NARRATOR: No moral. No message. No prophetic tract. Just a simple statement of fact: for civilization to survive, the human race has to remain civilized. Tonight’s very small exercise in logic from the Twilight Zone.

Serling - civlization to survive - wist_info quote

Rod Serling
Rod Serling (1924-1975) American writer
The Twilight Zone, 3×03 “The Shelter” (29 Sep 1961)
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Men love better books which please them than those which instruct. Since their ennui troubles them more than their ignorance, they prefer being amused to being informed.

Jean-Antoine Dubois
Jean-Antoine Dubois (1765-1848) French Catholic missionary in India [Abbe J. A. Dubois]
(Attributed)
    (Source)

Earliest found attribution in The New Era (Jan 1873).
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There are no friends at cards or world politics

Finley Peter Dunne
Finley Peter Dunne (1867-1936) American humorist and journalist
(Attributed)
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None but the well-bred man knows how to confess a fault, or acknowledge himself in error.

Ben Franklin
Benjamin Franklin (1706-1790) American statesman, scientist, philosopher
Poor Richard’s Almanack (Nov 1738)
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JONES: I’m going after that truck.

SALLAH: How?

JONES: I don’t know, I’m making this up as I go.

Lawrence Kasdan
Lawrence Kasdan (b. 1949) American screenwriter, director, producer
Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981) [with George Lucas, Philip Kaufman]
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So long as a man rides his hobbyhorse peaceably and quietly along the King’s highway, and neither compels you or me to get up behind him — pray, Sir, what have either you or I to do with it?

Sterne - hobbyhorse - wist_info quote

Laurence Sterne
Laurence Sterne (1713-1786) Anglo-Irish novelist, Anglican clergyman
Tristam Shandy, Book 1, ch. 7 (1760-1767)
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The three most beautiful words in the English language are not “I love you.” They are: “It is benign.”

Woody Allen
Woody Allen (b. 1935) American comedian, writer, director [b. Allan Steward Konigsberg]
Deconstructing Harry (1998)
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Human nature is so constituted, that all see and judge better in the affairs of other men than in their own.

Terence of Carthage
Terence (186?-159 BC) African-Roman dramatist [Publius Terentius Afer]
(Attributed)
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If these writings of the Greeks agree with the book of God, they are useless and need not be preserved; if they disagree, they are pernicious and ought to be destroyed.

~generic
Umar I (c. 583-644) Arab caliph, jurist [Omar, Umar ibn Al-Khattāb, Al-Farooq]
(Attributed)

Ordering the burning of the Library of Alexandria in AD 641, as quoted in Edward Gibbon, The Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire (1776-88). The story is generally considered spurious. More discussion here. Alt. trans.: "They will either contradict the Koran, in which case they are heresy, or they will agree with it, so they are superfluous"
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Plagiarize,
Let no one else’s work evade your eyes,
Remember why the good Lord made your eyes,
So don’t shade your eyes,
But plagiarize, plagiarize, plagiarize —
Only be sure always to call it, please, “research”.

Tom Lehrer
Tom Lehrer (b. 1928) American mathematician, satirist, songwriter
“Lobachevsky,” Songs by Tom Lehrer (1953)
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Competition brings out the best in products and the worst in people.

Sarnoff - competition - wist_info quote

David Sarnoff
David Sarnoff (1881-1971) Belarusian-American businessman and broadcasting executive
(Attributed)
Added on 10-Feb-16 | Last updated 10-Feb-16
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There is a large number of women whose brains are closer in size to the gorillas than to the most developed male brains. This inferiority is so obvious that no one can contest it for a moment; only its degree is worth discussion. All psychologists who have studied the intelligence of women … recognize today that they represent the most inferior forms of human evolution, and that they are closer to children and savages than to an adult, civilized man.

Gustave LeBon
Gustave LeBon (1841-1931) German psychologist
Revue d’Anthropologie (1879)
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To have a thing is little, if you’re not allowed to show it;
And to know a thing is nothing, unless others know you know it.

Charles Neaves
Charles Neaves (1800-1876) Scottish judge, theologian, critic, poet
(Attributed)

Quoted in Booth Epigrams, Ancient and Modern (1865).
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“So the moon effects magic, why?”

“I’m working on several theories,” I said. “But I’m currently favoring the hypothesis that the moon has a seemingly arbitrary effect on magic because it likes to piss me off.”

“That’s a theory with a high degree of applicability to other spheres of life,” he said.

“Yes, it is,” I said, and we spontaneously fist bumped.

Ben Aaronovitch
Ben Aaronovitch (b. 1964) British author
Foxglove Summer (2014)
Added on 10-Feb-16 | Last updated 10-Feb-16
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How ridiculous is Caesar and Bonaparte wandering from one extreme of civilization to the other to conquer men — himself, the while, unconquered, unexplored, almost wholly unsuspected to himself?

