The time for action is past! Now is the time for senseless bickering!
Ashleigh Brilliant (b. 1933) Anglo-American epigramist, aphorist, cartoonist
Pot-Shots, #1019
I could do great things, if I weren’t so busy doing little things.
Ashleigh Brilliant (b. 1933) Anglo-American epigramist, aphorist, cartoonist
Pot-Shots, #0828
I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at once.
Ashleigh Brilliant (b. 1933) Anglo-American epigramist, aphorist, cartoonist
Pot-Shots, #1520
Please don’t lie to me, unless you’re absolutely sure I’ll never find out the truth.
Ashleigh Brilliant (b. 1933) Anglo-American epigramist, aphorist, cartoonist
Pot-Shots
Life is the only game in which the object of the game is to learn the rules.
Ashleigh Brilliant (b. 1933) Anglo-American epigramist, aphorist, cartoonist
Pot-Shots, #1409
What I like most about myself is that I is that I’m so understanding when I do something wrong.
Ashleigh Brilliant (b. 1933) Anglo-American epigramist, aphorist, cartoonist
Pot-Shots, #1189
Sometimes I make a mental note, but then forget where I put it.
Ashleigh Brilliant (b. 1933) Anglo-American epigramist, aphorist, cartoonist
Pot-Shots, #2836
It’s hopeless! Tomorrow there’ll be even more books I should have read than there are today.
Ashleigh Brilliant (b. 1933) Anglo-American epigramist, aphorist, cartoonist
Pot-Shots, #2918
I may not be totally perfect, but parts of me are excellent.
Ashleigh Brilliant (b. 1933) Anglo-American epigramist, aphorist, cartoonist
Pot-Shots, #0433
Been through Hell? Whaddya bring back for me?
Ashleigh Brilliant (b. 1933) Anglo-American epigramist, aphorist, cartoonist
Pot-Shots
Why is everybody behaving as if there were no reason to panic?
Ashleigh Brilliant (b. 1933) Anglo-American epigramist, aphorist, cartoonist
Pot-Shots, #0305
My life has a superb cast but I can’t figure out the plot.
Ashleigh Brilliant (b. 1933) Anglo-American epigramist, aphorist, cartoonist
Pot-Shots, #0144
The one function that TV news performs very well is that, when there is no news, we give it to you with the same emphasis as if there were.
David Brinkley (1920-2003) American broadcast journalist
(Attributed)
Life may have no meaning. Or even worse, it may have a meaning of which I disapprove.
Ashleigh Brilliant (b. 1933) Anglo-American epigramist, aphorist, cartoonist
Pot-Shots, #1347
I don’t have any solution, but I certainly admire the problem.
Ashleigh Brilliant (b. 1933) Anglo-American epigramist, aphorist, cartoonist
Pot-Shots, #0759
No good revolutionary leader would ever bunt.
Crane Brinton (1898-1968)
The Anatomy of Revolution, 7.4 (1952)
The least questioned assumptions are often the most questionable.
Paul Broca (1824-1880) French pathologist, neurosurgeon, anthropologist
“Quelques propositions sur les tumeurs dites cancéreuses” (16 Apr 1849)
ELWOOD: Years ago my mother used to say to me, she’d say, “In this world, Elwood, you must be” — she always called me Elwood — “In this world, Elwood, you must be oh so smart or oh so pleasant.” Well, for years I was smart. I recommend pleasant. You may quote me.
Oscar Brodney (1905-2008) American screenwriter, lawyer
Harvey (1950) [with Mary Chase]
ELWOOD: Well, I’ve wrestled with reality for 35 years, Doctor, and I’m happy to state I finally won out over it.
Oscar Brodney (1905-2008) American screenwriter, lawyer
Harvey (1950)
with Mary Chase (playwright)
No science is immune to the infection of politics and the corruption of power.
Jacob Bronowski (1908-1974) Polish-English humanist and mathematician
Encounter (Jul. 1971)
There is always a “but” in this imperfect world.
Anne Brontë (1820-1849) British novelist, poet [pseud. Acton Bell]
The Tenant of Wildfell Hall, ch. 22 [Helen] (1848)
But he that dares not grasp the thorn
Should never crave the rose.
Feeling without judgement is a washy draught indeed; but judgement untempered by feeling is too bitter and husky a morsel for human deglutition.
Charlotte Brontë (1816-1855) British novelist [pseud. Currer Bell]
Jane Eyre (1847)
Conventionality is not morality. Self-righteousness is not religion. To attack the first is not to assail the last. To pluck the mask from the face of the Pharisee, is not to lift an impious hand to the Crown of Thorns.
