We are apt to forget that a great man is thus not only great, but also a man: that a philosopher, in a life time, spends less hours pondering the destiny of the race than he gives over to wondering if it will rain tomorrow and to meditating upon the toughness of steaks.
Explanations exist; they have existed for all time; there is always a well-known solution to every human problem — neat, plausible, and wrong.
H. L. Mencken (1880-1956) American writer and journalist [Henry Lewis Mencken]
“The Divine Afflatus,” New York Evening Mail (16 Nov 1917)
(Source)
Reprinted in Prejudices: Second Series (1920) and A Mencken Chrestomathy, ch. 25 (1949).
Variants:
- "There is always an easy solution to every human problem -- neat, plausible, and wrong."
- "For every complex problem, there is a solution that is simple, neat, and wrong."
We owe to capital the fact that the medical profession, for example, is now really useful to mankind, whereas formerly it was useful only to the charlatans who practiced it. It took accumulated money to provide the long training that medicine began to demand as it slowly lifted itself from the level of a sorry trade to that of a dignified art and science — money to keep the student while he studied and his teachers while they instructed him, and more money to pay for the expensive housing and materials that they needed. In the main, all that money came from private capitalists. But whether it came from private capitalists or from the common treasury, it was always capital, which is to say, it was always part of an accumulated surplus. It never could have been provided out of the hand-to-mouth income of a non-capitalistic society.
An historian is an unsuccessful novelist.
H. L. Mencken (1880-1956) American writer and journalist [Henry Lewis Mencken]
A Little Book in C Major, ch. 7, § 21 (1916)
(Source)
Variants:HISTORIAN. An unsuccessful novelist.
[A Book of Burlesques, "The Jazz Webster" (1924)]Historian - An unsuccessful novelist.
[Chrestomathy, ch. 30 "Sententiae" (1949)]
We must respect the other fellow’s religion, but only in the sense and to the extent that we respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children are smart.
H. L. Mencken (1880-1956) American writer and journalist [Henry Lewis Mencken]
Minority Report: H.L. Mencken’s Notebooks, # 1 (1956)
(Source)
What should be obvious and indisputable requires a public ceremonial to prove it! Why not a day for wearing little tin bathtubs to prove that one bathes, in the patriotic American manner, once a week? Why not white hatbands for gentlemen who are true to their wives? It is precisely the mark of the cad that he makes a public boast of what is inseparable from decency. He is the fellow who marches grandly in preparedness parades to show off his valor, his patriotism, his willingness to die for his country. He is the fellow who insults his mother by making a spectacle of the fact that he is on good terms with her.
The most a lawyer ever demands of the victim before him is that he be hanged, but the meekest clergyman is constantly proposing to doom his opponents to endless tortures in lakes of boiling brimstone.
It is hard to believe that a man is telling you the truth when you know you would lie if you were in his place.
H. L. Mencken (1880-1956) American writer and journalist [Henry Lewis Mencken]
A Little Book in C Major, ch. 2, § 15 (1916)
(Source)
Variants:CONFIDENCE. The feeling that makes one believe a man, even when one knows that one would lie in his place.
[A Book of Burlesques, "The Jazz Webster" (1924)]
Democracy is the theory that the common people know what they want, and deserve to get it good and hard.
H. L. Mencken (1880-1956) American writer and journalist [Henry Lewis Mencken]
A Little Book in C Major, ch. 2, § 1 (1916)
(Source)
Today the world changes so quickly that in growing up we take leave not just of youth but of the world we were young in. Fear and resentment of what is new is really a lament for the memories of our childhood.
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.
Margaret Mead (1901-1978) American anthropologist
(Attributed)
Phrase frequently attributed to Mead, but not found in her writings. The first sentence, however, is trademarked.
Mead founded the Institute for Intercultural Studies in 1944 (it dissolved in 2009). Regarding this quote, the IIS noted on its still extant website:We have been unable to locate when and where it was first cited, becoming a motto for many organizations and movements. We believe it probably came into circulation through a newspaper report of something said spontaneously and informally. We know, however, that it was firmly rooted in her professional work and that it reflected a conviction that she expressed often, in different contexts and phrasings.
Additional discussion about this quotation's origins: Never Doubt That a Small Group of Thoughtful, Committed Citizens Can Change the World; Indeed, It’s the Only Thing That Ever Has – Quote Investigator.
I see nothing wrong with the human trait to desire. In fact, I consider it integral to our success mechanism. Becoming attached to what we desire is what causes the trouble. If you must have it in order to be happy, then you are denying the happiness of the here and now.
The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn’t exist.
Christopher McQuarrie (b. 1968) American screenwriter, director
The Usual Suspects [Kint] (1995)
Kint gives this line twice: first about an hour into the movie, and second as one of its final lines.
See Baudelaire.
The nature documentaries are as absurdly action-packed as the soap operas, where a life’s worth of divorce, adultery, and sudden death are crammed into a weeks worth of watching — trying to understand “nature” from watching Wild Kingdom is as tough as trying to understand “life” from watching Dynasty.
Bill McKibben (b. 1960) American environmentalist, writer
The Age of Missing Information
Man has no nobler function than to defend the truth.