Ralph Waldo Emerson
Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882) American essayist, lecturer, poet
“Trust Yourself,” sermon (1830)
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You develop an instant global consciousness, a people orientation, an intense dissatisfaction with the state of the world, and a compulsion to do something about it. From out there on the Moon, international politics look so petty. You want to grab a politician by the scruff of the neck and drag him a quarter of a million miles out and say, “Look at that, you son of a bitch.”

Mitchell - look at that - wist_info quote

Edgar Mitchell
Edgar "Ed" Mitchell (1930-2016) American aviator, engineer, astronaut
(Attributed)

The earliest source I can find of the quote is in People (8 Apr 1974), where it appears as an epigraph for a story on Mitchell three years after his flight to the Moon.
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When “Do no Evil” has been understood,
Then learn the harder, braver rule, “Do Good.”

Arthur Guiterman
Arthur Guiterman (1871-1943) American poet, humorist
“Of Duty” (1924)
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Those see nothing but faults that seek for nothing else.

Thomas_Fuller_b1654 2
Thomas Fuller (1654-1734) English writer, physician
Gnomologia (1732)
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Ought not every woman, like every man, to follow the bent of her own talents?

Germaine de Stael
Germaine de Staël (1766-1817) Swiss-French writer, woman of letters, critic, salonist [Anne Louise Germaine de Staël-Holstein, Madame de Staël, Madame Necker]
Corinne, Book 14, ch. 1 (1807)
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I have said time and again there is no place on this earth to which I would not travel, there is no chore I would not undertake if I had any faintest hope that, by so doing, I would promote the general cause of world peace.

Dwight D Eisenhower
Dwight David Eisenhower (1890-1969) American general, US President (1953-61)
News Conference (23 Mar 1955)
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You can lead an organization through persuasion or formal edict. I have never found the arbitrary use of authority to control an organization either effective or, for that matter, personally interesting. If you cannot persuade your colleagues of the correctness of your position, it is probably worthwhile to rethink your own.

Greenspan - persuasion or edict - wist_info quote

Alan Greenspan
Alan Greenspan (b. 1926) American economist, bureaucrat
“Federal Reserve’s Chairman Blends Eye for Politics with Economic Skills,” New York Times (26 Jul 1990)
Added on 8-Feb-16 | Last updated 8-Feb-16
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If Carmel’s founders should return, they could not afford to live there, but it wouldn’t go that far. They would be instantly picked up as suspicious characters and deported over the city line.

John Steinbeck
John Steinbeck (1902-1968) American writer
Travels With Charley (1962)
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Nothin’g sa’ys q’uality fantas’y l’ike misuse’d apos’tro’phes.

James Nicoll
James Nicoll (b. 1961) Canadian reviewer, editor
“SFBC 1999 June,” rec.arts.sf.written, Usenet (11 Feb 2004)
    (Source)

Review of James Clemens's Wit'ch Storm.
Added on 8-Feb-16 | Last updated 8-Feb-16
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Happiness is beneficial for the body but it is grief that develops the powers of the mind.

Marcel Proust
Marcel Proust (1871-1922) French author
Remembrance of Things Past (1913-27)
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My anger has meant pain to me but it has also meant survival, and before I give it up I’m going to be sure that there is something at least as powerful to replace it on the road to clarity.

Audre Lorde
Audre Lorde (1934-1992) American writer, feminist, civil rights activist
“The Uses of Anger: Women Responding to Racism” (1981)
    (Source)
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The girl that I will marry
Will be like a fine wine
That will become better
A bit every morning.

[La fille que j’aimera
Sera comme bon vin
Qui se bonifiera
Un peu chaque matin.]

Brel - like a fine wine - wist_info quote

Jacques Brel
Jacques Brel (1929-1978) Belgian singer, songwriter, actor
“Bachelor’s Dance [La Bourrée Du Célibataire]” (1957)

More commonly translated for English (by Eric Blau): "The girl that I will marry / Will age without a fear / And like the wine grow mellower / With every passing year."
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A refined simplicity is the characteristic of all high bred deportment, in every country.

James Fenimore Cooper
James Fenimore Cooper (1789-1851) American novelist
The American Democrat (1838)
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To act with common sense according to the moment, is the best wisdom I know; and the best philosophy, to do one’s duties, take the world as it comes, submit respectfully to one’s lot; bless the Goodness that has given so much happiness with it, whatever it is; and despise affectation.

Horace Walpole
Horace Walpole (1717-1797) English novelist, letter writer
Letter to Horace Mann (27 May 1776)
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YODA: No! Try not. Do — or do not. There is no try.