Charlotte Brontë (1816-1855) British novelist [pseud. Currer Bell]
Jane Eyre, Preface, 2nd edition (21 Dec 1847)
I’ve dreamt in my life dreams that have stayed with me ever after, and changed my ideas: they’ve gone through and through me, like wine through water, and altered the color of my mind.
Emily Brontë (1818-1848) British novelist, poet [pseud. Ellis Bell]
Wuthering Heights (1847)
Love is like the wild-rose briar;
Friendship is like the holly-tree.
The holly is dark when the rose briar blooms,
But which will bloom most constantly?Emily Brontë (1818-1848) British novelist, poet [pseud. Ellis Bell]
“Love and Friendship” (1839)
Adding manpower to a late software project makes it later.
Frederick P. Brooks, Jr. (b. 1931) American computer scientist, academician
The Mythical Man-Month (1975)
Look, I really don’t want to wax philosophic, but I will say that if you’re alive, you’ve got to flap your arms and legs, you’ve got to jump around a lot, you’ve got to make a lot of noise, because life is the very opposite of death.
Mel Brooks (b. 1926) American comedic actor, writer, producer [b. Melvyn Kaminsky]
(Attributed)
Tragedy is if I cut my finger. Comedy is if you walk into an open sewer and die.
Mel Brooks (b. 1926) American comedic actor, writer, producer [b. Melvyn Kaminsky]
New Yorker, “Profiles: Frolics and Detours of a Short Hebrew Man” (by Kenneth Tynan) (30-Oct-1978)
Humor is just another defense against the universe.
Mel Brooks (b. 1926) American comedic actor, writer, producer [b. Melvyn Kaminsky]
(Attributed)
O, do not pray for easy lives. Pray to be stronger men! Do not pray for tasks equal to your powers. Pray for powers equal to your tasks.
Phillips Brooks (1835-1893) American clergyman, hymnist
“Going Up to Jerusalem,” Selected Sermons [ed. William Scarlett (1949)]
The true way to be humble is not to stoop till thou art smaller than thyself, but to stand at thy real height against some higher nature that will show thee what the real smallness of thy greatness is.
Phillips Brooks (1835-1893) American clergyman, hymnist
(Attributed)
Character may be manifested in the great moments, but it is made in the small ones.
Phillips Brooks (1835-1893) American clergyman, hymnist
(Attributed)
Great is Truth and it shall prevail.
[Magna est veritas et prævalebit.]
Thomas Brooks (1608-1680) English Puritan divine, writer
The Crown and Glory of Christianity (1662)
Alternate translation: "Truth is mighty and will prevail."
Whenever people say “we mustn’t be sentimental,” you can take it they are about to do something cruel. And if they add, “we must be realistic,” they mean they are going to make money out of it.
Brigid Brophy (1929-1995) Anglo-Irish writer, novelist, playwright
Unlived Life
Americans have a lazy habit of defining themselves in terms of what they are against rather than what they believe in.
A. Whitney Brown (b. 1952) American comic actor, writer
(Attributed)
I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.
A. Whitney Brown (b. 1952) American comic actor, writer
The Big Picture: An American Commentary (1991)
Appeasers believe that if you keep on throwing steaks to a tiger, the tiger will turn vegetarian.
Heywood Broun (1888-1939) American journalist, author
(Attributed)
(Source)
Quoted in Lin Yutang, The Wisdom of China and India (1942).
Don’t say you don’t have enough time. You have exactly the same number of hours per day that were given to Helen Keller, Pasteur, Michelangelo, Mother Teresa, Leonardo da Vinci, Thomas Jefferson, and Albert Einstein.
H. Jackson "Jack" Brown, Jr. (b. 1940) American writer
Life’s Little Instruction Book (1991)
Success is getting what you want. Happiness is liking what you get.
H. Jackson "Jack" Brown, Jr. (b. 1940) American writer
A Father’s Book of Wisdom (compiler) (1989)
The baby rises to its feet, takes a step, is overcome with triumph and joy — and falls flat on its face. It is a pattern for all that is to come! But learn from the bewildered baby. Lurch to your feet again. You’ll make the sofa in the end.
Pamela Brown (1924-1989) British writer, actress, television producer
The Swish of the Curtain (1938)
Think big thoughts but relish small pleasures.
H. Jackson "Jack" Brown, Jr. (b. 1940) American writer
Life’s Little Instruction Book (1991)
Morals are private. Decency is public.
