Quotations about:
    feelings


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You need to get used to winnowing your thoughts, so that if someone says, “What are you thinking about?” you can respond at once (and truthfully) that you are thinking this or thinking that. And it would be obvious at once from your answer that your thoughts were straightforward and considerate ones — the thoughts of an unselfish person, one unconcerned with pleasure and with sensual indulgence generally, with squabbling, with slander and envy, or anything else you’d be ashamed to be caught thinking.

[ἐθιστέον ἑαυτὸν μόνα φαντάζεσθαι, περὶ ὧν εἴ τις ἄφνω ἐπανέροιτο: τί νῦν διανοῇ; μετὰ παρρησίας παραχρῆμα ἂν ἀποκρίναιο ὅτι τὸ καὶ τό: ὡς ἐξ αὐτῶν εὐθὺς δῆλα εἶναι, ὅτι πάντα ἁπλᾶ καὶ εὐμενῆ καὶ ζῴου κοινωνικοῦ καὶ ἀμελοῦντος ἡδονικῶν ἢ καθάπαξ ἀπολαυστικῶν φαντασμάτων ἢ φιλονεικίας τινὸς ἢ βασκανίας καὶ ὑποψίας ἢ ἄλλου τινός, ἐφ̓ ᾧ ἂν ἐρυθριάσειας ἐξηγούμενος, ὅτι ἐν νῷ αὐτὸ εἶχες.]

Marcus Aurelius (AD 121-180) Roman emperor (161-180), Stoic philosopher
Meditations [To Himself; Τὰ εἰς ἑαυτόν], Book 3, ch. 4 (3.4) (AD 161-180) [tr. Hays (2003)]
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(Source (Greek)). Alternate translations:

Thou must use thyself to think only of such things, of which if a man upon a sudden should ask thee, what it is that thou art now thinking, thou mayest answer This, and That, freely and boldly, that so by thy thoughts it may presently appear that in all thee is sincere, and peaceable; as becometh one that is made for society, and regards not pleasures, nor gives way to any voluptuous imaginations at all: free from all contentiousness, envy, and suspicion, and from whatsoever else thou wouldst blush to confess thy thoughts were set upon.
[tr. Casaubon (1634)]

Let it be your way to think upon nothing, but what you could freely Discover, if the Question was put to you : So that if your Soul was thus laid open, there would nothing appear, but what was Sincere, Good-natur'd, and publick Spirited; not so much as one Libertine, or Luxurious Fancy, nothing of Litigiousness, Envy, or unreasonable Suspicion, or any thing else, which would not bear the Light, without Blushing.
[tr. Collier (1701)]

We ought, therefore, to [...] enure ourselves to think on such things, as, if we were of a sudden examined, what are we now musing upon, we could freely answer, such or such matters: so that all within might appear simple and goodnatured, such as becomes a social being, who despises pleasure, and all sensual enjoyment, and is free from emulation, envy, suspicion, or any other passion that we would blush to own we were now indulging in our minds.
[tr. Hutcheson/Moor (1742)]

Indeed you should regulate your thoughts in such a manner, that if any one should ask you, on a sudden, what is the subject of them, you may answer him without embarrassment; so that they may evidently appear to be all simplicity and benevolence, and such as become a being born for society; free from every idea of sensuality or lasciviousness; from rancour, envy, or suspicion; or from any other sentiment, which, if you were to confess it, would occasion a blush.
[tr. Graves (1792)]

A man should use himself to think of those things only about which if one should suddenly ask, What hast thou now in thy thoughts? with perfect openness thou mightest immediately answer, This or That; so that from thy words it should be plain that everything in thee is simple and benevolent, and such as befits a social animal, and one that cares not for thoughts about pleasure or sensual enjoyments at all, nor has any rivalry or envy and suspicion, or anything else for which thou wouldst blush if thou shouldst say that thou hadst it in thy mind.
[tr. Long (1862)]

[A man] ought, therefore, not to work his mind to no purpose, nor throw a superfluous link into the chain of thought; and more especially, to avoid curiosity and malice in his inquiry. Accustom yourself, therefore, tot hink up on nothing but what you could freely reveal, if the question were put to you; so that if your soul were thus laid open, there would nothing appear but what was sincere, good-natured, and public-spirited -- not so much as one voluptuous or luxurious fancy, nothing of hatred, envy, or unreasonable suspicion, nor aught else which you could not bring to the light without blushing.
[tr. Collier/Zimmern (1887)]