Ruth McKenney (1911-1999) American writer
(Attributed)
Bernard [of Clairvaux] did not stop with love for God or Christ, he insisted also that the Christian must love his neighbors, including even his enemies. Not necessarily that he must feel affection for them — that is not always possible in this life, though it will be in heaven — but that he must treat them as love dictates, doing always for others what he would that they should do for him.
None of us have all the heaven we want. Only poor deluded creatures are perfectly happy, and the Lord permits no delusions in His Home.
Donald McCaig (1940-2018) American writer, essayist, sheep farmer [pseud. Steven Ashley]
(Attributed)
It’s the heart afraid of breaking that never learns to dance.
It’s the dream afraid of waking that never takes the chance.
It’s the one who won’t be taken, who cannot seem to give,
And the soul afraid of dyin’ that never learns to live.
When the night has been too lonely and the road has been too long,
And you think that love is only for the lucky and the strong,
Just remember in the winter far beneath the bitter snows
Lies the seed that, with the sun’s love, in the spring becomes the rose.
Slumber not in the tents of your fathers. The world is advancing.
Giuseppe Mazzini (1805-1872) Italian social reformer
(Attributed)
Hate is not the opposite of love; apathy is.
Democracy is liberty plus economic security. We Americans want to pray, think as we please — and eat regularly.
Mary Maverick (1906-1976) American peace activist [Mary Maverick Lloyd]
(Attributed)
In literature, as in love, we are astonished at what is chosen by others.
[En littérature comme en amour, on est surpris par les choix des autres.]André Maurois (1885-1967) French author [b. Émile Salomon Wilhelm Herzog]
The Art of Living [Un Art de Vivre], ch. 6 “The Art of Working” (1939) [tr. Whitall (1940)]
(Source)
(Source (French)). Sometimes cited to the New York Times, but only because it was reprinted there in the article “Reading Matter: Some Bookish Quotes” (1963-04-14).
Law and order is like patriotism — anyone who comes on strong about patriotism has got something to hide — it never fails. They always turn out to be a crook or an asshole or a traitor or something.
Bill Mauldin (1921-2003) American editorial cartoonist, writer
Interview by Donald R. Katz, “Bill Mauldin: Drawing Fire,” Rolling Stone (4 Nov 1976)
(Source)
I have not been afraid of excess: excess on occasion is exhilarating. It prevents moderation from acquiring the deadening effect of a habit.
W. Somerset Maugham (1874-1965) English novelist and playwright [William Somerset Maugham]
The Summing Up, ch. 15 (1938)
(Source)
She had a pretty gift for quotation, which is a serviceable substitute for wit.
W. Somerset Maugham (1874-1965) English novelist and playwright [William Somerset Maugham]
“The Creative Impulse” (1931)
(Source)
The original version of the story in Harper's Bazaar (Aug 1926) does not include this phrase. (The story may also be the origin of the phrase "who-done-it" / "whodunit" for a mystery.)
Variant: "The ability to quote is a serviceable substitute for wit."
The even-more-brief "Quotation is a serviceable substitute for wit" is often misattributed to Oscar Wilde, George Bernard Shaw, and Voltaire; it is not found in their works.
More discussion about this quotation: Quotation Is a Serviceable Substitute for Wit – Quote Investigator.
All that the Devil asks is acquiescence … not struggle, not conflict. Acquiescence.
Suzanne Massie (contemp.) American writer, Russian historian
(Attributed)
I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn’t it.
Groucho Marx (1890-1977) American comedian [b. Julius Henry Marx]
(Spurious)
Groucho (in 1962) denied ever using the phrase (attributed to him as early as 1941). The earliest, somewhat dubious instance of it found is in 1936, attributed to comedian Hugh Hubert. More here.
GARIBALDI: No boom?
SINCLAIR: No boom.
IVANOVA: No boom today. Boom tomorrow. There’s always a boom tomorrow. What? Look, somebody’s got to have some damn perspective around here! Boom. Sooner or later. BOOM!Christy Marx (b. 1952) American screenwriter, photographer, game designer
Babylon 5, 1×15 “Grail” (6 Jul 1994)
(Source)
HARRIS: I could never be a woman, ’cause I’d just stay home and play with my breasts all day.
Steve Martin (b. 1945) American comedian, actor, writer, producer, musician
L. A. Story (1991)
(Source)
(Source (Video)).
Variant: "I could never be a woman. If I were, I would do nothing but sit at home all day playing with my breasts."
HARRIS: There is someone for everyone — even if you need a pickaxe, a compass, and night goggles to find them.
Steve Martin (b. 1945) American comedian, actor, writer, producer, musician
L. A. Story (1991)
(Source)
(Source (Video)). The IMDb entry reads "There's someone out there for everyone," but that does not line up with the soundtrack.
HARRIS: Ordinarily, I don’t like to be around interesting people because it means I have to be interesting too.
SARA: Are you saying I’m interesting?
HARRIS: All I’m saying is that, when I’m around you, I find myself showing off, which is the idiot’s version of being interesting.