Rita Mae Brown (b. 1944) American author, playwright
Starting from Scratch: A Different Kind of Writer’s Manual (1988)
I became a lesbian out of devout Christian charity. All those women out there are praying for a man and I gave them my share.
Rita Mae Brown (b. 1944) American author, playwright
Venus Envy (1993)
(Source)
Frequently paraphrased as: "My lesbianism is an act of Christian charity. All those women out there are praying for a man, and I'm giving them my share."
Never offend people with style when you can offend them with substance.
Sam W. Brown, Jr. (b. 1943) American activist, academic, diplomat
Washington Post (26 Jan. 1977)
There is surely a piece of divinity in us, something that was before the elements, and owes no homage to the sun.
Thomas Browne (1605-1682) English physician and author
Religio Medici, II.11 (1643)
I desire to exercise my faith in the most difficult point, for to credit ordinary and visible objects is not faith, but persuasion. Some believe the better for seeing Christ’s Sepulchre, and when they have seen the Red Sea, doubt not the miracle. Now contrarily I bless myself, and am thankful that I lived not in the days of miracles, that I never saw Christ nor His Disciples; I would not have been one of those Israelites that passed the Red Sea, nor one of Christ’s patients, on whom He wrought His wonders; then had my faith been thrust upon me, nor should I enjoy that greater blessing pronounced to all that believe and saw not.
Thomas Browne (1605-1682) English physician and author
Religio Medici, I.9 (1643)
But the iniquity of oblivion blindely scattereth her poppy, and deals with the memory of men without distinction to merit of perpetuity. […] Who knows whether the best of men be known? or whether there be not more remarkable persons forgot, then any that stand remembred in the known account of time?
Thomas Browne (1605-1682) English physician and author
Hydriotaphia, or Urne-Buriall, ch. 5 (1658)
(Source)
There is another man within me that’s angry with me.
Thomas Browne (1605-1682) English physician and author
Religio Medici, II.7 (1643)
No man can justly censure or condemn another, because indeed no man truly knows another.
Thomas Browne (1605-1682) English physician and author
Religio Medici, II.4 (1643)
No, when the fight begins within himself,
A man’s worth something.Robert Browning (1812-1889) English poet
“Bishop Blougram’s Apology,” l. 693 (1855)
Men get opinions as boys learn to spell: by reiteration chiefly.
Elizabeth Barrett Browning (1806-1861) English poet
Aurora Leigh, Bk. VI (1857)
I have so fixed my contemplations on Heaven, that I have almost forgot the Idea of Hell, and am afraid rather to lose the joyes of the one than endure the misery of the other; to be deprived of them is a perfect hell, & needs me thinkes no addition to compleate our afflictions; that terrible terme hath never detained me from sin, nor do I owe any good action to the name thereof: I feare God, yet am not afraid of him, his mercies make me ashamed of my sins, before his judgements afraid thereof: these are the forced and secondary method of his wisedome, which he useth but as the last remedy, and upon provocation, a course rather to deterre the wicked, than incite the vertuous to his worship. I can hardly thinke there was ever any scared into Heaven, they goe the fairest way to Heaven, that would serve God without a Hell, other Mercenaries that crouch unto him in feare of Hell, though they terme themselves the servants, are indeed but the slaves of the Almighty.
Thomas Browne (1605-1682) English physician and author
Religio Medici, Part 1, sec. 52 (1643)
(Source)
Think not thy time short in this World since the World itself is not long. The created World is but a small Parenthesis in Eternity, and a short interposition for a time between such a state of duration, as was before it and may be after it.
Thomas Browne (1605-1682) English physician and author
Christian Morals, Part 3, sec. 24 (1716)
(Source)
Ah, but a man’s reach should exceed his grasp,
Or what’s a heaven for?Robert Browning (1812-1889) English poet
Andrea del Sarto, l. 97 (1855)
A man in armor is his armor’s slave.
Robert Browning (1812-1889) English poet
Herakles
There’s a great text in Galatians,
Once you trip on it, entails
Twenty-nine distinct damnations,
One sure, if another fails.Robert Browning (1812-1889) English poet
“Soliloquy of the Spanish Cloister,” st. 7 (1842)
Take away the right to say “fuck” and you take away the right to say, “Fuck the government.”
Lenny Bruce (1925-1966) American comic
(Attributed)
Perhaps this is one of the most disarming of human traits: our sheer, dogged capacity for disbelief.
Stephanie Brush (b. 1954) American humorist, columnist
“And Into the Tunnel”
Truth does not change because it is, or is not, believed by a majority of the people.
Giordano Bruno (1548-1600) Italian philosopher
The Heroic Furies
No matter how subtle the wizard, a knife between the shoulder blades will seriously cramp his style.