Limit yourself habitually to such regards, that if suddenly asked 'What is in your thoughts now?,' you could tell at once the candid and unhesitating truth -- a direct plain proof, that all your thoughts were simple and in charity, such as befit a social being, who eschews voluptuous or even self-indulgent fancies, or jealousy of any kind, or malice and suspicion, or any other mood which you would blush to own.
[tr. Rendall (1898)]

Accustom yourself so, and only so, to think, that, if any one were suddenly to ask you, “Of what are you thinking-now?” you could answer frankly and at once, “Of so and so.” Then it will plainly appear that you are all simplicity and kindliness, as befits a social being who takes little thought for enjoyment or any phantom pleasure; who spurns contentiousness, envy, or suspicion; or any passion the harbouring of which one would blush to own.
[tr. Hutcheson/Chrystal (1902)]

A man should accustom himself to think only of those things about which, if one were to ask on a sudden, What now in thy thoughts? thou couldst quite frankly answer at once, This or that; so that thine answer should immediately make manifest that all that is in thee is simple and kindly and worthy of a living being that is social and has no thought for pleasures or for the entire range of sensual images, or for any rivalry, envy, suspicion, or anything else, whereat thou wouldst blush to admit that thou hadst it in thy mind.
[tr. Haines (Loeb) (1916)]

You must habituate yourself only to thoughts about which if some one were suddenly to ask: 'What is in your mind now?', you would at once reply, quite frankly, this or that; and so from the answer it would immediately be plain that all was simplicity and kindness, the thoughts of a social being, who disregards pleasurable, or to speak more generally luxurious imaginings or rivalry of any kind, or envy and suspicion or anything else about which you would blush to put into words that you had it in your head.
[tr. Farquharson (1944)]

A man should habituate himself to such a way of thinking that if suddenly asked, "What is in your mind at this minute?" he could respond frankly and without hesitation; thus proving that all his thoughts were simple and kindly, as becomes a social being with no taste for the pleasures of sensual imaginings, jealousies, envies, suspicions, or any other sentiments that he would blush to acknowledge in himself.
[tr. Staniforth (1964)]

You must train yourself only to think such thoughts that if somebody were suddenly to ask you, "What are you thinking of?" you could reply in all honesty and without hesitation of this or that, and so make it clear at once from your reply that all within you is simple and kindly, and worthy of a social being who has no thought for pleasure, or luxury in general, or contentiousness of any kind, or envy, or suspicion, or anything else that you would blush to admit if you had it in your mind.
[tr. Hard (1997 ed.)]

Train yourself to think only those thoughts such that in answer to the sudden question ‘What is in your mind now?’ you could say with immediate frankness whatever it is, this or that: and so your answer can give direct evidence that all your thoughts are straightforward and kindly, the thoughts of a social being who has no regard for the fancies of pleasure or wider indulgence, for rivalry, malice, suspicion, or anything else that one would blush to admit was in one’s mind.
[tr. Hammond (2006)]

You should accustom yourself to think only of those things which, if someone were suddenly to ask "What are you thinking?" you could openly answer this or that, so as to reveal straightaway that everything within yourself is straightforward and well disposed, appropriate to a communal being, and without care for base pleasures or even a single one of the delights we take in our experiences, or for any rivalry, slander, suspicion, or anything else which you would blush to answer that you had in your mind.
[tr. Needleman/Piazza (2008)]

You must train yourself only to think such thoughts that if somebody were suddenly to ask you, ‘What are you thinking of?’ you could reply in all honesty and without hesitation, of this thing or that, and so make it clear at once from your reply that all within you is simple and benevolent, and worthy of a social being who has no thought for pleasure, or luxury in general, or contentiousness of any kind, or envy, or suspicion, or anything else that you would blush to admit if you had it in your mind.
[tr. Hard (2011 ed.)]

