Dare not to be guilty of ill Things, tho’ thou wert sure to be secret and unpunished. Conscience will sit upon it, and that is Witness, Jury, Judge, and Executioner.
Thomas Fuller (1654-1734) English physician, preacher, aphorist, writer
Introductio ad Prudentiam, Vol. 2, # 2216 (1727)
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Quotations about:
self-esteem
Note not all quotations have been tagged, so Search may find additional quotes on this topic.
The man who underestimates himself is perpetually being surprised by success, whereas the man who overestimates himself is just as often surprised by failure. The former kind of surprise is pleasant, the latter unpleasant. It is therefore wise to be not unduly conceited, though also not too modest to be enterprising.
Bertrand Russell (1872-1970) English mathematician and philosopher
Conquest of Happiness, Part 2, ch. 10 “Is Happiness Still Possible?” (1930)
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Q. Is it ever acceptable to be rude?
A. No. Now, that doesn’t mean you have to let people walk all over you. Etiquette does not render you defenseless. If it did; even I wouldn’t subscribe to it. But rudeness in retaliation for rudeness just doubles the amount of rudeness in the world.
Judith Martin (b. 1938) American author, journalist, etiquette expert [a.k.a. Miss Manners]
Interview (2011-08), “Q and A with Miss Manners,” by Arcynta Ali Childs, Smithsonian magazine
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The proud man can learn humility, but he will be proud of it.
Mignon McLaughlin (1913-1983) American journalist and author
The Neurotic’s Notebook, ch. 3 (1963)
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When a man boasts, it is an indication he holds his listener in higher esteem than he does himself.
Marcelene Cox (1900-1998) American writer, columnist, aphorist
“Ask Any Woman” column, Ladies’ Home Journal (1955-06)
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All violence is an attempt to replace shame with self-esteem.
James Gilligan (b. c. 1936) American psychiatrist and author
(Attributed)
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Quoted by Jon Ronson in "Jon Ronson: By the Book," New York Times (9 Apr 2015). When asked what one book he would require a US President to read, he named Gilligan's Violence: Reflections on a National Epidemic, and then, having said he's talked with Gilligan, Ronson gives the quotation above, and this is the form it's usually given, often then cited to the book.
In the actual book, Violence: Reflections on a National Epidemic, ch. 5 (1997), Gilligan has:The different forms of violence, whether toward individuals or entire populations, are motivated (caused) by the feeling of shame. The purpose of violence is to diminish the intensity of shame and replace it as far as possible with its opposite, pride, thus preventing the individual from being overwhelmed by the feeling of shame. Violence toward others, such as homicide, is an attempt to replace shame with pride.
[The right wing] believe that their prestige in the community, even indeed their self-esteem, depends on having these values honored in public. Besides their economic expectations, people have deep emotional commitments in other spheres — religion, morals, culture, race relations — which they also hope to see realized in political action. Status politics seeks not to advance perceived material interests but to express grievances and resentments about such matters, to press claims upon society to give deference to non-economic values.
Douglas R. Hofstadter (b. 1945) American academic, cognitive scientist, author
“Pseudo-Conservatism Revisited — 1965,” sec. 4 (1965)
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It never ceases to amaze me: we all love ourselves more than other people, but care more about their opinion than our own.
Marcus Aurelius (AD 121-180) Roman emperor (161-180), Stoic philosopher
Meditations, Book 12, ch. 4 [tr. Hays (2002)]
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Alt. trans.:
- "I have often wondered how each man should love himself more than any other; and yet make less account of his own opinion concerning himself, than of the opinions of others." [tr. Foulis (1742)]
- "I have often wondered, whence it comes to pass, that although every one loves himself more than he does any other man, he should yet pay a greater regard to the opinion of other people concerning him than to his own." [tr. Graves (1792)]
- "I have often wondered how it comes to pass that everybody should love themselves best, and yet value their neighbor's opinion about themselves more than their own." [tr. Collier (rev.)]
- "I have often wondered how it is that every man loves himself more than all the rest of men, but yet sets less value on his own opinion of himself than on the opinion of others." [tr. Long (1862)]
- "How is it that every person loves themselves more than any other person, yet still gives more value to the opinions of others than the opinion they hold of themselves?" [tr. McNeill (2019)]
We sometimes find ourselves changing our minds without any resistance or heavy emotion, but if we are told that we are wrong we resent the imputation and harden our hearts. We are incredibly heedless in the formation of our beliefs, but find ourselves filled with an illicit passion for them when anyone proposes to rob us of their companionship. It is obviously not the ideas themselves that are dear to us, but our self-esteem which is threatened.
James Harvey Robinson (1863-1936) American historian and educator
The Mind in the Making, ch. 4 “Rationalizing” (1921)
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I think I am very cold and reserved to people, but I cannot ever realise to myself that anyone loves me. I believe that is partly the reason, or I dare realise it.
John Henry Newman (1801-1890) English prelate, Catholic Cardinal, theologian
Letter to Rev. J. Keble (27 Aug 1837)
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It would be hard to name a more certain sign of poor self-esteem than the need to perceive some other group as inferior.
Nathaniel Branden (1930-2014) Canadian-American psychotherapist, writer (b. Nathan Blumenthal)
The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem (1994)
Alcohol is nicissary f’r a man so that now an’ thin he can have a good opinion iv himsilf, ondisturbed be th’ facts.
[Alcohol is necessary for a man so that now and then he can have a good opinion of himself, undisturbed by the facts.]
Finley Peter Dunne (1867-1936) American humorist and journalist
“Mr. Dooley on Alcohol,” Chicago Tribune (26 Apr 1914)
Power multiplies flatterers, and flatterers multiply our delusions by hiding us from ourselves.
Charles Caleb "C. C." Colton (1780-1832) English cleric, writer, aphorist
Lacon: Or, Many Things in Few Words, Vol. 2, § 25 (1822)
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I have now come to the conclusion never again to think of marrying, and for this reason: I can never be satisfied with any one who would be block-head enough to have me.
Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865) American lawyer, politician, US President (1861-65)
Letter (1838-04-01) to Mrs. Orville H. Browning
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