I asked a man in prison once how he happened to be there and he said he had stolen a pair of shoes. I told him if he had stolen a railroad he would be a United States Senator.
Mary Harris "Mother" Jones (1860-1930) American labor leader [a.k.a. Mother Jones]
Speech (1903), in The Autobiography of Mother Jones, ch. 10 (1925)
Quotations about:
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Note not all quotations have been tagged, so Search may find additional quotes on this topic.
A good novel tells us the truth about its hero; but a bad novel tells us the truth about its author.
Gilbert Keith Chesterton (1874-1936) English journalist and writer
Heretics, ch. 15 “On Smart Novelists and the Smart Set” (1905)
(Source)
Take me or leave me; or, as in the usual order of things, both.
Dorothy Parker (1893-1967) American writer
New Yorker (4 Feb 1928)
Many a man is saved from being a thief by finding everything locked up.
Edgar Watson "Ed" Howe (1853-1937) American journalist and author [E. W. Howe]
Ventures in Common Sense, 4.29 (1919)
Never marry a man you wouldn’t want to be divorced from.
Nora Ephron (1941-2012) American screenwriter, author, journalist, director
I Feel Bad About My Neck, “What I Wish I’d Known” (2006)
(Source)
Wherever there is authority, there is a natural inclination to disobedience.
Thomas Chandler Haliburton (1796-1865) Canadian politician, judge, humorist
Sam Slick’s Wise Saws and Modern Instances (1853)
When you have to make a choice and don’t make it, that is in itself a choice.
William James (1842-1910) American psychologist and philosopher
(Attributed)
Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you an automobile.
William Ashley "Billy" Sunday (1862-1935) American athlete, evangelist, preacher
In William T. Ellis, “Billy” Sunday, The Man and his Message, ch. 12 (1914)
We may dig in our heels and dare life never to change, but, all the same, it changes under our feet like sand under the feet of a sea gazer as the tide runs out. Life is forever undermining us. Life is forever washing away our castles, reminding us that they were, after all, only sand and sea water.
Erica Jong (b. 1942) American writer, poet
Parachutes and Kisses (1984)
I do not ask the wounded person how he feels, I myself become the wounded person.
Thinking is the activity I love best, and writing to me is simply thinking through my fingers. I can write up to 18 hours a day. Typing 90 words a minute, I’ve done better than 50 pages a day. Nothing interferes with my concentration. You could put an orgy in my office and I wouldn’t look up — well, maybe once or twice.
Isaac Asimov (1920-1992) Russian-American author, polymath, biochemist
(Attributed)
Take sides! Always take sides! You will sometimes be wrong — but the man who refuses to take sides must always be wrong! Heaven save us from poltroons who fear to make a choice.
Robert A. Heinlein (1907-1988) American writer
Double Star (1956)
We are what we worry about, maybe that’s the lesson of the whole thing.
Steven Brust (b. 1955) American writer, systems programmer
Iorich (2010)
Every old man complains of the growing depravity of the world, of the petulance and insolence of the rising generation. He recounts the decency and regularity of former times, and celebrates the discipline and sobriety of the age in which his youth was passed; a happy age which is now no more to be expected, since confusion has broken in upon the world, and thrown down all the boundaries of civility and reverence.
Samuel Johnson (1709-1784) English writer, lexicographer, critic
The Rambler, #50 (8 Sep 1750)
(Source)
You bid me burn your letters. But I must forget you first.
John Adams (1735-1826) American lawyer, Founding Father, statesman, US President (1797-1801)
Letter to Abigail Adams (28 Apr 1776)
What happens to all the tears we do not shed?
Jules Renard (1864-1910) French writer
Journal (Nov 1906) [tr. Bogan & Roget (1964)]
As with the Christian religion, the worst advertisement for Socialism is its adherents.
George Orwell (1903-1950) English writer [pseud. of Eric Arthur Blair]
The Road to Wigan Pier, ch. 11 (1937)
Never lend books, for no one ever returns them; the only books I have in my library are those that other people have lent me.
Anatole France (1844-1924) French poet, journalist, novelist, Nobel Laureate [pseud. of Jaques-Anatole-François Thibault]
La vie littéraire (1888)
What Darwin was too polite to say, my friends, is that we came to rule the Earth not because we were the smartest, or even the meanest, but because we have always been the craziest, most murderous motherfuckers in the jungle.
Stephen King (b. 1947) American author
Cell, “Gaiten Academy,” ch. 16 (2006)
A first-rate soup is more creative than a second-rate painting.
Abraham Maslow (1908-1970) American psychologist
Toward a Psychology of Being (1968 ed.)
To tax and to please, no more than to love and be wise, is not given to men.
Edmund Burke (1729-1797) Anglo-Irish statesman, orator, philosopher
“American Taxation,” speech, House of Commons (19 Apr 1774)
You cannot imagine the kindness I’ve received at the hands of perfect strangers.
