Never say anything on the phone that you wouldn’t want your mother to hear at the trial.
Sydney Biddle Barrows (b. 1952) American prostitute, writer [The Mayflower Madam, alias Sheila Devin]
(Attributed)
I’m not offended by all the dumb blond jokes because I know I’m not dumb … And I also know I’m not blonde.
Dolly Parton (b. 1946) American singer
(Attributed)
HAL: Wisdom cries out in the streets, and no man regards it.
William Shakespeare (1564-1616) English dramatist and poet
Henry IV, Part 1, Act 1, sc. 2, l. 94ff (1.2.94) (1597)
(Source)
You cannot live the perfect day without doing something for someone who will never be able to repay you.
John Wooden (1910-2010) American basketball player and coach
They Call Me Coach, ch. 8, epigram (1972)
(Source)
While we have the gift of life, it seems to me the only tragedy is to allow part of us to die — whether it is our spirit, our creativity, or our glorious uniqueness.
Gilda Radner (1946-1989) American comedian
It’s Always Something (1989)
No matter what you’ve done for yourself or for humanity, if you can’t look back on having given love and attention to your own family, what have you really accomplished?
Lee Iacocca (1924-2019) American businessman [Lido Anthony Iacocca]
(Attributed)
There can be no happiness if the things we believe in are different from the things we do.
Freya Stark (1893-1993) Franco-British explorer, travel writer [Freya Madeline Stark]
The Journey’s Echo
We cannot direct the wind, but we can adjust the sails.
Bertha Calloway (1925-2017) American black historian, civil rights activist
(Attributed)
People will accept your ideas much more readily if you tell them Benjamin Franklin said it first.
David H. Comins (1930-2016) American real estate developer, insurance agent
(Attributed)
For more on this quote and the search for this author, see here.
Nothing is easy to the unwilling.
Nikki Giovanni (b. 1943) American poet, commentator, activist, educator [b. Yolande Cornelia Giovanni, Jr.]
(Attributed)
MASTER: As long as there is “I and thou,” there is no seeing Tao.
MONK: When there is neither “I” nor “thou” is it seen?
MASTER: When there is neither “I” nor “thou,” who is here to see it?(Other Authors and Sources)
Zen mondo
Fear is the absence of faith.
Paul Tillich (1886-1965) American theologian and philosopher
(Attributed)
Starving the living will not profit the dead.
Rex Stout (1886-1975) American writer
The Black Mountain, ch. 2 [Fritz] (1954)
I would give the broad sweep of the First Amendment full support. I have the same confidence in the ability of our people to reject noxious literature as I have in their capacity to sort out the true from the false in theology, economics, or any other field.
William O. Douglas (1898-1980) US Supreme Court justice (1939-75)
Roth v. United States, 354 U.S. 476, 514, dissenting opinion (1957)
(Source)
Random distributions, by definition, sometimes cluster, or they wouldn’t be random.
Lucile M. "Lucy" Jones (b. 1955) American seismologist
Cal Tech earthquake news conference, on other recent quakes (16 Jun. 2005)
Personally heard on the radio
The majority of Americans are clustered in the middle of the ideological spectrum. There is a passionate center. This core of America is not racist. It is not hostile to women. It is increasingly offended by gay bashing. Yet it abhors government waste. It believes strongly in fiscal responsibility such as balanced budgets. It is pro-economic growth. It is concerned about the environment. It is intolerant of people on welfare who disdain the notion of work. But it wants poor kids to have school lunches and it wants to spend money to have good schools. In sum, most Americans are sensible, good-hearted, and prudent. The issue, then, is whether there is a political party that can welcome them home.
Paul Tsongas (1941-1997) American politician
Journey of Purpose, ch. 3 “Third Party” (1995)
(Source)
On human rights, civil rights and environmental quality, I consider myself to be very liberal. On the management of government, on openness of government, on strengthening individual liberties and local levels of government, I consider myself a conservative. And I don’t see that the two attitudes are incompatible.
Jimmy Carter (b. 1924) American politician, US President (1977-1981), Nobel laureate [James Earl Carter, Jr.]
(Attributed)
The first responsibility of a leader is to define reality. The last is to say thank you. In between the two, the leader must become a servant and a debtor.
Max De Pree (1924-2017) American businessman and writer
Leadership Is An Art (1989)
You must learn from the mistakes of others. You can’t possibly live long enough to make them all yourself.
Sam Levenson (1911-1980) American humorist, author
(Attributed)
My only sure reward is in my actions and not from them.