You must train yourself only to think the kind of thoughts about which, if someone suddenly asked you, "what are you thinking now?" you would at once answer frankly, "this" or "that." So, from your reply it would immediately be clear that all your thoughts are straightforward and kind and express the character of a social being who has no concern with images of pleasure, or self-indulgence in general, or any kind of rivalry, malice, or suspicion, or anything else you would blush to admit you were thinking about.
[tr. Gill (2013)]

 
Added on 12-Mar-25 | Last updated 12-Mar-25
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Machines do not have feelings. […] This is not to say that no inanimate objects have feelings — toys are loaded with feelings, for instance, and only a monster would break the heart of a rag doll.

Judith Martin (b. 1938) American author, journalist, etiquette expert [a.k.a. Miss Manners]
“Miss Manners,” syndicated column (1981-03-29)
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Collected in Miss Manners’ Guide to Excruciatingly Correct Behavior, Part 3 "Basic Civilization," "Common Courtesy for All Ages" (1983).
 
Added on 3-Mar-25 | Last updated 3-Mar-25
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Thoughts are the shadows of our feelings — always darker, emptier, and simpler.

[Gedanken sind die Schatten unserer Empfindungen, — immer dunkler, leerer, einfacher, als diese.]

Friedrich Nietzsche (1844-1900) German philosopher and poet
The Gay Science [Die fröhliche Wissenschaft], Book 3, § 179 (1882) [tr. Kaufmann (1974)]
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Also known as La Gaya Scienza, The Joyful Wisdom, or The Joyous Science.

(Source (German)). Alternate translations:

Thoughts are the shadows of our sentiments -- always, however, obscurer, emptier, and simpler.
[tr. Common (1911)]

Thoughts are the shadows of our sensations -- always darker, emptier, simpler.
[tr. Nauckhoff (2001)]

Thoughts are shadows of our feelings -- always darker, emptier and simpler than these.
[tr. Hill (2018)]

 
Added on 15-Aug-24 | Last updated 15-Aug-24
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I’ve always felt sorry for people afraid of feeling, of sentimentality, of emotion, who conceal what they feel and are unable to weep with their whole heart. Because those who do not know how to weep with their whole heart don’t know how to laugh either.

Golda Meir
Golda Meir (1898-1978) Russian-American-Israeli politician, teacher; Prime Minister of Israel (1969-1974)
Interview by Oriana Fallaci, Ms. (1973-04)
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The Ms. article is a portion of an interview held in Jerusalem in November 1972. Answering to the charge that she is hard and inflexible, countering that she is very sensitive and feeling in most matters.

The full interview was reprinted in Fallaci, Interview with History, ch. 4 "Golda Meir" (1974) [tr. Shepley (1976)], but slightly rephrased:

I’ve always felt sorry for people who are afraid of their feelings, of their emotions, and who hide what they feel and can’t cry wholeheartedly. Because anyone who can’t cry wholeheartedly can’t laugh wholeheartedly either.

Was this re-edited (and in which instance?), or is it a matter of different translation? It's unclear in what language the interview was conducted, but the original edition of the book (Intervista con la Storia) was in Italian, Fallaci's native language, which gave the passage as follow:

A me ha sempre fatto pena la gente che ha paura dei sentimenti, delle emozioni, e nasconde quello che prova e non sa piangere con tutto il cuore. Perché chi non sa piangere con tutto il cuore non sa nemmeno ridere a gola spiegata.
 
Added on 24-Aug-23 | Last updated 24-Aug-23
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Religion does not consist in doctrines of any kind, but in sentiments of reverence toward God, and of justice and benevolence toward our fellow men.

Lydia Maria Child (1802-1880) American abolitionist, activist, journalist, suffragist
The Progress of Religious Ideas Through Successive Ages, Vol. 3, “Concluding Chapter” (1855)
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Added on 2-May-23 | Last updated 2-May-23
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The hardest lesson — and this is what child-rearing and perhaps all of manners is about — is that there are other people in the world and you do have to take their feelings into consideration. It doesn’t mean you always have to yield to them, but it does mean that you have to know how to deal with them. A lot of people know that they want to be treated politely, but they don’t make that little leap and say, Well, the other person must feel that way, too.