Steven Brust (b. 1955) American writer, systems programmer
Jhereg (1983)
Everything is normal. It’s just that some normal things are weirder than other normal things.
Steven Brust (b. 1955) American writer, systems programmer
Teckla (1987)
I sometimes wonder if my entire adult life has been spent in an effort to avoid dirty dishes. One could, I suppose, have worse goals.
Steven Brust (b. 1955) American writer, systems programmer
Teckla (1987)
I’d rather go through trauma than discomfort, which may be my whole problem.
Steven Brust (b. 1955) American writer, systems programmer
“A Dream of Passion” (1986)
Truth, crushed to earth, shall rise again;
The eternal years of God are hers;
But Error, wounded, writhes in pain,
And dies among his worshippers.William Cullen Bryant (1794-1878) American poet and editor
“The Battle-Field,” l. 33
The error of youth is to believe that intelligence is a substitute for experience, while the error of age is to believe experience is a substitute for intelligence.
Lyman L. Bryson (1888-1959) American academic, educator
(Attributed)
Philosophers are capable of almost endless enjoyment of mutual misunderstanding.
Lyman L. Bryson (1888-1959) American academic, educator
(Attributed)
They may forget what you said, but they will never forget how you made them feel.
Carl W. Buehner (1898-1974) German-American Mormon leader and politician
(Attributed)
This quotation is widely quoted but never sourced. In addition to Carl W. Buehner, it's also attributed to Carl W. Büchner, and Carl Buechner.
I learned early to understand that there is no such condition in human affairs as absolute truth. There is only truth as people see it, and truth, even in fact, may be kaleidoscopic in its variety. The damage such perception did to me I have felt ever since … I could never belong entirely to one side of any question.
Pearl S. Buck (1892-1973) American writer
My Several Worlds (1954)
The Revolution is like Saturn — it eats its own children.
Karl Georg Büchner (1813-1837) German dramatist
Danton’s Death, Act I (1835)
Also attributed to Pierre Vergniaud, Girondin politician, speaking at the French National Assembly (16 Mar 1793): "Citizens, we now have cause to fear that the Revolution, like Saturn successively devouring his children, has finally given way to despotism and all the calamities that despotism implies."
The young do not know enough to be prudent, and therefore they attempt the impossible — and achieve it, generation after generation.
Pearl S. Buck (1892-1973) American writer
(Attributed)
I won’t insult your intelligence by suggesting that you really believe what you just said.
William F. Buckley, Jr. (1925-2008) American writer, editor
(Attributed)
I profoundly believe it takes a lot of practice to become a moral slob.
William F. Buckley, Jr. (1925-2008) American writer, editor
(Attributed)
If the Government is going to intrude upon the sacred ground of the First Amendment and tell its citizens that their exercise of protected speech could land them in jail, the law imposing such a penalty must clearly define the prohibited speech not only for the potential offender but also for the potential enforcer.
Ronald L. Buckwalter (b. 1936) US District Court Judge
ACLU, et al., v. Janet Reno, 96-963 (1996)
Believe nothing because it is written in books. Believe nothing because wise men say it is so. Believe nothing because it is religious doctrine. Believe it only because you yourself know it to be true.
Buddha (c.563-483 BC) Indian mystic, philosopher [b. Siddharta Gautama]
(Attributed)
It is wrong to think that misfortunes come from the east or from the west; they originate within one’s own mind. Therefore, it is foolish to guard against misfortunes from the external world and leave the inner mind uncontrolled.
Buddha (c.563-483 BC) Indian mystic, philosopher [b. Siddharta Gautama]
(Attributed)
To insist on a spiritual practice that served you in the past is to carry the raft on your back after you have crossed the river.
Buddha (c.563-483 BC) Indian mystic, philosopher [b. Siddharta Gautama]
(Attributed)
Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one getting burned.
Buddha (c.563-483 BC) Indian mystic, philosopher [b. Siddharta Gautama]
(Attributed)
Thousands of candles can be lighted from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared.
Buddha (c.563-483 BC) Indian mystic, philosopher [b. Siddharta Gautama]
(Attributed)
Just as a picture is drawn by an artist, surroundings are created by the activities of the mind.
Buddha (c.563-483 BC) Indian mystic, philosopher [b. Siddharta Gautama]
(Attributed)
To utter pleasant words without practicing them, is like a fine flower without fragrance.
Buddha (c.563-483 BC) Indian mystic, philosopher [b. Siddharta Gautama]
(Attributed)
Endurance is one of the most difficult disciplines, but it is to the one who endures that the final victory comes.