Hugh Prather (1938-2010) American minister, writer, counselor
Notes to Myself (1970)
KING: ’Tis well said again,
And ’tis a kind of good deed to say well.
And yet words are no deeds.William Shakespeare (1564-1616) English dramatist and poet
Henry VIII, Act 3, sc. 2, l. 195ff (3.2.195-197) (1613)
(Source)
We are restless because of incessant change, but we would be frightened if change were stopped.
Lyman L. Bryson (1888-1959) American academic, educator
(Attributed)
Get out of the blocks, run our race, stay relaxed. If you run your race, you’ll win. Channel your energy. Focus.
Carl Lewis (b. 1961) American Olympic athlete
(Attributed)
But still, one of the most basic rules for survival on any planet is never to upset someone wearing black leather.*
*This is why protesters against the wearing of animal skins by humans unaccountably fail to throw their paint over Hell’s Angels.Terry Pratchett (1948-2015) English author
The Last Continent (1998)
The length of a film should be directly related to the endurance of the human bladder.
Alfred Hitchcock (1899-1980) English film director
(Attributed)
Simon Rose, Classic Film Guide (1995)
HAMLET: There’s a divinity that shapes our ends,
Rough-hew them how we will —William Shakespeare (1564-1616) English dramatist and poet
Hamlet, Act 5, sc. 2, l. 11ff (5.2.11-12) (c. 1600)
(Source)
POLONIUS: Those friends thou hast, and their adoption tried,
Grapple them to thy soul with hoops of steel.William Shakespeare (1564-1616) English dramatist and poet
Hamlet, Act 1, sc. 3, l. 68ff [Polonius] (c. 1600)
(Source)
There are vital reasons why guys are interested in technology, and women should not give them a hard time about always wanting to have the “latest gadget.” And when I say “women,” I mean “my wife.” For example, as a guy, I feel I need a new computer every time a new model comes out, which is every fifteen minutes. This baffles my wife, who has had the same computer since the Civil War and refuses to get a new one because — get THIS for an excuse — the one she has works fine.
Dave Barry (b. 1947) American humorist
Miami Herald (27 Jan 2001)
The fear of tomorrow comes one day too soon.
(Other Authors and Sources)
Dutch proverb
You may autopsy a body all day long, but you’ll never learn what sort of jokes he liked.
Graham Ericsson (b. 1947) American writer, aphorist
Thoughts Like Leaves (28 Jul. 2002)
Prayer is responding to God, by thought and by deeds, with or without words.
(Other Authors and Sources)
Book of Common Prayer, (Episcopal) Catechism – “What is prayer?” (1979)
Know then thyself, presume not God to scan,
The proper study of mankind is man.Alexander Pope (1688-1744) English poet
“An Essay on Man,” Epistle 2, l. 1 (1733-34)
Well, I can’t prove it, but I can smell it.
Henry Ford (1863-1947) American industrialist
(Attributed)
It’s easier to count the bottles than describe the wine.
Thomas A. Stewart (b. 1948) American management consultant, business editor, writer
Intellectual Capital (1997)
The ideas of economists and political philosophers, both when they are right and when they are wrong, are more powerful than is commonly understood. Indeed the world is ruled by little else. Practical men, who believe themselves to be quite exempt from any intellectual influence, are usually the slaves of some defunct economist. Madmen in authority, who hear voices in the air, are distilling their frenzy from some academic scribbler of a few years back.
John Maynard Keynes (1883-1946) English economist
The General Theory of Employment, Interest and Money, ch. 24 (1936)
It is astonishing what foolish things one can temporarily believe if one thinks too long alone, particularly in economics (along with the other moral sciences), where it is often impossible to bring one’s ideas to a conclusive test either formal or experimental.
John Maynard Keynes (1883-1946) English economist
The General Theory of Employment, Interest and Money, Preface (1936)
We find it easy to believe that praise is sincere: Why should anyone lie in telling us the truth?
Jean Rostand (1894-1977) French biologist, philosopher
De la vanité (1925)
All charming people have something to conceal, usually their total dependence on the appreciation of others.
Cyril Connolly (1903-1974) English intellectual, literary critic and writer.
Enemies of Promise, ch. 16 (1938)
One of the misfortunes of our time is that in getting rid of false shame, we have killed off so much real shame as well.
Louis Kronenberger (1904-1980) American critic, novelist, biographer
Company Manners, Sec. 2.1 (1954)
Nothing fails like success because we don’t learn from it. We learn only from failure.