Judith Martin (b. 1938) American author, journalist, etiquette expert [a.k.a. Miss Manners]
In “Polite Company,” interview by Hara Estroff Marano, Psychology Today (1998-03)
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Added on 7-Mar-22 | Last updated 9-May-23
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Once considered an art form that called for talent, or at least a craft that called for practice, a poem now needs only sincerity. Everyone, we’re assured, is a poet. Writing poetry is good for us. It expresses our inmost feelings, which is wholesome. Reading other people’s poems is pointless since those aren’t our own inmost feelings.

Barbara Holland (1933-2010) American author
Wasn’t the Grass Greener?: A Curmudgeon’s Fond Memories, “Poetry” (1999)
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Added on 7-Feb-22 | Last updated 7-Feb-22
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The truth is sometimes seen, but rarely heard: on the fewest of occasions does it arrive in its elemental purity, especially if it has travelled far, for then it is always soiled by what has happened on the road: for feeling tinges with her colors all that she touches, sometimes happily, sometimes unhappily: she always leaves some kind of mark.

[La verdad ordinariamente se ve, extravagantemente se oye; raras veces llega en su elemento puro, y menos cuando viene de lejos; siempre trae algo de mixta, de los afectos por donde pasa; tiñe de sus colores la pasión cuanto toca, ya odiosa, ya favorable. Tira siempre a impresionar.]

Baltasar Gracián y Morales (1601-1658) Spanish Jesuit priest, writer, philosopher
The Art of Worldly Wisdom [Oráculo Manual y Arte de Prudencia], § 80 (1647) [tr. Fischer (1937)]
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(Source (Spanish)). Alternate translation:

Commonly truth is seen, but it is extraordinary to hear it. It seldom comes pure to our ears, especially when it come from a far. For then it takes some tincture of the passions that it meets by the way. It pleases or displeases, according to the colours that passion or interest give it, which aim always at prepossessing.
[Flesher ed. (1685)]

The truth is generally seen, rarely heard; seldom she comes in elemental purity, especially from afar; there is always some admixture of the moods of those through whom she has passed. The passions tinge her with their colors wherever they touch her, sometimes favorably, sometimes the reverse.
[tr. Jacobs (1892)]

Truth is more often seen than heard. Seldom does it reach us unalloyed, even less so when it comes from afar. It is always blended with the emotions it has passed through. Emotion taints everything it touches, making it odious or favorable. It tries always to impress us one way or another.
[tr. Maurer (1992)]

 
Added on 10-Jan-22 | Last updated 18-Jul-23
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Emotion doesn’t travel in a straight line. Like water, our feelings trickle down through cracks and crevices, seeking out the little pockets of neediness and neglect, the hairline fractures in our character usually hidden from public view.

Sue Grafton
Sue Grafton (1940-2017) American novelist, screenwriter
“I” is for Innocent (1992)
 
Added on 29-Oct-21 | Last updated 29-Oct-21
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A man can’t help his feelings sometime. He don’t even understand his damn self half the time and there the trouble starts.

Paule Marshall
Paule Marshall (1929-2019) American writer
The Chosen Place, The Timeless People (1969)
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Added on 19-Jul-21 | Last updated 19-Jul-21
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A gentleman is one who never hurts anyone’s feelings unintentionally.

Oliver Herford (1863–1935) Anglo-American writer, artist and illustrator
(Attributed)

Widely attributed to Herford as early as 1915. Similar in construction to "A gentleman is a man who never gives offense unintentionally," "A gentleman is a person who never insults anyone unintentionally," etc., which go back to at least 1905, and in the late 1920s were attributed without citation to Oscar Wilde. See here for more discussion of the Wilde citation.

By possible coincidence, Herford was known at the time as the American Oscar Wilde.
 
Added on 2-Sep-20 | Last updated 2-Sep-20
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Never apologize for showing feeling, my friend. Remember that when you do so, you apologize for truth.

Benjamin Disraeli (1804-1881) English politician and author
Contarini Fleming, ch. 13 (1832)
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Added on 16-Apr-19 | Last updated 16-Apr-19
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Manners are a sensitive awareness of the feelings of others. If you have that awareness, you have good manners, no matter what fork you use.

Emily Post (1872-1960) American author, columnist [née Price]
(Attributed)

Often cited to her famous Etiquette in Society, in Business, in Politics, and at Home (1922), but not found in that work. Claimed as genuine by the Emily Post Institute.
 
