We are irritated by rascals, intolerant of fools, and prepared to love the rest. But where are they?
Mignon McLaughlin (1913-1983) American journalist and author
The Neurotic’s Notebook, ch. 1 (1963)
(Source)
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Custom is the law of one description of fools, and fashion of another; but the two parties often clash; for precedent is the legislator of the first, and novelty of the last.
Charles Caleb "C. C." Colton (1780-1832) English cleric, writer, aphorist
Lacon: Or, Many Things in Few Words, Vol. 1, § 547 (1820)
(Source)
The Catholic Church is an institution I am bound to hold divine — but for unbelievers a proof of its divinity might be found in the fact that no merely human institution conducted with such knavish imbecility would have lasted a fortnight.
Hilaire Belloc (1870-1953) Franco-British writer, historian [Joseph Hilaire Pierre René Belloc]
Remark to William Temple
(Source)
Quoted in Robert Speaight, The Life of Hilaire Belloc (1957). Variant: "The Catholic Church is an institution I am bound to hold divine, but for unbelievers, here is proof of its divinity, that no merely human institution run with such knavish imbecility would have lasted a fortnight."
Many much-learned men have no intelligence.
[Πολλοὶ πολυμαθέες νοῦν οὐκ ἔχουσιν.]
Democritus (c. 460 BC - c. 370 BC) Greek philosopher
Frag. 64 (Diels) [tr. Freeman (1948)]
(Source)
Diels citation "64. (190 N.) DEMOKRATES. 29."; collected in Joannes Stobaeus (Stobaios) Anthologium III, 4, 81. Freeman notes this as one of the Gnômae, from a collection called "Maxims of Democratês," but because Stobaeus quotes many of these as "Maxims of Democritus," they are generally attributed to the latter.
Alternate translations:
- "There are many who know many things, yet are lacking in wisdom." [tr. Bakewell (1907)]
- "Many who have learned much possess no sense." [tr. Barnes (1987)]
- "Many who have learned a lot do not have a mind." [tr. @sentantiq (2018)]
- "Many, though widely read, possess no sense." [Source]
The most that experience seems tew do for us, is tew sho us, what kussid phools every boddy but we, hav made of themselfs.
[The most that experience seems to do for us is to show us what cussed fools everybody but we have made of themselves.]
Josh Billings (1818-1885) American humorist, aphorist [pseud. of Henry Wheeler Shaw]
Everybody’s Friend, Or; Josh Billing’s Encyclopedia and Proverbial Philosophy of Wit and Humor, “Mollassis Kandy” (1874)
(Source)
I have no time to scold, and I learned thirty years ago it was foolish to scold. I have enough trouble overcoming my own limitations without fretting over the fact God has not seen fit to distribute evenly the gift of intelligence.
John Wanamaker (1838-1922) American merchant, marketer, philanthropist, Postmaster General
Quoted in Herbert Adams Gibbons, John Wanamaker, Vol. 2 (1926)
(Source)
Variant paraphrase: "It's foolish to scold people. I have enough trouble overcoming my own limitations without fretting over the fact that God didn't see fit to distribute brains equally."
Many journalists have fallen for the conspiracy theory of government. I do assure you that they would produce more accurate work if they adhered to the cock-up theory.
Bernard Ingham (b. 1932) British journalist, civil servant, press secretary
Quoted in The Observer (17 Mar 1985)
Often paraphrased, "Cock-up before conspiracy." Cf. Hanlon.
Nothing is more humiliating than seeing fools succeed where one has failed.
[Rien n’est humiliant comme de voir les sots réussir dans les entreprises où l’on échoue.]
Gustave Flaubert (1821-1880) French writer, novelist
Sentimental Education, Part 1, ch. 5 (1869) [tr. Baldick (1964)/Wall (2004)]
(Source)
Alt. trans.:
- "Nothing is more humiliating than to see idiots succeed in enterprises we have failed in."
- "There is nothing so humiliating to see as blockheads succeed in undertakings in which we ourselves fail." [Ranout ed. (1922)]
- "There is nothing so humiliating as to see blockheads succeed in undertakings in which we fail." [tr. Bouvard ed. rev. (2003)]
I don’t think the boy of lively mind is hurt much by going to college. If he encounters mainly jackasses, then he learns the useful lesson that this is a jackass world.
H. L. Mencken (1880-1956) American writer and journalist [Henry Lewis Mencken]
“Editorial,” The American Mercury (April 1926)
(Source)
Reprinted in Prejudices: Sixth Series (1927).
If forty million people say a foolish thing it does not become a wise one, but the wise man is foolish to give them the lie.
W. Somerset Maugham (1874-1965) English novelist and playwright [William Somerset Maugham]
A Writer’s Notebook (1949)
An entry dated 1901. More discussion about this quotation: If Fifty Million People Say a Foolish Thing, It Is Still a Foolish Thing – Quote Investigator
Sometimes I wonder whether the world is being run by smart people who are putting us on or by imbeciles who really mean it.
Mark Twain (1835-1910) American writer [pseud. of Samuel Clemens]
(Misattributed)
Not found in Twain's work, and the phrase "putting [someone] on" post-dates Twain.
The quotation actually appears to come from Laurence J. Peter and Raymond Hull, The Peter Principle, ch. 7 (1969). Peter writes that during a lecture, a Latin American student named Caesare Innocente, said to him:Professor Peter, I'm afraid that what I want to know is not answered by all my studying. I don't know whether the world is run by smart men who are, how you Americans say, putting us on, or by imbeciles who really mean it.
More discussion: slang - What is the origin of "putting someone on" - English Language & Usage Stack Exchange.
If fifty million people say a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing.
[Si 50 millions de personnes disent une bêtise, c’est quand même une bêtise.]
Anatole France (1844-1924) French poet, journalist, novelist, Nobel Laureate [pseud. of Jaques-Anatole-François Thibault]
(Spurious)
Sometimes also misattributed to Bertrand Russell. The closest to this specific quotation comes from W. Somerset Maugham. More information about this quotation, including the source of this misattribution and an analogous phrase France did use: If Fifty Million People Say a Foolish Thing, It Is Still a Foolish Thing – Quote Investigator.
Brute force plays a much larger part in the government of the world than it did before 1914, and what is especially alarming, force tends increasingly to fall into the hands of those who are enemies of civilization. The danger is profound and terrible; it cannot be waved aside with easy optimism. The fundamental cause of the trouble is that in the modern world the stupid are cocksure while the intelligent are full of doubt.
Bertrand Russell (1872-1970) English mathematician and philosopher
“The Triumph of Stupidity,” New York American (1933-05-10)
(Source)
Often paraphrased, "The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure, and the intelligent are full of doubt." See also Yeats and Bukowski.
More examination of this quotation: The Best Lack All Conviction While the Worst Are Full of Passionate Intensity – Quote Investigator.