W. Somerset Maugham (1874-1965) English novelist and playwright [William Somerset Maugham]
The Narrow Corner, ch. 15 (1932)
In regard to religion, mutual toleration in the different professions thereof is what all good and candid minds in all ages have ever practiced, and, both by precept and example, inculcated on mankind.
Samuel Adams (1722-1803) American revolutionary, statesman
“The Rights of the Colonists,” Report of the Committee of Correspondence to the Boston Town Meeting (1772-11-20)
(Source)
If thou desire to see thy child virtuous, let him not see his father’s vices: thou canst not rebuke that in them, that they behold practiced in thee; till reason be ripe, examples direct more than precepts: such as thy behaviour is before thy children’s faces, such commonly is theirs behind their parents’ backs.
Be slow in choosing a friend, slower in changing.
Benjamin Franklin (1706-1790) American statesman, scientist, philosopher, aphorist
Poor Richard’s Almanack
While there is a chance of the world getting through its troubles I hold that a reasonable man has to behave as though he was sure of it. If at the end your cheerfulness is not justified, at any rate you will have been cheerful.
H.G. Wells (1866-1946) British writer [Herbert George Wells]
Apropos of Dolores (1938)
As the births of living creatures at first are ill-shapen, so are all Innovations, which are the births of time.
Francis Bacon (1561-1626) English philosopher, scientist, author, statesman
“Of Innovations,” Essays, No. 24 (1625)
(Source)
A man has to live with himself, and he should see to it that he always has good company.
Charles Evans Hughes, Sr. (1862-1948) American statesman, politician, Supreme Court Justice (1910-1916, 1930-1941)
Address to the YMCA, New York
Quoted in The Homiletic Review (Nov 1907)
The invariable mark of wisdom is to see the miraculous in the common.
Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882) American essayist, lecturer, poet
“Nature,” ch. 8, Nature: Addresses and Lectures (1849)
(Source)
Change your opinions, keep to your principles;
change your leaves, keep intact your roots.
Victor Hugo (1802-1885) French writer
Victor Hugo’s Intellectual Autobiography (1907) [tr. O’Rourke]
Rejoice with them that do rejoice, and weep with them that weep.
The Bible (The New Testament) (AD 1st - 2nd C) Christian sacred scripture
Romans 12:15 [KJV]
Quoting 12:15-18: "Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep. Be of the same mind toward one another; do not be haughty in mind, but associate with the lowly Do not be wise in your own estimation. Never pay back evil for evil to anyone Respect what is right in the sight of all men. If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men."
The cynic is one who never sees a good quality in a man, and never fails to see a bad one. He is the human owl, vigilant in darkness, and blind to light, mousing for vermin, and never seeing noble game.
Henry Ward Beecher (1813-1887) American clergyman and orator
Proverbs from Plymouth Pulpit (1870)
Good humor may be said to be one of the very best articles of dress one can wear in society.
William Makepeace Thackeray (1811-1863) English novelist
Sketches and Travels in London, “On Tailoring — and Toilets in General” (1856)
Perfection is not attainable, but if we chase perfection, we can catch excellence.
Vince Lombardi (1913-1970) American football coach
(Attributed)
Remember that children, marriages, and flower gardens reflect the kind of care they get.
H. Jackson "Jack" Brown, Jr. (b. 1940) American writer
Life’s Instructions for Wisdom, Success, and Happiness (2001)
The chances of finding out what’s really going on in the universe are so remote, the only thing to do is hang the sense of it and keep yourself occupied.
Douglas Adams (1952-2001) English writer
The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, ch. 30 (1979)
The very poor can always be depended upon. They never turn away the hungry. Time and again, all over the United States, have I been refused food at the big house on the hill; and always have I received food from the little shack down by the creek or marsh, with its broken windows stuffed with rags and its tired-faced mother broken with labor. Oh! you charity-mongers, go to the poor and learn, for the poor alone are the charitable. They neither give nor withhold from the excess. They have no excess. They give, and they withhold never, from what they need for themselves. A bone to the dog is not charity. Charity is the bone shared with the dog when you are just as hungry as the dog.
Jack London (1876-1916) American novelist
“My Life in the Underworld,” Cosmopolitan Magazine (May 1907)
(Source)
Republished in The Road, Part 1, ch. 1 (1907). Recalling his days as a hobo in 1892.
Fashions in sin change.
Lillian Hellman (1905-1984) American playwright, screenwriter
Watch on the Rhine (1941)
What the world wants iz good examples, not so mutch advice; advice may be wrong, but examples prove themselves.
[What the world wants is good examples, not so much advice; advice may be wrong, but examples prove themselves.]
Josh Billings (1818-1885) American humorist, aphorist [pseud. of Henry Wheeler Shaw]
Everybody’s Friend, Or; Josh Billing’s Encyclopedia and Proverbial Philosophy of Wit and Humor, ch. 130 “Affurisms: Puddin & Milk” (1874)
(Source)
Experience iz a grindstun, and it iz lucky for us if we kan git brightened by it, not ground.