Added on 4-Oct-18 | Last updated 4-Oct-18
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Lofty mountains are full of springs; great hearts are full of tears.

Joseph Roux
Joseph Roux (1834-1886) French Catholic priest
Meditations of a Parish Priest, 5.56 [tr. Hapgood (1886)]
 
Added on 30-Sep-16 | Last updated 30-Sep-16
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Reason! reason! … As much as you like; but beware of thinking that it answers to everything, suffices for everything, satisfies everything. This mother loses her child: will reason comfort her? Does cool reason counsel the inspired poet, the heroic warrior, the lover? Reason guides but a small part of man, and that the least interesting. The rest obeys feeling, true or false, and passion, good or bad.

Joseph Roux
Joseph Roux (1834-1886) French Catholic priest
Meditations of a Parish Priest: Thoughts, ch. 4, #95 (1886)
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Added on 25-Apr-16 | Last updated 25-Apr-16
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Men, as well as women, are much oftener led by their hearts than by their understandings.

Lord Chesterfield (1694-1773) English statesman, wit [Philip Dormer Stanhope]
Letter to his son, #154 (21 Jan 1748)
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Added on 2-Mar-15 | Last updated 12-Oct-22
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No tears in the writer, no tears in the reader. No surprise for the writer, no surprise for the reader.

Robert Frost (1874-1963) American poet
“The Figure a Poem Makes,” Collected Poems, Preface, “The Figure a Poem Makes” (1939)
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Added on 18-Nov-08 | Last updated 12-Jan-24
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He who knows only his own side of the case, knows little of that. His reasons may be good, and no one may have been able to refute them. But if he is equally unable to refute the reasons on the opposite side; if he does not so much as know what they are, he has no ground for preferring either opinion. The rational position for him would be suspension of judgment, and unless he contents himself with that, he is either led by authority, or adopts, like the generality of the world, the side to which he feels most inclination.

John Stuart Mill (1806-1873) English philosopher and economist
On Liberty, ch. 2 “Of the Liberty of Thought and Discussion” (1859)
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Added on 1-Feb-04 | Last updated 19-Oct-23
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The proper use of embarrassment is as a conscience of manners. As your conscience might trouble you if you do anything immoral, your sense of embarrassment should be activated if you do anything unmannerly. As conscience should come from within, so should embarrassment. Hot tingles and flushes are quite proper when they arise from your own sense of having violated your own standards, inadvertently or advertently, but Miss Manners hereby absolves everyone from feeling any embarrassment deliberately imposed by others.

Judith Martin (b. 1938) American author, journalist, etiquette expert [a.k.a. Miss Manners]
Miss Manners’ Guide to Excruciatingly Correct Behavior, Introduction (1983)
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Added on 1-Feb-04 | Last updated 26-Feb-24
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Those who believe that they believe in God, but without passion in their hearts, without anguish in mind, without uncertainty, without doubt, without an element of despair even in their consolation, believe only in the God idea, not in God Himself.

[Los que sin pasión de ánimo, sin congoja, sin incertidumbre, sin duda, sin la desesperación en el consuelo, creen creer en Dios, no creen sino en la idea de Dios, más no en Dios mismo.]

Miguel de Unamuno (1864-1936) Spanish philosopher and writer [Miguel de Unamuno y Jugo]
The Tragic Sense of Life [Del sentimiento trágico de la vida], ch. 9 “Faith, Hope, and Charity” (1912) [tr. Flitch (1921)]
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Alt. trans. [tr. Kerrigan (1972)]: "Whoever believes he believes in God, but believes without passion, without anguish, without uncertainty, without doubt, without despair-in-consolation, believes only in the God-Idea, not in God Himself."

Original Spanish.

In Unamuno's earlier, unpublished work Treatise on the Love of God [Tratado del amor de Dios], ch. 3 "What is Faith?" (1905-08) [tr. Orringer], he used this same phrase and surrounding text: "Those without passion in their soul, without anguish, without uncertainty, without doubt, without despair in consolation, think they believe in God; they believe only in the idea of God, but not in God Himself."
 
Added on 1-Feb-04 | Last updated 19-May-20
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