Steve Martin (b. 1945) American comedian, actor, writer, producer, musician
L. A. Story (1991)
(Source)
Indeed, Miss Manners has come to believe that the basic political division in this country is not between liberals and conservatives but between those who believe that they should have a say in the love lives of strangers and those who do not.
The invention of the teenager was a mistake, in Miss Manners’ opinion. […] Once you identify a period of life in which people have few restrictions and, at the same time, few responsibilities — they get to stay out late but don’t have to pay taxes — naturally nobody wants to live any other way.
Judith Martin (b. 1938) American author, journalist, etiquette expert [a.k.a. Miss Manners]
Miss Manners’ Guide for the the Turn-of-the-Millennium, Part 2 “Home Life,” “Parents and Children” (1989)
(Source)
Treat your employees as if they were writing a book about you.
Judith Martin (b. 1938) American author, journalist, etiquette expert [a.k.a. Miss Manners]
“Miss Manners,” syndicated column (2003-08-17)
(Source)
We are all born charming, frank, and spontaneous and must be civilized before we are fit to participate in society.
There are three possible parts to a date, of which at least two must be offered: entertainment, food, and affection. It is customary to begin a series of dates with a great deal of entertainment, a moderate amount of food, and the merest suggestion of affection. As the amount of affection increases, the entertainment can be reduced proportionately. When the affection is the entertainment, we no longer call it dating. Under no circumstances can the food be omitted.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: Can you tell me a tactful way of letting a friend know that she is getting too fat?
GENTLE READER: Can you tell Miss Manners a tactful reason for wanting to do so?
Judith Martin (b. 1938) American author, journalist, etiquette expert [a.k.a. Miss Manners]
Miss Manners’ Guide to Excruciatingly Correct Behavior, Part 3 “Basic Civilization,” “Common Courtesy for All Ages” (1983)
(Source)
Miss Manners’ meager arsenal consists only of the withering look, the insistent and repeated request, the cold voice, the report up the chain of command, and the tilted nose. Also the ability to dismiss inferior behavior from her mind as coming from inferior people. You will perhaps point out that she will never know the joy of delivering a well-deserved sock in the chops. True — but she will never inspire one either.
Judith Martin (b. 1938) American author, journalist, etiquette expert [a.k.a. Miss Manners]
“Miss Manners,” syndicated column (1980-05-08)
(Source)
Ideological differences are no excuse for rudeness.
Judith Martin (b. 1938) American author, journalist, etiquette expert [a.k.a. Miss Manners]
“Miss Manners,” syndicated column (1978-10-08)
(Source)
On interactions between the general public and picketers, though she has used the phrase on other occasions.
Reprinted in Miss Manners’ Guide to Excruciatingly Correct Behavior, Part 3 "Basic Civilization," "Common Courtesy for All Ages" (1983).
Let us make a special effort to learn to stop communicating with each other, so that we can have some conversation.
Judith Martin (b. 1938) American author, journalist, etiquette expert [a.k.a. Miss Manners]
“Miss Manners,” syndicated column (1979-09-01)
Reprinted in Miss Manners' Guide to Excruciatingly Correct Behavior, Part 3 "Basic Civilization," "Social Intercourse" (1983).
Sometimes misattributed to Mark Twain. Often paraphrased (e.g., "Let us make a special effort to stop communicating with each other, so we can have some conversation").
More discussion of this quotation: Let Us Make a Special Effort to Stop Communicating with Each Other, So We Can Have Some Conversation – Quote Investigator®
The proper use of embarrassment is as a conscience of manners. As your conscience might trouble you if you do anything immoral, your sense of embarrassment should be activated if you do anything unmannerly. As conscience should come from within, so should embarrassment. Hot tingles and flushes are quite proper when they arise from your own sense of having violated your own standards, inadvertently or advertently, but Miss Manners hereby absolves everyone from feeling any embarrassment deliberately imposed by others.
Judith Martin (b. 1938) American author, journalist, etiquette expert [a.k.a. Miss Manners]
Miss Manners’ Guide to Excruciatingly Correct Behavior, Introduction (1983)
(Source)
When Miss Manners observes people behaving rudely, she never steps in to correct them. She behaves politely to them, and then goes home and snickers about them afterward. That is what the well-bred person does.
Judith Martin (b. 1938) American author, journalist, etiquette expert [a.k.a. Miss Manners]
Miss Manners’ Guide to Excruciatingly Correct Behavior, Introduction (1983)
(Source)
Do you want to be important? Do you want to be successful and respected? Then be useful. Do you want to make this a successful, fulfilling day? Then do something useful with it.
Ralph Marston (b. 1955) American writer, computer consultant
(Attributed)
If the First Amendment means anything, it means that a State has no business telling a man, sitting alone in his own house, what books he may read or what films he may watch.
Every time we start thinking we’re the center of the universe, the universe turns around and says with a slightly distracted air, “I’m sorry. What’d you say your name was again?”
Margaret Maron (1938-2021) American writer
(Attributed)
If a man has any greatness in him, it comes to light — not in one flamboyant hour, but in the ledger of his daily work.
Beryl Markham (1902-1986) Anglo-Kenyan aviatrix
(Attributed)