It is disgusting to notice the increase in the quantity of coffee used by my subjects … If possible, this must be prevented. My people must drink beer.
Frederick II (1712-1786) King of Prussia (a.k.a. Frederick the Great)
Proclamation (13 Sep 1777)
I do not necessarily conquer my anger because I do not show that I am angry. Anger ventilated often hurries towards forgiveness; anger concealed often hardens into revenge.
Edward George Bulwer-Lytton (1803-1873) English novelist and politician
Caxtoniana, ch. 20 “On Self-Control” (1862-1863)
(Source)
GIRL SCOUT: Is this made from real lemons?
Caroline Thompson (b. 1956) American screenwriter
WEDNESDAY: Yes.
GIRL SCOUT: I only like all-natural foods and beverages, organically grown, with no preservatives. Are you sure they’re real lemons?
PUGSLEY: Yes.
GIRL SCOUT: Well, I’ll tell you what. I’ll buy a cup if you buy a box of my delicious Girl Scout cookies. Do we have a deal?
WEDNESDAY: Are they made from real Girl Scouts?
The Addams Family (1991) [with Larry Wilson]
A lawyer has no business with the justice or injustice of the cause which he undertakes, unless his client asks his opinion, and then he is bound to give it honestly. The justice or injustice of the cause is to be decided by the judge. Consider, sir; what is the purpose of courts of justice? It is, that every man may have his cause fairly tried, by men appointed to try causes. A lawyer is not to tell what he knows to be a lie: he is not to produce what he knows to be a false deed; but he is not to usurp the province of the jury and of the judge, and determine what shall be the effect of evidence — what shall be the result of legal argument.
Samuel Johnson (1709-1784) English writer, lexicographer, critic
In James Boswell, Journal of a Tour to the Hebrides, 15 Aug 1773 (1786)
The only time to eat diet food is while you’re waiting for the steak to cook.
Julia Child (1912-2004) American chef and writer
(Attributed)
The holiest of all holidays are those
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow (1807-1882) American poet
Kept by ourselves in silence and apart;
The secret anniversaries of the heart.
“Holidays”
From the earliest times, the old have rubbed it into the young that they are wiser than they, and before the young had discovered what nonsense this was they were old too, and it profited them to carry on the imposture.
William Somerset Maugham (1874-1965) English novelist and playwright
Cakes and Ale, ch. 11 (1930)
This was the most unkindest cut of all.
William Shakespeare (1564-1616) English dramatist and poet
Julius Caesar, Act 3, sc. 2 (1599)
What country before ever existed a century and half without a rebellion? And what country can preserve its liberties if their rulers are not warned from time to time that their people preserve the spirit of resistance? Let them take arms. The remedy is to set them right as to facts, pardon and pacify them. What signify a few lives lost in a century or two? The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants. It is its natural manure.
Thomas Jefferson (1743-1826) US President (1801-09)
Letter to William Stephens Smith (13 Nov 1787)
(Source)
Remember compliments you receive. Forget the insults. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.
Mary Schmich (b. 1953) American newspaper columnist
“Wear Sunscreen” Chicago Tribune (1 Jul 1997)
Life appears to me too short to be spent in nursing animosity or registering wrongs.
Charlotte Brontë (1816-1855) British novelist [pseud. Currer Bell]
Jane Eyre, ch. 6 (1847)
If you would lift me, you must be on higher ground.
Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882) American essayist and poet
“Eloquence,” Atlantic Monthly (Sep 1858)
It is indeed desirable to be well descended, but the glory belongs to our ancestors.
Plutarch (AD 46-127) Greek historian, biographer, essayist [Mestrius Plutarchos]
“Of the Training of Children,” Morals
Whether we are New Dealer, Old Dealer, Liberty Leaguer or Red, whether we agree or not, we still have the right to think and speak how we feel.
Lyndon Baines Johnson (1908-1973) US President (1963-69)
Speech, Chamber of Commerce Barbeque, Smithville, Texas (15 Sep 1939)
I don’t like sewing machines. I don’t understand how a needle with a thread going through the tip of it can interlock the thread by jamming itself into a little goddamn spool. It’s contrary to nature and it irritates me.
Neal Stephenson (b. 1959) American novelist
Zodiac, ch. 9 (1988)
They would not get a scratch with a pin to save the universe. They are more affected by the overturning of a plate of turtle soup than by the starving of a whole country.
William Hazlitt (1778-1830) English writer
“On Respectable People,” Table Talk (1822)
There will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who need no repentance.
The Bible (14th C BC - 2nd C AD) Christian sacred scripture
Luke 15:7
It has always been my ambition since childhood to live such a life that one day my fellow citizens would call me to membership in this popular branch of the greatest lawmaking body in the world. Out of their confidence and partiality they have done this. It is now my sole purpose here to help enact such wise and just laws that our common country will by virtue of these laws be a happier and a more prosperous country. I have always dreamed of a country which I believe this should be and will be, and that is one in which the citizenship is an educated and patriotic people, not swayed by passion and prejudice, and a country that shall know no East, no West, no North, no South, but inhabited by a people liberty loving, patriotic, happy, and prosperous, with its lawmakers having no other purpose than to write such just laws as shall in the years to come be of service to human kind yet unborn.
Sam Rayburn (1882-1961) American lawyer and politician
Maiden speech. House of Representatives (6 May 1913)
Congressional Record, vol. 50, p. 1249.
Among all the diseases of the mind there is not one more epidemical or more pernicious than the love of flattery.
Richard Steele (1672-1729) Irish writer and politician
The Spectator, #238 (3 Dec 1711)
Remember this: Arrogance and envy are not different qualities: they are merely different manifestations of the same qualities. The rich man who looks down upon or oppresses the poor man is the very man who, if poor, would envy and hate the man who is richer. Conversely, the poor man who regards with bitter and malignant envy the man who is better off, who preaches the doctrine of hate toward that man, is himself the man who, if it had happened that he were rich, would grind down the faces of those who were less well off than he.
Theodore Roosevelt (1858-1919) US President (1901-1909)
“The Cuban Dead,” speech, Arlington National Cemetery (12 Apr 1907)
(Source)
Speech at the dedication of the 1st US Voluntary Cavalry ("Rough Riders") monument.
I don’t know what you think about anniversaries. I like them, being always minded to drink my cup of life to the bottom, and take my chance of the sweets and bitters.
T. H. Huxley (1825-1895) English biologist [Thomas Henry Huxley]
Aphorisms and Reflections From the Works of T. H. Huxley, ed. Henrietta A. Huxley (1907)
Always bear in mind that your own resolution to succeed is more important than any other one thing.
President Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865) US President (1861-65)
Letter to Isham Reavis (5 Nov 1855)
It is a consolation to the wretched to have companions in misery.
Publilius Syrus (d. 42 BC) Assyrian slave, writer, philosopher [less correctly Publius Syrus]
Maxims, #995
Questions show the mind’s range, and answers, its subtlety.