Lawrence Kasdan
Lawrence Kasdan (b. 1949) American screenwriter, director, producer
The Empire Strikes Back (1980) [with George Lucas and Leigh Brackett]
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I wonder why you can always read a doctor’s bill and you can never read his prescription.

Finley Peter Dunne
Finley Peter Dunne (1867-1936) American humorist and journalist
(Attributed)
Added on 5-Feb-16 | Last updated 5-Feb-16
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If there were in the world today any large number of people who desired their own happiness more than they desired the unhappiness of others, we could have paradise in a few years.

Russell - happiness unhappiness paradise - wist_info quote

Bertrand Russell
Bertrand Russell (1872-1970) English mathematician and philosopher
New York Times (18 May 1961)
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Every man hath in his own life sins enough, in his own mind trouble enough, in his own fortune evils enough, and in performance of his offices failings more than enough, to entertain his own inquiry; so that curiosity after the affairs of others cannot be without envy, and an evil mind. What is it to me, if my neighbour’s grandfather were a Syrian, or his grandmother illegitimate; or that another is indebted five thousand pounds, or whether his wife be expensive?

Jeremy Taylor
Jeremy Taylor (1613-1667) English cleric and author
The Rules and Exercises of Holy Living (1650)
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It was a great relief to be in a country where salacious sex literature cannot be sold; where putrid motion pictures and gangster films cannot be shown. The new Germany has burned great masses of corrupting books and magazines along with its bonfires of Jewish and communistic libraries.

~generic
Other Authors and Sources
John W. Bradbury, National Baptist Watchman-Examiner (13 Sep 1934)

On being a delegate to the Baptist World Alliance Congress in Berlin.
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No one is more dangerous than someone who thinks he has “The Truth”. To be an atheist is almost as arrogant as to be a fundamentalist. But then again, I can get pretty arrogant.

Tom Lehrer
Tom Lehrer (b. 1928) American mathematician, satirist, songwriter
Interview (June 1996)

When asked if he considered himself atheist or an agnostic.
Added on 4-Feb-16 | Last updated 4-Feb-16
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To live bravely by convictions from which the free peoples of the world can take heart, the American people must put their faith in long-range policies — political, economic, and military — programs that will not be heated and cooled with the brightening and waning of tensions. The United States has matured to world leadership; it is time we steered by the stars, not by the lights of each passing ship.

Omar Bradley
Omar Bradley (1893-1981) American general
Speech, Memorial Day, Longmeadow, Mass. (31 May 1948)
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Start now. Start where you are. Start with fear. Start with pain. Start with doubt. Start with hands shaking. Start with voice trembling but start. Start and don’t stop. Start where you are, with what you have. Just … start.

Umebinyuo - start now - wist_info quote

Ijeoma Umebinyuo
Ijeoma Umebinyuo (contemp.) Nigerian poet
“Start now” (27 Sep 2014)
    (Source)
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I could wile away the hours
Conferrin’ with the flowers,
Consultin’ with the rain;
And my head I’d be scratchin’
While my thoughts were busy hatchin’,
If I only had a brain.

Yip Harburg
E. Y. "Yip" Harburg (1896-1981) American lyricist [Edgar Yipsel Harburg, b. Isidore Hochberg]
“If I Only Had a Brain,” The Wizard of Oz (1939)
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Say nothing good of yourself, you will be distrusted; say nothing bad of yourself, you will be taken at your word.

~generic
Joseph Roux (1834-1886) French Catholic priest
Meditations of a Parish Priest: Thoughts, Part 5 “Joy, Suffering, Fortune,” #22 (1886) [tr. Hapgood]
    (Source)
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“There’s weird shit,” I said. “And we deal with the weird shit, but normally it turns out that there’s a perfectly rational explanation.” Which is often that a wizard did it.

Ben Aaronovitch
Ben Aaronovitch (b. 1964) British author
Foxglove Summer (2014)
Added on 3-Feb-16 | Last updated 3-Feb-16
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The Bible is a sealed book to him who has not first heard its laws from his soul.

Ralph Waldo Emerson
Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882) American essayist, lecturer, poet
“Trust Yourself,” sermon (1830)
Added on 3-Feb-16 | Last updated 3-Feb-16
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I like to believe that people, in the long run, are going to do more to promote peace than our governments. Indeed, I think that people want peace so much that one of these days governments had better get out of the way and let them have it.

Eisenhower - people want peace - wist_info quote

Dwight D Eisenhower
Dwight David Eisenhower (1890-1969) American general, US President (1953-61)
Broadcast with Prime Minister Harold Macmillan, London (31 Aug 1959)
Added on 2-Feb-16 | Last updated 2-Feb-16
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And why does this same God tell me how to raise my children when he had to drown his?

