
[NJB (1985)]Each person should test their own work and be happy with doing a good job and not compare themselves with others. Each person will have to carry their own load.
[CEB (2011)]All must test their own work; then that work, rather than their neighbor’s work, will become a cause for pride. For all must carry their own loads.
[NRSV (2021 ed.)]
There is nothing better for a man, than that he should eat and drink, and that he should make his soul enjoy good in his labour.
The Bible (The Old Testament) (14th - 2nd C BC) Judeo-Christian sacred scripture [Tanakh, Hebrew Bible], incl. the Apocrypha (Deuterocanonicals)
Ecclesiastes 2:24 [KJV (1611)]
(Source)
Alternate translations:There is no happiness for man but to eat and drink and to be content with his work.
[JB (1966)]The best thing we can do is eat and drink and enjoy what we have earned.
[GNT (1976)]There is nothing worthwhile for a man but to eat and drink and afford himself enjoyment with his means.
[JPS (1985)]There is nothing better for mortals than to eat and drink and find enjoyment in their toil.
[NRSV (1989 ed.)]
“Never assume anything except a 4% mortgage.”
Sig Lines
~
There is no saint without a past, no sinner without a future.
Mirza Aḥmad Sohráb (1890-1958) Persian-American author, Baháʼí dissident
A Persian Rosary of Nineteen Pearls (1929)
I am unable to find an extant copy of Sohrab's book; despite his involvement with some of the early principals of the Baháʼí faith, he was eventually expelled from the group, and his writings, already marginally published, are now difficult to find. Even the publication dates of various editions of this work are unclear. But there are references to this quote being sourced there (1, 2, 3, 4).
This book should not be confused with the Persian Rosary (1257), a compendium of ethics by Persian poet Eddin Sadi.
Often misattributed to St. Augustine of Hippo, or referred to as being from an "ancient Persian Mass." There is no indication, though, that Sohrab borrowed the phrase from Oscar Wilde's similar statement.
Never let your feet run faster than your shoes.
(Other Authors and Sources)
Scottish proverb
Two things indicate weakness — to be silent when it is proper to speak, and to speak when it is proper to be silent.
(Other Authors and Sources)
Persian proverb
He who knows nothing doubts nothing.
(Other Authors and Sources)
French proverb
The reputation of a thousand years may be determined by the conduct of one hour.
(Other Authors and Sources)
Japanese proverb
Maybe if you live in a country that’s a monarchy, this book’s worth reading, but this is America, ok? The whole reason we live in a democracy is so that we the people don’t have to worry about things like this.
(Other Authors and Sources)
Customer Review of 1984 on Amazon.com (7 May 2000)
Those who do not do politics will be done in by politics.
(Other Authors and Sources)
French proverb
If the rich could hire other people to die for them, the poor would make a wonderful living.
(Other Authors and Sources)
Jewish proverb
“It’s a good thing money can’t buy happiness. Can you imagine the commercials?”
Sig Lines
~
“Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.”
Sig Lines
~
[Being taken hostage is] an adventure for the tourist, because the tourist will end up learning about the customs of the tribes as well as their good hospitality.
(Other Authors and Sources)
Abdulla Ahmar, speaker of the Yemeni parliament
I think we are all willing to have a little bit of crud in our lungs and a full stomach rather than a whole bunch of clean air and nothing to eat. And I don’t want a bunch of environmentalists and Communists telling me what’s good for me and my family.
(Other Authors and Sources)
Texas State Rep. Billy Williamson (who has since died of lung cancer)
Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances.
(Other Authors and Sources)
Dept. of Social Services, Greenville, So. Carolina
“If we are what we eat, I’m cheap, fast, and easy.”
Sig Lines
~
THE DOCTOR: The very powerful and the very stupid have one thing in common. They don’t alter their views to the facts, they alter the facts to fit their views.
(Other Authors and Sources)
Doctor Who
THE DOCTOR: What’s the use of a good quotation if you can’t change it?
(Other Authors and Sources)
Doctor Who
Smooth seas do not make skillful sailors.
(Other Authors and Sources)
African proverb
It’s too bad that whole families have to be torn apart by something as simple as wild dogs.
Jack Handey (b. 1949) American humorist
Deep Thoughts
“Women’s breasts are like Electric Train Sets: They’re meant for kids, but usually it’s the fathers who wind up playin’ with them.”