Joseph Joubert (1754-1824) French moralist
Pensées (1838) [Notebooks, ed. Paul Auster (1983)]
Since the Creator had made the facts of the after-life inaccessible to man, He must not have required that man understand death in order to live fruitfully.
Daniel J. Boorstin (1914-2004) American historian, professor, attorney, writer
The Lost World of Thomas Jefferson, Notes (1948)
Of the seven deadly sins, anger is possibly the most fun. To lick your wounds, to smack your lips over grievances long past, to roll over your tongue the prospect of bitter confrontations still to come, to savor to the last toothsome morsel both the pain you are given and the pain you are giving back — in many ways it is a feast fit for a king. The chief drawback is that what you are wolfing down is yourself. The skeleton at the feast is you.
Frederick Buechner (b. 1926) American minister, author
Wishful Thinking (1971)
Alcohol is nicissary f’r a man so that now an’ thin he can have a good opinion iv himsilf, ondisturbed be th’ facts.
[Alcohol is necessary for a man so that now and then he can have a good opinion of himself, undisturbed by the facts.]
Finley Peter Dunne (1867-1936) American humorist and journalist
“Mr. Dooley on Alcohol,” Chicago Tribune (26 Apr 1914)
To be of no church is dangerous. Religion, of which the rewards are distant, and which is animated only by faith and hope, will glide by degrees out of the mind unless it be invigorated and reimpressed by external ordinances, by stated calls to worship, and the salutary influence of example.
Samuel Johnson (1709-1784) English writer, lexicographer, critic
Lives of the English Poets, “Milton” (1781)
(Source)
A cookbook is only as good as its worst recipe.
Julia Child (1912-2004) American chef and writer
(Attributed)
A man assumes that a woman’s refusal is just part of a game. Or, at any rate, a lot of men assume that. When a man says no, it’s no. When a woman says no, it’s yes, or at least maybe. There is even a joke to that effect. And little by little, women begin to believe in this view of themselves.
Erica Jong (b. 1942) American writer, poet
Fear of Flying, ch. 16 (1973)
If there’s nobody in your way, it’s because you’re not going anywhere.
Robert Francis Kennedy (1925-1968) American politician
(Attributed)
Variation: If there's nobody in your way, it's probably because you're not going anywhere.
An awful debility, a lessened utility,
Tom Lehrer (b. 1928) American mathematician, humorist, songwriter
A loss of mobility is a strong possibility.
In all probability I’ll lose my virility,
And you your fertility and desirability.
And this liability of total sterility
Will lead to hostility and a sense of futility,
So lets act with agility while we still have facility,
For we’ll soon reach senility and lose the ability!
“When You Are Old And Grey”
These words are razors to my wounded heart.
William Shakespeare (1564-1616) English dramatist and poet
Titus Andronicus, Act 1, sc. 4 (c. 1590)
I hold it, that a little rebellion, now and then, is a good thing, and as necessary in the political world as storms in the physical.
Thomas Jefferson (1743-1826) US President (1801-09)
Letter to James Madison (30 Jan 1787)
Referring to Shays' Rebellion.
Don’t waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes you’re behind. The race is long and, in the end, it’s only with yourself.
Mary Schmich (b. 1953) American newspaper columnist
“Wear Sunscreen” Chicago Tribune (1 Jul 1997)
He that wrestles with us strengthens our nerves and sharpens our skill. Our antagonist is our helper.
Edmund Burke (1729-1797) Anglo-Irish statesman, orator, philosopher
Reflections on the Revolution in France (1790)
It was observed of Elizabeth that she was weak herself, but chose wise counsellors; to which it was replied, that to choose wise counsellors was, in a prince, the highest wisdom.
Charles Caleb Colton (1780-1832) English clergyman, writer
Lacon: or, Many Things in Few Words, ch. 57 (1821 ed.)
The man who has nothing to boast of but his illustrious ancestry, is somewhat like a potato — the only good thing is under ground.
Sir Thomas Overbury (1581-1613) English poet
(Attributed)
Quoted in John Ireland, Letters and Poems by the Late Mr. John Henderson (1786).
The world has narrowed to a neighborhood before it has broadened to brotherhood.
Lyndon Baines Johnson (1908-1973) US President (1963-69)
Speech, New York City (17 Dec 1963)
Johnson used this phrase in several speeches around this time, e.g., in a speech at the Pageant of Peace Ceremonies, Washington, DC (22 Dec 1963): "We hope that the world will not narrow into a neighborhood before it has broadened into a brotherhood." Alternate: "We live in a world that has narrowed to a neighborhood before it has broadened to brotherhood."
Any property that’s open to common use gets destroyed. Because everyone has incentive to use it to the max, but no one has incentive to maintain it.
Neal Stephenson (b. 1959) American novelist
Zodiac, ch. 8 (1988)
Bureaucracy is the epoxy that greases the wheels of progress.
James H. Boren (1925-2010) American bureaucrat, humorist, speaker
When in Doubt, Mumble: A Bureaucrat’s Handbook (1972)
Everyone should be respected as an individual, but no one idolized.
Albert Einstein (1879-1955) German-American physicist
“My Credo,” Wisdom (Jan 1956)
The gates of repentance are always open.
The Talmud (AD 200-500) Collection of Jewish rabbinical writings
Midrash
In Louis J. Newman, comp., The Talmudic Anthology, ch. 282 (1945)
A little in drink, but at all times yr faithful husband.
Richard Steele (1672-1729) Irish writer and politician
Letters to His Wife, 27 Sep 1708 (1707-1712)
He had not learned that the majority in a democracy has no more right to tyrannize over a minority than, under a different system, the latter would have to oppress the former; and that, if there is a moral principle at stake, the saying that the voice of the people is the voice of God may be quite as untrue, and do quite as much mischief, as the old theory of the divine right of kings.
Theodore Roosevelt (1858-1919) US President (1901-1909)
Thomas Hart Benton, ch. 6 (1886)
(Source)
Judge a man by his questions rather than by his answers.
Voltaire (1694-1778) French writer [pseud. of Francois-Marie Arouet]
(Attributed)
I must save this government if possible. What I cannot do, of course I will not do; but it may as well be understood, once for all, that I shall not surrender this game leaving any available card unplayed.
President Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865) US President (1861-65)
Letter to Reverdy Johnson (26 Jul 1862)
Prosperity is no just scale; adversity is the only balance to weigh friends.
Plutarch (AD 46-127) Greek historian, biographer, essayist [Mestrius Plutarchos]
(Attributed)
In Watson Adams, The Rule of Life: or a Collection of Select Moral Sentences (1834)
Writing is closer to thinking than to speaking.
Joseph Joubert (1754-1824) French moralist
Pensées (1838) [Notebooks, ed. Paul Auster (1983)]
The Creator, who designed the human brain for activity, had insured the restlessness of all minds by enabling no single one to envisage all the qualities of the creation. Since no one by himself could aspire to a serene knowledge of the whole truth, all men had been drawn into an active, exploratory and cooperative attitude.
