Quotations about:
    narcissism


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If a life is to be complete we must not stop with this dimension [length]. There are some people who never get beyond this first dimension of life. I’m sure you have seen such people. These people are only concerned about themselves. They seek to achieve their ambitions at any cost. They brilliantly develop their inner powers, but they live as if nobody else lives in the world but themselves. Other persons become mere steps by which they climb to their personal ambitions. There is nothing more tragic than to see a person bogged down in the length of life devoid of breadth.

Martin Luther King, Jr. (1929–1968) American clergyman, civil rights leader, social activist, preacher
Sermon (1954-01-24), “The Dimensions of a Complete Life,” Dexter Avenue Baptist Church, Montgomery, Alabama
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The italicized text at the end is from a different draft.

This was one of King's favorite sermons, possibly originating in 1952, and he reworked and delivered it (or reprinted it) throughout his life. Other versions:

But don't stop here; it is dangerous to stop here. There are some people who never get beyond this first dimension. They are brilliant people; often they do an excellent job in developing their inner powers; but they live as if nobody else lived in the world but themselves. There is nothing more tragic than to find an individual bogged down in the length of life, devoid of the breadth.
[Sermon (1959), "Dimensions of a Complete Life," The Measure of a Man]

But don’t stop here. It’s dangerous to stop with the length of life. And some people never get beyond this first dimension; they live life as if nobody else lived in the world but themselves. And other people become mere steps by which they climb to their personal ends and ambitions. And if they manage to get around to loving, it becomes a utilitarian love; they love only those people that they can use. My friends, I say to you this morning that there is nothing more tragic than to see an individual bogged down in the length of life, devoid of the breadth. And so we must add breadth to length.
[Sermon (1960-02-28), "The Three Dimensions of a Complete Life," Friendship Baptist Church, Pasadena, California]

We must not stop here. It’s dangerous to stop with the length of life. Some people never get beyond this first dimension of life, they’re often brilliant people. They develop their inner powers. They do extraordinarily well in their fields of endeavor. They live life as if nobody else lived in the world but themselves. Other people become mere means by which they climb to their personal ends or their personal ambitions. Their love is only a utilitarian love. There is nothing more tragic in life to find an individual bogged down in the length of life, devoid of the breadth.
[Sermon (1960-12-11), "The Three Dimensions of a Complete Life," Unitarian Church, Germantown, Pennsylvania]

Some people never get beyond this first dimension. They may be brilliant people who superbly develop their inner powers, but they are shackled by the chains of a paralyzing self-centeredness. They live within the narrow confines of their personal ambitions and desires. What is more tragic than to find an individual who is bogged down in the length of life devoid of breadth?
[Sermon (1963), "Three Dimensions of a Complete Life," "2. Breadth," Strength to Love, ch. 9]

Now, don't stop here, though. You know a lot of people get no further in life than the length. They develop their powers, they do their jobs well. But you know. they try to live as if nobody else lives in the world but themselves, and they use everybody as mere tools to get to where they're going. They don't love anybody but themselves, and the only kind of love they really have for other people is utilitarian love, you know, they just love people that they can use. A lot of people never get beyond the first dimension of life. They use other people as mere steps to which or by which they can climb to their goals and their ambitions. These people don't work out well in life.
[Sermon (1967-04-09), "The Three Dimensions of a Complete Life," New Covenant Baptist Church, Chicago (audio)]

 
Added on 5-Nov-26 | Last updated 5-Nov-26
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He that falls in love with himself, will have no Rivals.

Benjamin Franklin (1706–1790) American statesman, scientist, philosopher, aphorist
Poor Richard (1739 ed.)
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Added on 24-Apr-25 | Last updated 24-Apr-25
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The megalomaniac differs from the narcissist by the fact that he wishes to be powerful rather than charming, and seeks to be feared rather than loved. To this type belong many lunatics and most of the great men of history.

russell megalomaniac narcissist powerful charming feared loved

Bertrand Russell
Bertrand Russell (1872–1970) English mathematician and philosopher
Conquest of Happiness, Part 1, ch. 1 “What Makes People Unhappy?” (1930)
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Added on 19-Mar-25 | Last updated 19-Mar-25
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I don’t believe any man ever existed without vanity, and if he did he would be an extremely uncomfortable person to have anything to do with. He would, of course, be a very good man, and we should respect him very much. He would be a very admirable man — a man to be put under a glass case and shown round as a specimen — a man to be stuck upon a pedestal and copied, like a school exercise — a man to be reverenced, but not a man to be loved, not a human brother whose hand we should care to grip. Angels may be very excellent sort of folk in their way, but we, poor mortals, in our present state, would probably find them precious slow company. Even mere good people are rather depressing.

Jerome K. Jerome (1859–1927) English writer, humorist [Jerome Klapka Jerome]
Idle Thoughts of an Idle Fellow, “On Vanity and Vanities” (1886)
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Added on 8-Apr-24 | Last updated 8-Apr-24
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I am a recovering narcissist. I thought narcissism was about self-love till someone told me there is a flip side to it. It is actually drearier than self-love; it is unrequited self-love.