Robert_G._Ingersoll
Robert Green Ingersoll (1833-1899) American lawyer and orator
Some Mistakes of Moses, Sec. 18 “Dampness” (1879)
    (Source)
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All God’s creatures are His family; and he is the most beloved of God who does most good to God’s creatures.

Mohammed (Muhammed)
Muhammad (570-632) Arabian merchant, prophet, founder of Islam [Mohammed]
The Sayings of Muhammad, #251 [tr. Al-Suhrawardy (1941)]
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Mister Marvin Middle Class is really in a stew
Wond’rin’ what the younger generation’s coming to
And the taste of his martini doesn’t please his bitter tongue
Blame it on the Rolling Stones.
Blame it on the Stones; blame it on the Stones
You’ll feel so much better, knowing you don’t stand alone
Join the accusation; save the bleeding nation
Get it off your shoulders; blame it on the Stones.

Kris Kristofferson
Kris Kristofferson (b. 1936) American singer, songwriter, musician, actor
“Blame It on The Stones” (1970) [with Bucky Wilkin]
Added on 2-Feb-16 | Last updated 2-Feb-16
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O Earth! all bathed with blood and tears, yet never
Hast thou ceased putting forth thy fruit and flowers.

Germaine de Stael
Germaine de Staël (1766-1817) Swiss-French writer, woman of letters, critic, salonist [Anne Louise Germaine de Staël-Holstein, Madame de Staël, Madame Necker]
Corinne, Book 13, ch. 4 (1807)
Added on 2-Feb-16 | Last updated 2-Feb-16
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The way’s not easy where the prize is great:
I hope no virtues, where I smell no sweat.

Quarles - smell no sweat - wist_info quote

Francis Quarles
Francis Quarles (1592-1644) English poet
Emblems, Emblem 11, Epigram (1634)
    (Source)

Often given, "I see no virtue where I smell no sweat."
Added on 1-Feb-16 | Last updated 1-Feb-16
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A staff can be no better than the man it serves.

david halberstam
David Halberstam (1934-2997) American journalist and historian
The Best and the Brightest, ch. 10 (1972)
Added on 1-Feb-16 | Last updated 1-Feb-16
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Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.

Groucho Marx
Groucho Marx (1890-1977) American comedian [b. Julius Henry Marx]
(Attributed)
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For the master’s tools will never dismantle the master’s house. They may allow us to temporarily beat him at his own game, but they will never enable us to bring about genuine change.

Audre Lorde
Audre Lorde (1934-1992) American writer, feminist, civil rights activist
“The Master’s Tools Will Never Dismantle the Master’s House” (1979)
    (Source)
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Look, I tried the cat experiment. On the third trial, the cat was dead. On each of the subsequent 413 trials, it remained dead. Am I doing something wrong?

James Nicoll
James Nicoll (b. 1961) Canadian reviewer, editor
“SCHRODINGER’S CAT??” sci.physics, Usenet (11 Mar 1992)
    (Source)
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No matter that patriotism is too often the refuge of scoundrels. Dissent, rebellion, and all-around hell-rousing remain the true duty of patriots.

Ehrenreich - patriotism - wist_info quote

Barbara Ehrenreich
Barbara Ehrenreich (b. 1941) American feminist, journalist, political activist
“Introduction: Family Values” (1988), The Worst Years of Our Lives (1990)

See Johnson.
Added on 29-Jan-16 | Last updated 29-Jan-16
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Men understand the worth of blessings only when they have lost them.

Plautus
Plautus (b. c. 254 BC) Roman playright [Titus Macchius Plautus]
The Captives (3rd C BC)
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The scholar, without good breeding, is a pedant; the philosopher, a cynic; the soldier, a brute; and every man disagreeable.

Lord Chesterfield
Lord Chesterfield (1694-1773) English statesman, wit [Philip Dormer Stanhope]
Letter to his son (9 Oct 1747)
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MICHAEL: I don’t know anyone who could get through the day without two or three juicy rationalizations. They’re more important than sex.

SAM: Ah, come on. Nothing’s more important than sex.

MICHAEL: Oh yeah? Ever gone a week without a rationalization?

Lawrence Kasdan
Lawrence Kasdan (b. 1949) American screenwriter, director, producer
The Big Chill (1983) [with Barbara Benedek]
Added on 29-Jan-16 | Last updated 29-Jan-16
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“Vice,” said Mr. Dooley, “is a creature of such heejous mein, as Hogan says, that th’ more ye see it th’ betther ye like it.”

[“Vice,” said Mr. Dooley, “is a creature of such hideous mien, as Hogan says, that the more you see it the better you like it.”]

Finley Peter Dunne
Finley Peter Dunne (1867-1936) American humorist and journalist
“The Crusade Against Vice,” Mr. Dooley’s Opinions (1901)
    (Source)
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