Daniel J. Boorstin (1914-2004) American historian, professor, attorney, writer
The Lost World of Thomas Jefferson, ch. 3, part 2 “The Happy Variety of Minds” (1948)
Our new Constitution is now established, and has an appearance that promises permanency, but in this world nothing can be said to be certain, except death and taxes.
Benjamin Franklin (1706-1790) American statesman, scientist, philosopher
Letter to Jean-Baptiste Leroy (13 Nov 1789)
Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.
Buddha (c.563-483 BC) Indian mystic, philosopher [b. Siddharta Gautama]
(Attributed)
Red meat and gin.
Julia Child (1912-2004) American chef and writer
(Attributed) (1996)
When asked at age 84 to what she credited her longevity.
‘Paradise Lost’ is one of the books which the reader admires and lays down, and forgets to take up again. None ever wished it longer than it is.
Samuel Johnson (1709-1784) English writer, lexicographer, critic
Lives of the English Poets, “Milton”(1781)
(Source)
Every country gets the circus it deserves. Spain gets bullfights. Italy gets the Catholic Church. America gets Hollywood.
Erica Jong (b. 1942) American writer, poet
“Take the Red–Eye….,” Epigraph, How To Save Your Own Life (1977)
‘Yes,’ I answered you last night;
Elizabeth Barrett Browning (1806-1861) English poet
‘No,’ this morning, sir, I say.
Colors seen by candle-light,
Will not look the same by day.
“The Lady’s ‘Yes’”, st. 1 (1844)
A man over ninety is a great comfort to all his elderly neighbors; he is a picket-guard at the extreme outpost; and the young folks of sixty and seventy feel that the enemy must get by him before he can come near their camp.
Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr. (1809-1894) American poet, essayist, scholar
The Guardian Angel (1867)
In all the ills which befall us, we look more at the intention than the effect. A tile which falls from the house may hurt more, but does not vex us so much as a stone thrown designedly by an ill-natured hand.
Jean-Jacques Rousseau (1712-1778) French philosopher and writer
Reveries of a Solitary Walker (1782)
Experience declares that man is the only animal which devours his own kind; for I can apply no milder term to the governments of Europe, and to the general prey of the rich on the poor.
Thomas Jefferson (1743-1826) US President (1801-09)
Letter to Col. Edward Carrington (16 Jan 1787)
Don’t worry about the future. Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blindside you at 4 p.m. on some idle Tuesday.
Mary Schmich (b. 1953) American newspaper columnist
“Wear Sunscreen” Chicago Tribune (1 Jul 1997)
To profit from good advice requires more wisdom than to give it.
John Churton Collins (1848-1908) American literary academic
(Attributed)
In Logan Pearsall Smith, A Treasury of English Aphorisms (1928)
It has long seemed to me that it would be more honorable to our ancestors to praise them in words less, but in deeds, to imitate them more.
Horace Mann (1796-1859) American educator
Speech, Boston (4 Jul 1842)
Until justice is blind to color, until education is unaware of race, until opportunity is unconcerned with the color of men’s skins, emancipation will be a proclamation but not a fact. To the extent that the Proclamation of Emancipation is not fulfilled in fact, to that extent we shall have fallen short of assuring freedom to the free.
Lyndon Baines Johnson (1908-1973) US President (1963-69)
Speech, Memorial Day, Gettysburg, Pennsylvania (30 May 1963)
(Source)
Any strategy that involves crossing a valley — accepting short-term losses to reach a higher hill in the distance — will soon be brought to a halt by the demands of a system that celebrates short-term gains and tolerates stagnation, but condemns anything else as failure. In short, a world where big stuff can never get done.
Neal Stephenson (b. 1959) American novelist
“Innovation Starvation,” World Policy Journal (Fall 2011)
GRANTAIRE: Red …
Alain Boublil (b. 1941) French musical theatre lyricist and librettist
MARIUS: I feel my soul on fire!
GRANTAIRE: Black …
MARIUS: My world if she’s not there!
CHORUS: Red …
MARIUS: The color of desire!
CHORUS: Black …
MARIUS: The color of despair!
Les Misérables, “Read and Black” [music by Claude-Michel Schönberg] (1980) [tr. Herbert Kretzmer (1985)]
SHYLOCK: Hath not a Jew eyes? Hath not a Jew hands, organs, dimensions, senses, affections, passions? Fed with the same food, hurt with the same weapons, subject to the same diseases, healed by the same means, warmed and cooled by the same winter and summer, as a Christian is? If you prick us, do we not bleed? if you tickle us, do we not laugh? if you poison us, do we not die? and if you wrong us, shall we not revenge?
William Shakespeare (1564-1616) English dramatist and poet
The Merchant of Venice, Act 3, sc. 1 (1596-98)
Use, do not abuse; neither abstinence nor excess ever renders man happy.
Voltaire (1694-1778) French writer [pseud. of Francois-Marie Arouet]
Sept discours en vers sur l’homme (1738)
Repentanse should be the effekt ov love — not fear.
[Repentance should be the effect of love -- not fear.]
Josh Billings (1818-1885) American humorist [pseud. of Henry Wheeler Shaw]
Josh Billing’s Encyclopedia, “Ink Lings” (1874)
Reading is to the mind what exercise is to the body.
Richard Steele (1672-1729) Irish writer and politician
The Tatler, #147 (1710)
There can be no effective control of corporations while their political activity remains. To put an end to it will be neither a short nor an easy task, but it can be done.
Theodore Roosevelt (1858-1919) US President (1901-1909)
“The New Nationalism,” speech, Osawatomie, Kansas (31 Aug 1910)
(Source)
Bromidic though it may sound, some questions don’t have answers, which is a terribly difficult lesson to learn.
Katharine Graham (1917-2001) American newspaper publisher
Interview in “Ms.” (1974)
When the morning’s freshness has been replaced by the weariness of midday, when the leg muscles quiver under the strain, the climb seems endless, and, suddenly, nothing will go quite as you wish — it is then that you must not hesitate.
Dag Hammarskjöld (1905-1961) Swedish diploamat, author, UN Secretary-General (1953-61)
Markings (1956) [tr. Sjöberg and Auden (1964)]
In the adversity of our best friends we often find something which does not displease us.
François VI, duc de La Rochefoucauld (1613-1680) French epigrammist, memoirist, noble
Réflexions ou sentences et maximes morales [Maxims] (1665-1678)
The aim of an argument or discussion should not be victory, but progress.
Joseph Joubert (1754-1824) French moralist
Pensées (1838) [Notebooks, ed. Paul Auster (1983)]
While the easiest way in metaphysics is to condemn all metaphysics as nonsense, the easiest way in morals is to elevate the common practice of the community into a moral absolute.
Daniel J. Boorstin (1914-2004) American historian, professor, attorney, writer
The Lost World of Thomas Jefferson, ch. 3 “The Physiology of Thought and Morals” (1948)
We must all hang together, or most assuredly, we shall all hang separately.