Kenneth Ewart Boulding (1910-1993) American economist, educator, poet, philosopher
“The diminishing returns of science,” New Scientist (25 Mar 1971)
Restated in Ecodynamics: A New Theory Of Societal Evolution (1978) as: "Nothing fails like success, because we do not learn anything from it. We only learn from failure, but we do not always learn the right things from failure."
Never contend with a Man who has nothing to Lose.
[No empeñarse con quien no tiene qué perder.]
Baltasar Gracián y Morales (1601-1658) Spanish Jesuit priest, writer, philosopher
The Art of Worldly Wisdom [Oráculo Manual y Arte de Prudencia], § 172 (1647) [tr. Jacobs (1892)]
(Source)
(Source (Spanish)). Alternate translations:
Never to engage with him that hath nothing to lose.
[Flesher ed. (1685)]
Do not engage with him who has nothing to lose.
[tr. Fischer (1937)]
Never compete with someone who has nothing to lose.
[tr. Maurer (1992)]
As always, victory finds a hundred fathers, but defeat is an orphan.
[Come sempre, la victoria trova cento padri, e nessuno vuole riconoscere l’insuccesso.]
Galeazzo Ciano (1903-1944) Italian diplomat [Gian Galeazzo Ciano, 2nd Count of Cortellazzo and Buccari]
Diario, 9 Sep 1942 (1946)
(Source)
Alternate translation: "As always, victory will have a hundred fathers, but defeat will never be acknowledged by anyone at all."
An "old saying" quoted by John Kennedy after the Bay of Pigs fiasco. Most likely gleaned from the movie The Desert Fox (1951), where Field Marshal von Rundstedt tells Erwin Rommel “You must never forget this, my dear fellow: Victory has a hundred fathers. Defeat is an orphan.” The movie was based on the book Desmond Young, Rommel, the Desert Fox (1951), which provides a citation for the quotation.
Fortune does not change men; it unmasks them.
Suzanne Curchod (1739-1794) French-Swiss salonist and writer [a/k/a Madame Necker]
(Attributed)
No guest is so welcome in a friend’s house that he will not become a nuisance after three days.
Plautus (c. 254-184 BC) Roman playright [Titus Maccius Plautus]
Miles Gloriosus, 3.2, l. 741
Drink not the third glass, which thou canst not tame,
When once it is within thee.George Herbert (1593-1633) Welsh priest, orator, poet.
The Temple, “The Church Porch,” ll. 25-26 (1633)
Susan stopped. Of course someone would be that stupid. Some humans would do anything to see if it was possible to do it. If you put a large switch in some cave somewhere, with a sign on it saying ‘End-of-the-World Switch. PLEASE DO NOT TOUCH’, the paint wouldn’t even have time to dry.
Terry Pratchett (1948-2015) English author
Thief of Time (2001)
Genius is always allowed some leeway, once the hammer has been pried from its hands and the blood has been cleaned up.
Terry Pratchett (1948-2015) English author
Thief of Time (2001)
Though boys throw stones at frogs in sport, the frogs do not die in sport, but in earnest.
Bion of Borysthenes (c. 325-c. 250 BC) Greek philosopher, cynic, wit
In Plutarch, Moralia, xii “Which Are the Most Crafty, Water or Land Animals?”
One does what one is; one becomes what one does.
Robert von Musil (1880-1942) Austrian writer
Kleine Prosa (1930)
I am more afraid of an army of one hundred sheep led by a lion than an army of one hundred lions led by a sheep.
Charles Maurice, Prince de Talleyrand-Périgord (1754-1838) French statesman
(Attributed)
Paraphrase of the statement attributed to Alexander the Great: "I am never afraid of an army of lions led into battle by a lamb. I fear more the army of lambs who have a lion to lead them."
When everyone is against you, it means that you are absolutely wrong — or absolutely right.
Albert Guinon (1863-1923) French playwright
(Attributed)
It was a five hundred mile journey and, surprisingly, quite uneventful. People who are rather more than six feet tall and nearly as broad across the shoulders often have uneventful journeys. People jump out at them from behind rocks then say things like, “Oh. Sorry. I thought you were someone else.”
Terry Pratchett (1948-2015) English author
Guards! Guards! (1989)
Thousands upon thousands are yearly brought into a state of real poverty by their great anxiety not to be thought poor.
Robert Mallet (1915-2002) French novelist, poet, playwright, academician
(Attributed)
Habits form a second nature.
Jean Baptiste Lamarck (1744-1829) French natural historian
Philosophie Zoologique, part II, ch 7 (1809)
Experience is not what happens to a man; it is what a man does with what happens to him.
Aldous Huxley (1894-1963) English novelist, essayist and critic
Texts and Pretexts (1932)