Emil Levine
Emily Levine (1944–2019) American humorist, writer, actress, speaker
“A Theory of Everything,” TED Talk, Monterey, California (Feb 2002)
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Added on 9-Dec-22 | Last updated 9-Dec-22
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The difference between narcissism and self-love is a matter of depth. Narcissus falls in love not with the self, but with an image or reflection of the self — with the persona, the mask. The narcissist sees himself through the eyes of another, changes his lifestyle to conform with what is admired by others, tailors his behavior and expression of feelings to what will please others. Narcissism is eye trouble, voluntary blindness, an agreement to keep up appearances (hence the importance of “style”) and not to look beneath the surface.

Sam Keen
Sam Keen (b. 1931) American author, professor, philosopher
The Passionate Life, ch. 8 (1983)
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Added on 11-Nov-22 | Last updated 11-Nov-22
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A person in love is humble. A person who loves has, so to speak, forfeited a part of his narcissism.

Sigmund Freud (1856–1939) Austrian psychoanalyst and neurologist
“On Narcissism: An Introduction [Zur Einführung des Narzißmus],” ch. 3 (1914) [tr. Strachey]
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Alternate translations:

The lover is humble. He who loves has, so to speak, forfeited a part of his narcissism.
[tr. Baines/Riviere]

Whoever loves becomes humble. Those who love have, so to speak, pawned a part of their narcissism.
[Source]

 
Added on 4-Nov-22 | Last updated 7-Nov-22
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All of nationalism can be understood as a kind of collective narcissism.

Geoff Mulgan
Geoff Mulgan (b. 1961) British academic, bureaucrat, policy advisor, journalist
“Because You’re Worth It,” The Guardian (12 Jun 2006)
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Added on 28-Oct-22 | Last updated 28-Oct-22
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There’s a reason narcissists don’t learn from mistakes and that’s because they never get past the first step, which is admitting that they made one. It’s always an assistant’s fault, an adviser’s fault, a lawyer’s fault. Ask them to account for a mistake any other way and they’ll say, “What mistake?”

Robert Hogan
Robert Hogan (b. 1937) American psychologist
Quoted in Jeffrey Kluger, The Narcissist Next Door, ch. 6 (2014)
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Added on 16-Sep-22 | Last updated 24-Mar-26
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Narcissists seem brave, they radiate charismatic energy, and they self-promote like mad. The big thing for narcissists is that they interview very well. Search committees can’t get enough of these guys.

Robert Hogan
Robert Hogan (b. 1937) American psychologist
In Jeffrey Kluger, The Narcissist Next Door, ch. 6 (2014)
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Added on 9-Sep-22 | Last updated 9-Sep-22
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For narcissists, setbacks are not opportunities to learn; they’re problems caused by somebody else who got in their way or sabotaged their plans.

Jeffrey Kluger
Jeffrey Kluger (b. 1954) American journalist, author
The Narcissist Next Door, ch. 1 (2014)
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Added on 3-Sep-22 | Last updated 3-Sep-22
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You’re mighty fond o’ Craig; but for my part, I think he’s welly like a cock as think’s the sun’s rose o’ purpose to hear him crow.

George Eliot (1819–1880) English novelist [pseud. of Mary Ann Evans]
Adam Bede, ch. 17 (1859)
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Mrs. Poyser, about Mr. Craig. Sometimes paraphrased, "He was like a cock, who thought the sun had risen to hear him crow."
 
Added on 28-Dec-18 | Last updated 28-Dec-18
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I knew he was done when he said “But I must be boring you” to me, which is narcissist-speak for “Now I’m bored.”

John Scalzi (b. 1969) American writer
The End of All Things (2015)
 
Added on 18-Oct-16 | Last updated 18-Oct-16
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Heads of the Church have often been narcissists, flattered and thrilled by their courtiers. The court is the leprosy of the papacy.

Francis I (1936–2025) Argentinian Catholic Pope (2013–2025) [b. Jorge Mario Bergoglio]
“How the Church Will Change,” interview with Eugenio Scalfari, La Repubblica (1 Oct 2013) [tr. K Wallace]
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Added on 8-Oct-14 | Last updated 8-Oct-14
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Self-love is often rather arrogant than blind; it does not hide our faults from ourselves, but persuades us that they escape the notice of others, and disposes us to resent censures lest we should confess them to be just.

Samuel Johnson (1709–1784) English writer, lexicographer, critic
The Rambler, #155 (10 Sep 1751)
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Added on 23-May-14 | Last updated 26-Jun-22
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A narcissist is someone better looking than you are.

Gore Vidal (1925–2012) American novelist, dramatist, critic
“Vidal: ‘I’m at the Top of a Very Tiny Heap,'” by Michiko Kakutani, New York Times (12 Mar 1981)
 
Added on 16-Oct-12 | Last updated 28-Jan-20
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