Benjamin Franklin (1706-1790) American statesman, scientist, philosopher
(Attributed)
Attributed remark at the signing of the Declaration of Independence (4 Jul 1776)
A man that does not know how to be angry does not know how to be good.
Henry Ward Beecher (1813-1887) American clergyman and orator
Proverbs from Plymouth Pulpit (1887)
What’s drinking?
George Gordon, Lord Byron (1788-1824) English poet
A mere pause from thinking!
The Deformed Transformed, III, i (1824)
Self-confidence is the first requisite to great undertakings.
Samuel Johnson (1709-1784) English writer, lexicographer, critic
Lives of the English Poets, “Pope” (1781)
(Source)
That was why most people led lives they hated, with people they hated. … How wonderful to have someone to blame! How wonderful to live with one’s nemesis! You may be miserable, but you feel forever in the right. You may be fragmented, but you feel absolved of all the blame for it. Take your life in your own hands, and what happens? A terrible thing: no one to blame.
Erica Jong (b. 1942) American writer, poet
“Intuition, extuition … ,” How To Save Your Own Life (1977)
Experience informs us that the first defence of weak minds is to recriminate.
Samuel Taylor Coleridge (1772-1834) English poet and critic
Biographia Literaria (1817)
A life which goes excessively against natural impulse is [...] likely to involve effects of strain that may be quite as bad as indulgence in forbidden impulses would have been. People who live a life which is unnatural beyond a point are likely to be filled with envy, malice and uncharitableness.
Bertrand Russell (1872-1970) English mathematician and philosopher
“Authority and the Individual”
The best way I kno ov tew repent of enny thing is tew do better next time.
[The best way I know of to repent of anything is to do better next time.]
Josh Billings (1818-1885) American humorist [pseud. of Henry Wheeler Shaw]
Josh Billing’s Encyclopedia, “Hooks & Eyes” (1874)
Hang sorrow! care’ll kill a cat.
Ben Jonson (1572-1637) English playwright and poet
Every Man in His Humour, Act 1, sc. 3 (1598)
The true friend of property, the true conservative, is he who insists that property shall be the servant and not the master of the commonwealth; who insists that the creature of man’s making shall be the servant and not the master of the man who made it. The citizens of the United States must effectively control the mighty commercial forces which they have called into being.
Theodore Roosevelt (1858-1919) US President (1901-1909)
“The New Nationalism,” speech, Osawatomie, Kansas (31 Aug 1910)
(Source)
There is no trap so deadly as the trap you set for yourself.
Raymond Chandler (1888-1959) American novelist
The Long Goodbye, ch. 12 (1953)
O, men of Athens … either acquit me or not; but whichever you do, understand that I shall never alter my ways, not even if I have to die many times.
Socrates (c.470-399 BC) Greek philosopher
In Plato, Apology, 29 [tr. Jowett (1894)]
He knows not his own strength that hath not met adversity.
Ben Jonson (1572-1637) English playwright and poet
Timber: or, Discoveries (1641)
To be capable of respect is, in these days, almost as rare as to be worthy of it.
Joseph Joubert (1754-1824) French moralist
Pensées (1838) [Notebooks, ed. Paul Auster (1983)]
While the Jeffersonian did not flatly deny the Creator’s power to perform miracles, he admired His refusal to do so.
Daniel J. Boorstin (1914-2004) American historian, professor, attorney, writer
The Lost World of Thomas Jefferson, ch. 1, part 2 “The Economy of Nature” (1948)
When a man points a finger at someone else, he should remember that four of his fingers are pointing to himself.
Louis Nizer (1902-1994) British-American lawyer
My Life in Court, ch. 1 (1961)
If men would consider not so much wherein they differ, as wherein they agree, there would be far less of uncharitableness and angry feeling in the world.
Joseph Addison (1672-1719) English essayist, poet, statesman
(Attributed)
Disputed. First attributed to "Addison" in the early 20th Century (Journal of the American Osteopathic Association (Apr 1906) and Tryon Edwards, A Dictionary of Thoughts (1908), but this may have been another man of the same last name who was credited with publishing Interesting Anecdotes, Memoirs, Allegories, Essays, and Poetical Fragments (1794).
Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with, that it’s compounding a felony.
Robert Benchley (1889-1945) American humorist
(Attributed)
Integrity without knowledge is weak and useless, and knowledge without integrity is dangerous and dreadful.
Samuel Johnson (1709-1784) English writer, lexicographer, critic
The History of Rasselas, Prince of Abissinia, ch. 41 (1759)
(Source)
I have not ceased being fearful, but I have ceased to let fear control me. I have accepted fear as a part of life, specifically the fear of change, the fear of the unknown, and I have gone ahead despite the pounding in the heart that says: turn back, turn back, you’ll die if you venture too far.
Erica Jong (b. 1942) American writer, poet
The Writer on Her Work, ch. 13 (1980)
Don’t laugh at a youth for his affectations; he’s only trying on one face after another till he finds his own.
Logan Pearsall Smith (1865-1946) American-English essayist, editor, anthologist
All Trivia: Trivia, More Trivia, Afterthoughts, Last Words (1945)
Age does not bring wisdom. Often it merely changes simple stupidity into arrogant conceit.
Robert A. Heinlein (1909-1988) American writer
Time Enough For Love (1973)
Men hate more steadily than they love; and if I have said something to hurt a man once, I shall not get the better of this by saying many things to please him.
Samuel Johnson (1709-1784) English writer, lexicographer, critic
In James Boswell, Life of Samuel Johnson (1791)
The basis of our government being the opinion of the people, the very first object should be to keep that right; and were it left to me to decide whether we should have a government without newspapers, or newspapers without a government, I should not hesitate a moment to prefer the latter.
Thomas Jefferson (1743-1826) US President (1801-09)
Letter to Colonel Edward Carrington (16 Jan 1787)
Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh, never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they’ve faded. But trust me, in 20 years, you’ll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can’t grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked. You are not as fat as you imagine.
Mary Schmich (b. 1953) American newspaper columnist
“Wear Sunscreen” Chicago Tribune (1 Jul 1997)
Few men are admired by their servants.
Michel de Montaigne (1533-1592) French essayist
Essays, Book 3, ch. 11 (1580-1588)
Advice in old age is foolish; for what can be more absurd than to increase our provisions for the road the nearer we approach to our journey’s end.
Marcus Tullius Cicero (106-43 BC) Roman orator, statesman, philosopher
(Attributed)
The color of the world
Alain Boublil (b. 1941) French musical theatre lyricist and librettist
Is changing day by day!
Red: the blood of angry men!
Black: the dark of ages past!
Red: a world about to dawn!
Black: the night that ends at last!
Les Misérables [music by Claude-Michel Schönberg] “Red and Black” [Enjolras] (1980) [tr. Herbert Kretzmer (1985)]
Heredity is a splendid phenomenon that relieves us of responsibility for our shortcomings.