[Experience is a grindstone, and it is lucky for us if we can get brightened by it, not ground.
Josh Billings (1818-1885) American humorist, aphorist [pseud. of Henry Wheeler Shaw]
Everybody’s Friend, Or; Josh Billing’s Encyclopedia and Proverbial Philosophy of Wit and Humor, ch. 130 “Affurisms: Puddin & Milk” (1874)
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This aphorism was transformed / paraphrased in the early 1920s into something a bit more inspirational, first (it appears) in Forbes (1922-10-14), then in similar form in other periodicals such as The Beaver (1924-03) and Wood Construction (1924-09-15). The new form:
Life is a grindstone, and whether it grinds a man down or polishes him up, depen's on the stuff he's made of.
In an earlier pass of Billings quotations, I did up a meme, unknowingly based on that later phrasing:
When the political columnists say “Every thinking man,” they mean themselves, and when candidates appeal to “Every intelligent voter,” they mean everybody who is going to vote for them.
Franklin Pierce Adams (1881-1960) American journalist and humorist
Nods and Becks (1944)
Are all men in disguise except those crying?
Daniel "Dannie" Abse (1923-2014) Welsh poet
“Encounter at a greyhound bus station” (1986)
Your God is the best God.
In fact, he’s the only God.
All other Gods are ridiculous, made up rubbish.
Not yours though. Yours is real.
Has it ever occurred to you … that parents are nothing but overgrown kids until their children drag them into adulthood? Usually kicking and screaming?
Stephen King (b. 1947) American author
Christine, Part 1, ch. 3 (1983)
The best way to cheer yourself is to try to cheer somebody else up.
Mark Twain (1835-1910) American writer [pseud. of Samuel Clemens]
Mark Twain’s Notebook [ed. Paine (1935)]
Often given as "The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up." More discussion here.
The beginnings of all things are small.
[Omnium rerum principia parva sunt.]
Marcus Tullius Cicero (106-43 BC) Roman orator, statesman, philosopher
De Finibus Bonorum et Malorum, Book 5, ch. 58
Alt. trans.: "Everything has a small beginning."
I myself am made entirely of flaws, stitched together with good intentions.
Augusten Burroughs (b. 1965) American writer
Magical Thinking (2004)
PORTIA: How far that little candle throws his beams!
So shines a good deed in a naughty world.
William Shakespeare (1564-1616) English dramatist and poet
Merchant of Venice, Act 5, sc. 1, l. 99ff (5.1.99-100) (1597)
(Source)
In some versions, "So shines a good deed in a weary world."
Sometimes misattributed to Roald Dahl; Willy Wonka uses the line toward the end of the movie Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (1971).
Let us tenderly and kindly cherish, therefore, the means of knowledge. Let us dare to read, think, speak and write.
John Adams (1735-1826) American lawyer, Founding Father, statesman, US President (1797-1801)
“A Dissertation on the Canon and the Feudal Law” No. 4, Boston Gazette (1765-10-21)
(Source)
It doesn’t matter whether the cat is black or white, as long as it catches mice.
Deng Xiaoping (1904-1997) Chinese revolutionary, politician, statesman [Teng Hsiao-p'ing]
Speech, Communist Youth League conference (Jul 1962)
There are a variety of translations, and Deng used the phrase on numerous occasions.
Live now, believe me, wait not till tomorrow;
Gather the roses of life today.[Vivez, si m’en croyez, n’attendez à demain;
Cueillez dés aujourd’huy les roses de la vie.]
Pierre de Ronsard (1524-1585) French poet
“Quand vous serez bien vieille, au soir, à la chandelle,” l. 13, Sonnets pour Hélène (1578)
(Source)
A harmless hilarity and a buoyant cheerfulness are not infrequent concomitants of genius; and we are never more deceived than when we mistake gravity for greatness, solemnity for science, and pomposity for erudition.
Charles Caleb "C. C." Colton (1780-1832) English cleric, writer, aphorist
Lacon: or, Many Things in Few Words, #202 (1821 ed.)
All presidents start out to run a crusade, but after a couple of years they find they are running something less heroic and much more intractable: namely, the presidency.
Alistair Cooke (1908-2004) Anglo-American essayist and journalist
Talk About America, ch. 6 (1981)
GUIDERIUS: Fear no more the heat o’ the sun,
Nor the furious winter’s rages;
Thou thy worldly task hast done,
Home art gone, and ta’en thy wages:
Golden lads and girls all must,
As chimney-sweepers, come to dust.
William Shakespeare (1564-1616) English dramatist and poet
Cymbeline, Act 3, sc. 2, l. 331ff (3.2.331-336) (1611)
(Source)
An era can be said to end when its basic illusions are exhausted.
Arthur Miller (1915–2005) American playwright and essayist
“The Year It Came Apart,” New York Magazine (30 Dec 1974)
