Praise out of season, or tactlessly bestowed, can freeze the heart as much as blame. To praise for the wrong possession or attribute can wound beyond amends.
Pearl S. Buck (1892-1973) American writer
To My Daughters, with Love, ch. 4 “First Meeting” (1967)
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Quotations about:
hurt
Note not all quotations have been tagged, so Search may find additional quotes on this topic.
You have to laugh at the things that hurt you just to keep yourself in balance, just to keep the world from running you plumb crazy.
Ken Kesey (1935-2001) American novelist, essayist, countercultural figure
One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest, Part 3 (1962)
(Source)
I don’t think I ever hurt any man’s feelings by my little gags. I know I never willfully did it. When I have to do that to make a living I will quit.
It is easy when you’ve been hurt by love to give it up as a bad job and make independence your new god, taking the love you had to give and turning it in upon yourself. And most of us have had to protect ourselves so much at times that we’ve given up the high road and taken the low. But independence carried to the furthest extreme is just loneliness and death, nothing more than another defense, and there is no growth in it, only a safe harbor for a while. The answer doesn’t lie in learning how to protect ourselves from life — it lies in learning how to become strong enough to let a bit more of it in.
Merle Shain (1935-1989) Canadian journalist and author
When Lovers Are Friends, ch. 1 (1978)
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I once met a man who had forgiven an injury. I hope some day to meet the man who has forgiven an insult.
Charles Buxton (1823-1871) English brewer, philanthropist, writer, politician
Notes of Thought, #458 (1873)
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It’s impossible for men and women who love each other not to hurt each other now and then, but most women would settle happily for a man who tried not to cause the same hurt twice.
Merle Shain (1935-1989) Canadian journalist and author
Some Men Are More Perfect than Others (1973)
The wound hurts less than your desire to wound me.
James Richardson (b. 1950) American poet
“Vectors: 56 Aphorisms and Ten-second Essays,” Michigan Quarterly Review, # 18 (Spring 1999)
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A gentleman is one who never hurts anyone’s feelings unintentionally.
Oliver Herford (1863–1935) Anglo-American writer, artist and illustrator
(Attributed)
Widely attributed to Herford as early as 1915. Similar in construction to "A gentleman is a man who never gives offense unintentionally," "A gentleman is a person who never insults anyone unintentionally," etc., which go back to at least 1905, and in the late 1920s were attributed without citation to Oscar Wilde. See here for more discussion of the Wilde citation.
By possible coincidence, Herford was known at the time as the American Oscar Wilde.
The essence of good manners consists in making it clear that one has no wish to hurt. When it is clearly necessary to hurt, it must be done in such a way as to make it evident that the necessity is felt to be regrettable.
Bertrand Russell (1872-1970) English mathematician and philosopher
“Good Manners and Hypocrisy,” New York American (1934-12-14)
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Sure, there are differences in degree, but we’ve got to stop comparing wounds and go out after the system that does the wounding.
Florynce "Flo" Kennedy (1916-2000) American lawyer, feminist, civil rights activist
(Attributed)
Quoted in Gloria Steinem, "The Verbal Karate of Florynce R. Kennedy, Esq.," Ms. (Mar 1973).
It’s important to be kind. You can’t know all the times that you’ve hurt people in tiny, significant ways. It’s easy to be cruel without meaning to be. There’s nothing you can do about that. But you can choose to be kind. Be kind.
Hate is too great a burden to bear. It injures the hater more than it injures the hated.
Coretta Scott King (1927-2006) American author, activist, civil rights leader
Speech, San Francisco (14 Apr 1989)
My pain may be the reason for somebody’s laugh, but my laugh must never be the reason for somebody’s pain.
Charlie Chaplin (1889-1977) English comic actor, film director, composer
(Attributed)
TITUS: These words are razors to my wounded heart.
William Shakespeare (1564-1616) English dramatist and poet
Titus Andronicus, Act 1, sc. 4, l. 320 (1.4.320) (c. 1590)
(Source)
Men hate more steadily than they love; and if I have said something to hurt a man once, I shall not get the better of this by saying many things to please him.
Samuel Johnson (1709-1784) English writer, lexicographer, critic
In James Boswell, Life of Samuel Johnson, “September 15, 1777” (1791)
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The Sting of a Reproach is the Truth of it.
Thomas Fuller (1654-1734) English physician, preacher, aphorist, writer
Gnomologia: Adages and Proverbs, #4769 (1732)
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The stroke of the whip maketh marks in the flesh: but the stroke of the tongue breaketh the bones. Many have fallen by the edge of the sword: but not so many as have fallen by the tongue.
The Bible (The Old Testament) (14th - 2nd C BC) Judeo-Christian sacred scripture [Tanakh, Hebrew Bible], incl. the Apocrypha (Deuterocanonicals)
Sirach (Ecclesiasticus) 28:17-18 [KJV (1611)]
(Source)
Alternate translations:The stroke of a whip maketh a blue mark: but the stroke of the tongue will break the bones. Many have fallen by the edge of the sword, but not so many as have perished by their own tongue.
[DRA (1899); 28:21-22]A stroke of the whip raises a weal, but a stroke of the tongue breaks bones. Many have fallen by the edge of the sword, but many more have fallen by the tongue.
[JB (1966)]A whip can raise a welt, but a vicious tongue can break bones. More people have died as a result of loose talk than were ever killed by swords.
[GNT (1976)]The blow of a whip raises a welt, but a blow of the tongue crushes the bones. Many have fallen by the edge of the sword, but not as many as have fallen because of the tongue.
[NRSV (1989 ed.)]