Doug Larson (1902-1981) American journalist
(Attributed)
We have the opportunity to move not only toward the rich society and the powerful society, but upward to the Great Society.
Lyndon Baines Johnson (1908-1973) US President (1963-69)
Speech, University of Michigan (22 May 1964)
(Source)
In repenting ov sins, men are apt tew repent ov thoze they hain’t got, and overlook those they hav.
[In repenting of sins, men are apt to repent of those they haven't got, and overlook those they have.]
Josh Billings (1818-1885) American humorist [pseud. of Henry Wheeler Shaw]
Josh Billing’s Encyclopedia, “Ink Lings” (1874)
Prohibition makes you want to cry into your beer and denies you the beer to cry into.
Don Marquis (1878-1937) American journalist and humorist
“Sun Dial Time” (1936)
Why, when no honest man will deny in private that every ultimate problem is wrapped in the profoundest mystery, do honest men proclaim in pulpits that unhesitating certainty is the duty of the most foolish and ignorant? Is it not a spectacle to make the angels laugh? We are a company of ignorant beings, feeling our way through mists and darkness, learning only by incessantly repeated blunders, obtaining a glimmering of truth by falling into every conceivable error, dimly discerning light enough for our daily needs, but hopelessly differing whenever we attempt to describe the ultimate origin or end of our paths; and yet, when one of us ventures to declare that we don’t know the map of the universe as well as the map of our infinitesimal parish, he is hooted, reviled, and perhaps told that he will be damned to all eternity for his faithlessness.
Leslie Stephen (1832-1904) English critic, man of letters, biographer
“An Agnostic’s Apology,” Fortnightly Review (1876)
They say princes learn no art truly, but the art of horsemanship. The reason is, the brave beast is no flatterer. He will throw a prince as soon as his groom.
Ben Jonson (1572-1637) English playwright and poet
Timber, or Discoveries Made upon Men and Matter, para. 95 “Illiteratus Princeps” (1641)
From an aphorism by the Greek philosopher Carneades, quoted in by Montaigne, Essays, Book 3, ch. 7 "Of the Incommodity of Greatness" (1588): "Princes' children learnt nothing aright but to manage and ride horses; forsomuch as in all other exercises every man yieldeth and giveth them the victory; but a horse, who is neither a flatterer nor a courtier, will as soon throw the child of a king as the son of a base porter."
Of all forms of tyranny the least attractive and the most vulgar is the tyranny of mere wealth, the tyranny of a plutocracy.
Theodore Roosevelt (1858-1919) US President (1901-1909)
Autobiography, ch 22 (Mem. Ed.) (1913)
Admiration is the Daughter of Ignorance.
Benjamin Franklin (1706-1790) American statesman, scientist, philosopher
Poor Richard’s Almanack (1736)
Choosing to die resisting, rather than to live submitting, they fled only from dishonor, but met danger face to face.
Pericles (c. 495-429 BC) Greek statesman
Funeral Oration (431 BC)
In Thucydides, The Peloponnesian War, 2.42 [tr. Crawley and Wick (1982)]
Adversity has ever been considered the state in which a man most easily becomes acquainted with himself, then, especially being free from flatterers.
Samuel Johnson (1709-1784) English writer, lexicographer, critic
(Attributed)
Attributed in Tryon Edwards, A Dictionary of Thoughts (1891).
All luxury corrupts either the morals or the taste.
Joseph Joubert (1754-1824) French moralist
Pensées (1838) [Notebooks, ed. Paul Auster (1983)]
Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some hire public relations officers.
Daniel J. Boorstin (1914-2004) American historian, professor, attorney, writer
(Attributed)
What do We Mean by the Revolution? The War? That was no part of the Revolution; it was only an Effect and Consequence of it. The Revolution was in the Minds of the People, and this was effected from 1760 to 1775, before a drop of blood was shed at Lexington.
John Adams (1735-1826) US President (1797-1801)
Letter to Thomas Jefferson (24 Aug 1815)
Before yu undertaik tew change a man’s politiks or religion, be sure yu have got a beter one to offer him.
[Before you undertake to change a man's politics or religion, be sure you have got a better one to offer him.]
Josh Billings (1818-1885) American humorist [pseud. of Henry Wheeler Shaw]
Josh Billing’s Encyclopedia, “Nosegays” (1874)
Four legs good, two legs bad.
George Orwell (1903-1950) English writer [pseud. of Eric Arthur Blair]
Animal Farm, ch. 3 (1945)
Example is always more efficacious than precept.
Samuel Johnson (1709-1784) English writer, lexicographer, critic
The History of Rasselas, Prince of Abissinia, ch. 30 (1759)
(Source)
Jealousy is all the fun you think they had.
Erica Jong (b. 1942) American writer, poet
How To Save Your Own Life, Epigraph to “Bennett tells all in Woodstock …” (1977)
Thirty — the promise of a decade of loneliness, a thinning list of single men to know, a thinning brief-case of enthusiasm, thinning hair.
F. Scott Fitzgerald (1896-1940) American writer [Francis Scott Key Fitzgerald]
The Great Gatsby, ch. 7 (1925)
And, once sent out, a word takes wing beyond recall.
Horace (65-8 BC) Roman poet and satirist [Quintus Horacius Flaccus]
Epistles, Book 1, #18, l. 71
Our liberty depends on the freedom of the press, and that cannot be limited without being lost.
Thomas Jefferson (1743-1826) US President (1801-09)
Letter to Dr. James Currie (28 Jan 1786)
Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it’s worth.
Mary Schmich (b. 1953) American newspaper columnist
“Wear Sunscreen” Chicago Tribune (1 Jul 1997)
One of the pleasant things those of us who write or paint do is to have the daily miracle. It does come.
Gertrude Stein (1874-1946) American expatriate author, feminist
Paris France (1940)
Admiration is a very short-lived passion, that immediately decays upon growing familiar with its object.
Joseph Addison (1672-1719) English essayist, poet, statesman
“The Spectator,” #256 (24 Dec 1711)
The purse is any Highwayman’s who might meet me with a loaded pistol, but the Self is mine and God my Maker’s; it is not yours; and I will resist you to the death.
Thomas Carlyle (1795-1881) Scottish essayist and historian
“The Hero as King,” On Heroes, Hero-Worship, and the Heroic in History (1841)
Prosperity is a great teacher; adversity a greater.
William Hazlitt (1778-1830) English writer
“On the Conversation of Lords,” Sketches and Essays (1829)
Good impulses are naught, unless they become good actions.
Joseph Joubert (1754-1824) French moralist
Pensées (1838) [Notebooks, ed. Paul Auster (1983)]
A sign of a celebrity is often that his name is worth more than his services.
Daniel J. Boorstin (1914-2004) American historian, professor, attorney, writer
The Image: A Guide to Pseudo-Events in America (1961)
You’re the top!