Buddha (c.563-483 BC) Indian mystic, philosopher [b. Siddharta Gautama]
(Attributed)
Do not believe in anything simply because you have heard it. Do not believe in anything simply because it is spoken and rumored by many. Do not believe in anything simply because it is found written in your religious books. Do not believe in anything merely on the authority of your teachers and elders. Do not believe in traditions because they have been handed down for many generations. But after observation and analysis, when you find that anything agrees with reason and is conducive to the good and benefit of one and all, then accept it and live up to it.
Buddha (c.563-483 BC) Indian mystic, philosopher [b. Siddharta Gautama]
The Kalama Sutta
You begin saving the world by saving one person at a time; all else is grandiose romanticism or politics.
Charles Bukowski (1920-1994) German-American author, poet
Tales of Ordinary Madness, “Too Sensitive” (1967)
Fate laughs at probabilities.
Edward George Bulwer-Lytton (1803-1873) English novelist and politician
Eugene Aram, Book I, ch. 10 (1832)
The easiest person to deceive is one’s own self.
Edward George Bulwer-Lytton (1803-1873) English novelist and politician
The Disowned, ch. 42 (1828)
Beneath the rule of men entirely great
The pen is mightier than the sword. Behold
The arch-enchanter’s wand! — itself a nothing! —
But taking sorcery from the master-hand
To paralyze the Caesars — and to strike
The loud earth breathless! — Take away the sword —
States can be saved without it!Edward George Bulwer-Lytton (1803-1873) English novelist and politician
Richelieu, Act 2, sc. 2 [Richelieu] (1839)
(Source)
See Shakespeare.
Video games, not parents, are to blame for many of these teenage crimes. I’m certain it was Frogger that taught my son to jaywalk.
John Bumbry (contemp.) systems analyst
(Attributed)
It is well for people who think to change their minds occasionally in order to keep them clean. For those who do not think, it is best to at least rearrange their prejudices once in a while.
Luther Burbank (1849-1926) American horticulturist
(Attributed)
The state is never so efficient as when it wants money.
Anthony Burgess (1917-1993) English novelist
(Attributed)
If in the last few years you haven’t discarded a major opinion or acquired a new one, check your pulse. You may be dead.
Gelett Burgess (1866-1951) American humorist and illustrator
(Attributed)
Common paraphrase. In Look Eleven Years Younger (1937), Burgess gives two versions of the quotation:See for more discussion.
- "When you find you haven’t discarded a major opinion for years, or acquired a new one, you should stop and investigate to see if you’re not growing senile."
- "If in the last few years you haven’t discarded a major opinion or acquired a new one investigate and see if you’re not growing senile."
Our patience will achieve more than our force.
Edmund Burke (1729-1797) Anglo-Irish statesman, orator, philosopher
Reflections on the Revolution in France (1790)
All persons possessing any portion of power ought to be strongly and awfully impressed with an idea that they act in trust.
Edmund Burke (1729-1797) Anglo-Irish statesman, orator, philosopher
Reflections on the Revolution in France (1790)
Never despair; but if you do, work on in despair.
Edmund Burke (1729-1797) Anglo-Irish statesman, orator, philosopher
(Attributed)
All government, indeed every human benefit and enjoyment, every virtue, and every prudent act, is founded on compromise and barter.
Edmund Burke (1729-1797) Anglo-Irish statesman, orator, philosopher
Speech on Conciliation with America (22 Mar 1775)
Nobody makes a greater mistake then he who does nothing because he could only do a little.
Edmund Burke (1729-1797) Anglo-Irish statesman, orator, philosopher
(Attributed)
There is, however, a limit at which forbearance ceases to be a virtue.
Edmund Burke (1729-1797) Anglo-Irish statesman, orator, philosopher
Observations on a Late Publication, “The Present State of the Nation” (1769)
Custom reconciles us to everything.
Edmund Burke (1729-1797) Anglo-Irish statesman, orator, philosopher
On the Sublime and the Beautiful, Sect. xviii. vol. i. (1756)
A state without the means of some change is without the means of its conservation.
Edmund Burke (1729-1797) Anglo-Irish statesman, orator, philosopher
Reflections on the Revolution in France (1790)
(Source)
The use of force alone is temporary. It may subdue for a moment; but it does not remove the necessity of subduing again; and a nation is not governed which is perpetually to be conquered.
Edmund Burke (1729-1797) Anglo-Irish statesman, orator, philosopher
“On Conciliation with America” (speech) (22 Mar 1775)