Sig Lines
~
WILLOW: Ass-kicking always makes a good Plan B.
(Other Authors and Sources)
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
“Earthquakes don’t kill people. Houses do.”
Sig Lines
~
The time and effort required to complete a project are always more than you expect, even when you take into account Hofstadter’s Law.
(Other Authors and Sources)
Hofstadtler’s Law
MOJO JOJO: You’ve got to be kidding! I’m wet! I’m naked! Your sister is wearing my clothes! And this is all part of some evil plot to RULE THE WORLD AS A SOGGY CHIMP IN MY BIRTHDAY SUIT!
(Other Authors and Sources)
Power Puff Girls
There is nothing noble in being superior to some other man. The true nobility is in being superior to your previous self.
(Other Authors and Sources)
Hindu proverb
MAYOR: My god, what a feeling. The power of these creatures. It suffuses my being. I can feel the changes begin. My organs are shifting, merging, making ready for the Ascension. Plus these babies are high in fiber, and what’s the fun of becoming an immortal demon if you’re not regular, am I right?
(Other Authors and Sources)
Buffy the Vampire Slayer, “Graduation, Part 1”
A crash reduces
your expensive computer
to a simple stone.Sig Lines
Haiku error message
The Tao that is seen
Is not the true Tao, until
You bring fresh toner.Sig Lines
Haiku error message
With searching comes loss
and the presence of absence:
“My Novel” not found.Sig Lines
Haiku error message
wind catches lily
scatt’ring petals to the wind:
segmentation faultSig Lines
Haiku error message
Errors have occurred.
We won’t tell you where or why.
Lazy programmers.Sig Lines
Haiku error message
PROSECUTOR: Can you identify the man who held up your store?
WITNESS (pointing at defendant): Yes. That’s him.
DEFENDANT (leaping up): I should have blown your bleeping head off! [Pause] If I’d been the one that was there.(Other Authors and Sources)
Courtroom testimony in an Oklahoma trial
If you disclose your alms, even then it is well done, but if you keep them secret, and give them to the poor, then that is better still for you; and this wipes off from you some of your evil deeds.
(Other Authors and Sources)
Qur’an
BARBARELLA: A good many dramatic situations begin with screaming.
(Other Authors and Sources)
Barbarella (1968)
He who publicly shames his neighbor is as though he shed blood.
The Talmud (AD 200-500) Collection of Jewish rabbinical writings
Baba Mezia 58b
“I refuse to star in your psychodrama.”
Sig Lines
~
“How do I set a laser printer to stun?”
Sig Lines
~
“I’m not tense, just terribly, terribly alert.”
Sig Lines
~
The map of Europe, Northern Africa, and the Arab nations published in Monday’s editions contained the following errors: Libya was labeled as the Ukraine; Bulgaria and Romania were transposed; Bosnia-Herzegovina was identified as Bosnia; Montenegro should have been identified as a separate state bordering Serbia; Cyprus and the West Bank were not labeled; Andorra, a country between France and Spain, was not labeled; the Crimean Peninsula appeared twice on the Black Sea; Kuwait was not identified by name — instead, the initials of the Knight-Ridder News Service were in its place.
(Other Authors and Sources)
Norfolk (Va.) Virginian-Pilot (correction)
Everything is gone;
Your life’s work has been destroyed.
Squeeze trigger (yes/no)?Sig Lines
Haiku error message
XANDER: Who’s the little fear demon? Come on, who’s the little fear demon?
GILES: Don’t taunt the fear demon.
XANDER: Why, can he hurt me?
GILES: No. It’s just … tacky.(Other Authors and Sources)
Buffy the Vampire Slayer, “Fear, Itself”
Man is made by his belief. As he believes, so he is.
(Other Authors and Sources)
Bhagavad Gita (500? BC)
If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire.
(Other Authors and Sources)
Cannon’s Comment
The first rule of intelligent tinkering is to save all the parts.
Aldo Leopold (1887-1948) American conservationist, forester, ecologist
A Sand County Almanac (1949)
Sometimes known as "Ehrlich's Law," and attributed to Paul Ehrlich in the Saturday Review (5 Jun 1971) , though Ehrlich attributed it to Leopold.
The solution to a problem changes the problem.
(Other Authors and Sources)
Peer’s Law
Any tool, when dropped, will roll into the least accessible corner.
(Other Authors and Sources)
Anthony’s Law of the Workshop