Cole Porter (1891-1964) American composer and songwriter
You’re the Coliseum.
You’re the top!
You’re the Louvre Museum.
You’re a melody from a symphony by Strauss
You’re a Bendel bonnet,
A Shakespeare’s sonnet,
You’re Mickey Mouse.
You’re the Nile,
You’re the Tower of Pisa,
You’re the smile on the Mona Lisa.
I’m a worthless check, a total wreck, a flop!
But if, baby, I’m the bottom,
You’re the top!
“You’re the Top” (1934)
A caustic observer once remarked that when Dr. Johnson spoke of patriotism as the last refuge of a scoundrel, “he was ignorant of the infinite possibility contained in the word ‘reform.’”
Theodore Roosevelt (1858-1919) US President (1901-1909)
“Latitude and Longitude among Reformers” (Jun 1900)
See Johnson.
If you have men who will exclude any of God’s creatures from the shelter of compassion and pity, you will have men who will deal likewise with their fellow men.
Francis of Assisi (1182-1226) Italian Franciscan mystic, reformer, saint [b. Giovanni di Pietro di Bunardone]
(Attributed)
Man is not weak; knowledge is more than equivalent to force. The master of mechanicks laughs at strength.
Samuel Johnson (1709-1784) English writer, lexicographer, critic
The History of Rasselas, Prince of Abissinia, ch. 13 (1759)
(Source)
A baby is a full time job for three adults. Nobody tells you that when you’re pregnant, or you’d probably jump off a bridge. Nobody tells you how all-consuming it is to be a mother–how reading goes out the window and thinking too.
Erica Jong (b. 1942) American writer, poet
Fear of Fifty: A Middle Life Memoir, ch. 2 (1994)
My main problem is reconciling my gross habits with my net income.
Errol Flynn (1909-1959) Australian-American actor
Quoted in New York Times (5 Mar 1955)
Youth is a blunder; Manhood a struggle; Old Age a regret.
Benjamin Disraeli (1804-1881) English politician and author
Coningsby: Or, The New Generation, Book 3, ch. 1 (1844)
Sin lies only in hurting others unnecessarily. All other “sins” are invented nonsense.
Robert A. Heinlein (1909-1988) American writer
Time Enough for Love (1973)
All, too, will bear in mind this sacred principle, that though the will of the majority is in all cases to prevail, that will to be rightful must be reasonable; that the minority possess their equal rights, which equal law must protect, and to violate would be oppression.
Thomas Jefferson (1743-1826) US President (1801-09)
Inaugural Address (4 Mar 1801)
(Source)
It always did bother me that the American public were more interested in me than in my work. And after all there is no sense in it because if it were not for my work they would not be interested in me so why should they not be more interested in my work than in me. That is one of the things one has to worry about in America.
Gertrude Stein (1874-1946) American expatriate author, feminist
Everybody’s Autobiography, ch. 2 (1937)
Remorse drives the weak to despair and the strong to sainthood.
Marie von Ebner-Eschenbach (1830-1916) Austrian writer
Aphorisms (1880-1905) [tr. Scrase and Mieder (1994)]
Advice is seldom welcome; and those who want it the most, always like it the least.
Lord Chesterfield (1694-1773) English statesman, wit [Philip Dormer Stanhope]
Letter to his son (29 Jan 1748)
It is said that there were some respected men among my ancestors, too, but my father paid little attention to that. He judged each man by himself and not by his ancestors.
Louis L'Amour (1908-1988) American writer
Jubal Sackett (1985)
There is but one way for a president to deal with Congress, and that is continuously, incessantly, and without interruption. If it is really going to work, the relationship has got to be almost incestuous. He’s got to know them better than they know themselves. And then, on the basis of this knowledge, he’s got to build a system that stretches from the cradle to the grave, from the moment a bill is introduced to the moment it is officially enrolled as the law of the land.
Lyndon Baines Johnson (1908-1973) US President (1963-69)
Comment to Doris Kearns, in Lyndon Johnson and the American Dream (1976)
One more day till revolution,
Alain Boublil (b. 1941) French musical theatre lyricist and librettist
We will nip it in the bud!
We’ll be ready for these schoolboys,
They will wet themselves with blood!
Les Misérables, “One Day More” [Javert] [music by Claude-Michel Schönberg] (1980) [tr. Herbert Kretzmer (1985)]
People of privilege will always risk their complete destruction rather than surrender any material part of their advantage.
John Kenneth Galbraith (1908-2006) Canadian-American economist, diplomat, author
The Age of Uncertainty, ch. 1 (1977)
The first thing men do when they have renounced pleasure, through decency, lassitude, or for the sake of health, is to condemn it in others. Such conduct denotes a kind of latent affection for the very things they left off; they would like no one to enjoy a pleasure they can no longer indulge in; and thus they show their feelings of jealousy.
Jean de La Bruyère (1645-1696) French essayist, moralist
“Of Mankind”
I was much cheered upon my arrival (in prison), by the warden at the gate, who had to take particulars about me. He asked my religion, and I replied, ‘Agnostic.’ He asked how to spell it, and remarked with a sigh, “Well, there are many religions, but I suppose they all worship the same God.”
Bertrand Russell (1872-1970) English mathematician and philosopher
The Autobiography of Bertrand Russell: 1914-1944 (1968)
Underneath this stone doth lie
Ben Jonson (1572-1637) English playwright and poet
As much beauty as could die;
Which in life did harbor give
To more virtue than doth live.
“Epitaph on Elizabeth, Lady H—,” ll. 3-6.
You are entitled to know whether a man seeking your suffrages is a man of clean and upright life, honorable in all of his dealings with his fellows, and fit by qualification and purpose to do well in the great office for which he is a candidate ; but you are not entitled to know matters which lie purely between himself and his Maker. If it is proper or legitimate to oppose a man for being a Unitarian [...] then it would be equally proper to support or oppose a man because of his views on justification by faith, or the method of administering the sacrament, or the gospel of salvation by works. If you once enter on such a career there is absolutely no limit at which you can legitimately stop.
Theodore Roosevelt (1858-1919) US President (1901-1909)
Letter to J. C. Martin (9 Nov 1908)
(Source)
While we go with the stream, we are unconscious of its rapid course; but when we begin to stem it ever so little, it makes itself felt.
François Fénelon (1651-1715) French theologian, poet, writer [François de Salignac de la Mothe-Fénelon]
Letter to the Comtesse de Gramont (21 Mar 1690)
(Source)
If the elephants visit your farm you do not worry about the monkeys.
Other Authors and Sources
Hausa proverb
He who has imagination without learning has wings but no feet.
Joseph Joubert (1754-1824) French moralist
Pensées (1838) [Notebooks, ed. Paul Auster (1983)]
We suffer primarily not from our vices or our weaknesses, but from our illusions.
Daniel J. Boorstin (1914-2004) American historian, professor, attorney, writer
The Image: A Guide to Pseudo-Events in America, Preface (1961)
Every misfortune is to be subdued by patience.
[Superanda omnis fortuna ferendo est.]
Virgil (70-19 BC) Roman poet [b. Publius Vergilius Maro; also Vergil]
Aeneid, Book 5, l. 710 (c. 29-19 BC)
When you’re wounded and left on Afghanistan’s plains,
Rudyard Kipling (1865-1936) English writer
And the women come out to cut up what remains,
Jest roll to your rifle and blow out your brains,
An’ go to your Gawd like a soldier.
“The Young British Soldier” (1895)
When property becomes so fluctuating and the love of property so restless and so ardent, I cannot but fear that men may arrive at such a state as to regard every new theory as a peril, every innovation as an irksome toil, every social improvement as a stepping stone to revolution, and so refuse to move altogther for fear of being moved too far. I dread [...] lest they should at last so entirely give way to a cowardly love of present enjoyment as to lose sight of the interests of their future selves and those of their descendents and prefer to glide along the easy current of life rather than to make, when it is necessary, a strong and sudden effort to a higher purpose.
Alexis de Tocqueville (1805-1859) French writer and politician
Democracy in America, 2.3.21 (1840) [tr. Reeve and Bowen (1862)]
Of all the wonders of nature, a tree in summer is perhaps the most remarkable; with the possible exception of a moose singing “Embraceable You” in spats.
Woody Allen (b. 1935) American comedian, writer, director [b. Allan Steward Konigsberg]
“On Seeing a Tree in Summer”
Nothing will ever be attempted, if all possible objections must be first overcome.
Samuel Johnson (1709-1784) English writer, lexicographer, critic
The History of Rasselas, Prince of Abissinia, ch. 6 (1759)
(Source)
If you don’t risk anything, you risk even more.
Erica Jong (b. 1942) American writer, poet
Becoming Light: Poems New and Selected (1991)
Chronic remorse, as all the moralists are agreed, is a most undesirable sentiment. If you have behaved badly, repent, make what amends you can, and address yourself to the task of behaving better next time. On no account brood over your wrongdoing. Rolling in the muck is not the best way of getting clean.
Aldous Huxley (1894-1963) English novelist, essayist and critic
Brave New World, Forward (1946 ed.)
How foolish to think that one can ever slam the door in the face of age. Much wiser to be polite and gracious and ask him to lunch in advance.
Noël Coward (1899-1973) English playwright, actor, wit
Diary (3 Jun 1956)
An honest man speaks the truth, though it may give offence; a vain man, in order that it may.
William Hazlitt (1778-1830) English writer
Characteristics in the Manner of Rochefoucault’s Maxims, #387 (1823)
The care of every man’s soul belongs to himself. But what if he neglect the care of it? Well what if he neglect the care of his health or estate …? Will the magistrate make a law that he shall not be poor or sick? Laws provide against injury from others, but not from ourselves. God himself will not save men against their wills.
Thomas Jefferson (1743-1826) US President (1801-09)
Notes labeled “Scraps Early in the Revolution” (Oct 1776?)
For a very long time everybody refuses and then almost without a pause almost everybody accepts. In the history of the refused in the arts and literature the rapidity of the change is always startling.
Gertrude Stein (1874-1946) American expatriate author, feminist
Composition as Explanation (1926)
UGARTE: You despise me, don’t you?
Joseph Epstein (b. 1937) American writer
RICK: Well, if I gave it any thought, I would.
Casablanca (1942) [with Philip Epstein and Howard Koch]
A good friend who points out mistakes and imperfections and rebukes evil is to be respected than though he revealed a secret of hidden treasure.
Buddha (c.563-483 BC) Indian mystic, philosopher [b. Siddharta Gautama]
A Buddhist Bible [ed. Dwight Goddard (1932)]
My ancestors were Puritans from England. They arrived here in 1648 in the hope of finding greater restrictions than were permissible under English law at that time.
Garrison Keillor (b. 1942) American entertainer, author
In New York Times (30 Mar 1990)
There are no problems we cannot solve together, and very few that we can solve by ourselves.
Lyndon Baines Johnson (1908-1973) US President (1963-69)
(Attributed)
Tomorrow we’ll discover
Alain Boublil (b. 1941) French musical theatre lyricist and librettist
What our God in Heaven has in store!
One more dawn,
One more day,
One day more!
Les Misérables, “One Day More” [music by Claude-Michel Schönberg] (1980) [tr. Herbert Kretzmer (1985)]
Repartee is what you wish you’d said.
Heywood Broun (1888-1939) American journalist, author
(Attributed)
In Robert Drennan, ed., The Algonquin Wits, "Heywood Broun" (1968).
Abstinence is as easy to me as temperance would be difficult.
Samuel Johnson (1709-1784) English writer, lexicographer, critic
(Attributed)
When urged by Hannah More to have some wine with dinner. Quoted in Mrs. Ellis, A Voice From the Vintage (1843).
There must be either a predestined Necessity and inviolable plan, or a gracious Providence, or a chaos without design or director. If then there be an inevitable Necessity, why kick against the pricks? If a Providence that is ready to be gracious, render thyself worthy of divine succour. But if a chaos without guide, congratulate thyself that amid such a surging sea thou hast a guiding Reason.
Marcus Aureleus (121-180) Roman emperor (161-180)
Meditations [tr. Haines]
Thy praise or dispraise is to me alike;
Ben Jonson (1572-1637) English playwright and poet
One doth not stroke me, nor the other strike.
The Works of Ben Jonson, First Folio, Epigram 61 “To Fool, or Knave” (1616)
The demand for a statement of a candidate’s religious belief can have no meaning except that there may be discrimination for or against him because of that belief. Discrimination against the holder of one faith means retaliatory discrimination against men of other faiths. The inevitable result of entering upon such a practice would be an abandonment of our real freedom of conscience and a reversion to the dreadful conditions of religious dissension which in so many lands have proved fatal to true liberty, to true religion, and to all advance in civilization.
Theodore Roosevelt (1858-1919) US President (1901-1909)
Letter to J. C. Martin (9 Nov 1908)
(Source)
Science deals mainly with facts; religion deals mainly with values. The two are not rivals. They are complementary.
Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr. (1929-1968) American clergyman and reformer
Strength to Love, 1.1 (1963)
Whipping and abuse are like laudanum; you have to double the dose as the sensibilities decline.
Harriet Beecher Stowe (1811-1896) American author
Uncle Tom’s Cabin, ch. 20 (1852)
Aromatic plants bestow
Oliver Goldsmith (1730-1774) British poet, playwright, novelist
No spicy fragrance while they grow;
But crush’d or trodden to the ground,
Diffuse their balmy sweets around.
The Captivity, Act 1 (1764)
When you go in search of honey you must expect to be stung by bees.
Joseph Joubert (1754-1824) French moralist
Pensées (1838) [Notebooks, ed. Paul Auster (1983)]
… I saw these terrible things,
and took great part in them.[... quaeque ipse miserrima vidi
Virgil (70-19 BC) Roman poet [b. Publius Vergilius Maro; also Vergil]
et quorum pars magna fui.]
Aeneid, Book 2, l. 5 (c. 29-19 BC) [tr. Mantinband (1964)]
Aeneas, referring to the sacking of Troy.
Alt. trans.: "All of which misery I saw, and a great part of which I was."
The question is not,
Jeremy Bentham (1748-1832) English jurist and philosopher
Can they reason? nor,
Can they talk? but,
Can they suffer?
Principles of Morals and Legislation (1789)
On animals.
Men are not rational beings, as commonly supposed. A man is a bundle of instincts, feelings, sentiments, which severally seek their gratification, and those which are in power get hold of the reason and use it to their own ends, and exclude all other sentiments and feelings from power.
Herbert Spencer (1820-1903) English philosopher, naturalist
Letter to J. A. Skilton (10 Jan 1895)
It is seldom that we find either men or places such as we expect them.
Samuel Johnson (1709-1784) English writer, lexicographer, critic
The Idler, #58 (26 May 1759)
(Source)
Many people today believe that cynicism requires courage. Actually, cynicism is the height of cowardice. It is innocence and open-heartedness that requires the true courage — however often we are hurt as a result of it.
Erica Jong (b. 1942) American writer, poet
How to Save Your Own Life (1977)
Anarchy is the sure consequence of tyranny.
Thomas Babington Macaulay (1800-1859) English writer and politician
“A Conversation Between Mr. Abraham Cowley and Mr. John Milton,” Knight’s Quarterly Journal (Aug 1824)
If you can, help others. If you can’t, at least don’t hurt others.
The Dalai Lama (b. 1935) Tibetan Buddhist spiritual leader [The 14th Dalai Lama; a/k/a Lhama Thondup / Lhama Dhondrub; b. Tenzin Gyatso]
(Attributed)
So, we’ll go no more a-roving
So late into the night,
Though the heart be still as loving,
And the moon be still as bright.For the sword outwears its sheath,
And the soul wears out the breast,
And the heart must pause to breathe,
And love itself have rest.Though the night was made for loving,
George Gordon, Lord Byron (1788-1824) English poet
And the day returns too soon,
Yet we’ll go no more a-roving
By the light of the moon.
“So We’ll Go No More A-Roving” (1817)
(Source)
The doctrines of Jesus are simple, and tend all to the happiness of man. But compare with these the demoralizing dogmas of Calvin.
Thomas Jefferson (1743-1826) US President (1801-09)
1. That there are three Gods.
2. That good works, or the love of our neighbor, is nothing.
3. That faith is everything, and the more incomprehensible the proposition, the more merit the faith.
4. That reason in religion is of unlawful use.
5. That God, from the beginning, elected certain individuals to be saved, and certain others to be damned; and that no crimes of the former can damn them; no virtues of the latter save.
Letter to Benjamin Waterhouse (26 Jun 1822)
“What is the answer?” [ I was silent ] “In that case, what is the question?”
Gertrude Stein (1874-1946) American expatriate author, feminist
Last words (27 Jul 1946)
In Alice B. Toklas, What Is Remembered (1963).
1st Moral – Advice is good only as corroborating testimony.
2nd Moral – If you put yourself into the hands of your friends, you must expect that the kindness of their hearts is no protection against the willfulness of their judgments.
3rd Moral – Advice is like a doctor’s pills: it is often advisable to receive them without taking them.
4th Moral – One man can always milk a cow better than four can.[1st Moral - Advice iz good only az corroborating testimony.
Josh Billings (1818-1885) American humorist [pseud. of Henry Wheeler Shaw]
2nd Moral - If yu put yureself into the hands ov yure frends, yu must expekt that the kindness ov their hearts iz no protekshun aginst the willfullness ov their judgments.
3rd Moral - Advice iz like a doktor's pills: it iz often advisabel tew receive them without taking them.
4th Moral - One man kan alwus milk a cow better than 4 kan.]
“Josh Billings: Hiz Shade Tree,” Josh Billings on Ice and Other Things (1868)
This sad little lizard told me that he was a Brontosaurus on his mother’s side. I did not laugh; people who boast of ancestry often have little else to sustain them. Humoring them costs nothing and adds to happiness in a world in which happiness is in short supply.
Robert A. Heinlein (1909-1988) American writer
Time Enough for Love (1973)
It is a man’s task to execute, within the time that God allots to him on Earth, a human mission to do God’s will by working for the coming of God’s Kingdom in Earth as it is in Heaven.
Arnold Toynbee (1889-1975) English historian
A Study of History, 10.39 (1954)
There are no favorites in my office. I treat them all with the same general inconsideration.
Lyndon Baines Johnson (1908-1973) US President (1963-69)
(Attributed)
Old men, young men, take ‘em as they come,
Alain Boublil (b. 1941) French musical theatre lyricist and librettist
Harbor rats and alley cats and every type of scum,
Poor men, rich men, leaders of the land,
See them with their trousers off, they’re never quite as grand.
All it takes is money in your hand!
Les Misérables, “Lovely Ladies” [music by Claude-Michel Schönberg] (1980) [tr. Herbert Kretzmer (1985)]
Marriage has many pains, but celibacy has no pleasures.
Samuel Johnson (1709-1784) English writer, lexicographer, critic
Rasselas, ch. 26 (1759)
The real character of a man is found out by his amusements.
Sir Joshua Reynolds (1723-1792) British painter, critic
(Attributed)
In Samuel Arthur Bent, Short Sayings of Great Men (1882).
I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the time he killed himself.
Johnny Carson (1925-2005) American talk show host
“The Tonight Show” (20 Nov 1984)
Farewell, thou child of my right hand, and joy!
Ben Jonson (1572-1637) English playwright and poet
My sin was too much hope of thee, loved boy.
Seven years thou wert lent to me, and I thee pay,
Exacted by thy fate, on the just day.
O, could I lose all father now. For why
Will man lament the state he should envy?
To have soon ‘scaped world’s and flesh’s rage,
And, if no other misery, yet age!
Rest in soft peace, and, asked, say here doth lie
Ben Jonson his best piece of poetry:
For whose sake, henceforth, all his vows be such,
As what he loves may never like too much.
The Works of Ben Jonson, First Folio, Epigram 45, “On My First Son,” ll. 1-12 (1616)
There are none more abusive to others than they that lie most open to it themselves; but the humor goes round, and he that laughs at me today will have somebody to laugh at him tomorrow.
Seneca the Younger (c. 4 BC-AD 65) Roman statesman, philosopher, playwright [Lucius Annaeus Seneca]
Moral Essays, “Of Anger”
One month in the school of affliction will teach thee more than the great precepts of Aristotle in seven years; for thou canst never judge rightly of human affairs, unless thou hast first felt the blows, and found out the deceits of fortune.
Thomas Fuller (1654-1734) English writer, physician
Introductio ad Prudentiam (1731)
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